we both cheated both ,disrespected each other,i call her names when mad,but was said out of anger, i never ment them she did call some back,was jealious of her in the navy felt like out cast,insucure. is there hope? she is afaid i will turn back cuz her 2 friends bf/husband treat ther girls like crap when they do i feel i am getting bum rap
2006-09-07 08:45:37 · 21 answers · asked by bigt83074 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if u both cheated, it seems that neither of you want to be in a relationship with each other . .
2006-09-07 08:48:33 · answer #1 · answered by ♥LoisLane♥ 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you have both cheated, you have probably damaged the trust between the two of you too much to really mend the situation. At the very least, break up for a while, give each other some time to heal, and then try again later if you are still in love. But don't get back together simply because it is there and easy - this is obviously not making either of you happy - and so what is the point?
2006-09-07 16:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by starlet_8 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you both need to set down and talk, communication is the key here.
You both need to be honest with each other and the name calling has to stop and stop now...
You both need to go to council, but this has to be a mutal choice between each of you. You cannot force her and she cannot force you to go it will never work that way if you do.
I don't know why either one of you had an affair and it does not matter usually there are no excueses so stop looking for them.
If you both want this marriage to work get help. Also you both will have to stop blaming the other one and stop bringing up the affairs to each other. You never forget but with time it does fade to the background of your mind.
If you forgive each other then you have to make the effort to move on with your lives.
If you are in the military I understand you are gone a lot and she has time alone so therefore instead of the both of you running a-muck do something constructive.
Do not let your buddies tell you you are getting a bum rap. This is your life and your business you do what you need to do weather is is getting a divorce or making the marriage work it is up to the both of you.
You both need to learn to give 100% to each other, to respect, to love, to cherish and be thankful for each other. Sounds like the both of you are young and need to grow up a bit.
God bless you both.
Get help or get out before the children start appearing!
2006-09-07 16:33:36 · answer #3 · answered by floridagrandma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What both of you did was wrong but in this life you must forgive and forget and hard as it may seem to do. Let this girl know you have change and i mean you actually have to change. let her know that you love her and you are willing to go to therpy if that is what it will take to regain trust. And this goes both ways because she did her dirt to and she needs to addmit that she was wrong. Confess feelings to each other and try to work this thing out please. And about the Navy thing there is no need to feel like that because if you andher are together then you both benefit from this. the bills have too be paid and you and her have to eat so consider this a good career for you also to think about.
2006-09-07 15:58:38 · answer #4 · answered by cupcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if u both cheated then u know that trust in your marriage was breached and it's going to take a long time before u both feel comfortable being in a relationship with each other again. If u both want to try and work things out, try counseling together and see how that goes, otherwise just move on with your separate lives.
2006-09-07 16:05:10 · answer #5 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
either seek marrital counciling or get a divorce. your in 2 deep now to get out of this hole alone. and even with help your probably going to go seperate way's and just chalk this marriage up to a learning experience.
His Needs, Her Needs, By Willard harley Jr. ( might help you learn why you both had an affair.
The 5 Love languages, Chapman might help you learn your love language, the reason you married her.
BUT your going to need a counciler to cut the crap, get through the lies and get to the real truth of why the marriage is the way it is.
GOD BLESS
2006-09-07 16:04:11 · answer #6 · answered by Sully 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its best that you guys give each other some time apart that way you guys think about if you really want to work things out and how you guys feel abou each other. When you get away from a loved one u realize what you got you will know your anwer then.
2006-09-07 15:54:33 · answer #7 · answered by Angel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what a mixed up, scary life ye have it sounds complicated i think for this relationship to last ye need councilling and a lot of it if not then forget it. could you imagine feeling like this for the rest of your life. find someone that you feel secure with its a big world out there surely it has to get better then this hun.
2006-09-07 16:05:55 · answer #8 · answered by EMMA O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are honest,that is good.You recognize and realize, what both did is wrong.That is excellent.Now you have time to fix,to heal the wounds (in both).Get professional help,a counsellor.You already have time to save the relationship.Good luck.
2006-09-07 16:21:04 · answer #9 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Both of you need counscelling and move on with other people. That way yuo have a clean slate with someone else.
2006-09-07 15:53:21 · answer #10 · answered by teulonbranchlibrary 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what are you looking for from us approval that you both cheated. What do you need someone to say? your right she's wrong....your are both wrong and i'ld say the relatonship is doomed to go down
2006-09-07 15:50:13 · answer #11 · answered by ally'smom 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋