Me and my friend just found out we were pregnant but my friend isnt sure if she is gonna keep it because she is with her boyfriend and pregnant by another man, she's stressing herself out cause she really wants it but she doesnt know what to do, she's afraid to tell her boyfriend cause she thinks he will try to fight her and make her have a miscarriage.
Not to say its right but men some men cheat on their women and have babies and their women stick by them, I told her this may happen or may not happen but she has to be prepared for whatever.
Has anyone ever been in this situation?? and if so what did you do or what was the final outcome? I've been trying to help her out but she's getting more and more depressed.
I know some of you may judge but why, you are not GOD!
2006-09-07 08:42:48 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Honesty is always best. She made a mistake and likely will have to pay the consequences. However, he has the right to know the truth.
She should go to him and break it gently. Tell him that she understands that he needs to do what he needs to do. If he loves her, he will stand by her. If he doesn't, then he wont and they can both move on.
If you or she is afraid of him getting physical with her, then she needs to get out of that relationship anyway. There is NEVER ANY excuse for a man to hit a woman.
2006-09-07 08:51:20 · answer #1 · answered by Doogie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My suggestion is that your friend tell her boyfriend (that she cheated on) about this baby when other trusted people are around. This way here the boyfriend can not "fight" her. And if she is afraid he is going to beat her up so she has a miscarriage, why would she even WANT to consider staying with him??? Probably not a good idea.
Your friend should consider adoption if she is not prepared to have a child of her own. I don't know how old she is or what her situation is. I also would recommend finding out if the father of the child is going to be in the child's life. He has a legal right to be and she needs to know how he feels about this.
Unless you want to be parents, consider safe sex from now on... both of you.
2006-09-07 08:52:13 · answer #2 · answered by PT&L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever happened to marriage and then raising a family??? It is so unfair to the children! Stop putting the cart before the horse. There is a reason for marriage, having a baby is not like adopting a puppy. You are responsible for the child's emotional, physical, spritual and mental well being. It's a tough job and a huge committment. You can't know now how your life will be forever changed by becoming a parent.
2006-09-07 08:55:48 · answer #3 · answered by Maria b 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants the baby (and I hope she does!), then she'll just have to deal with the consequences. She might lose her guy, she might not. Either way, that baby will still be there. That child is part hers, no matter who the daddy is. Is there a chance her boyfriend could be the daddy? Do the guys look enough alike for it to matter? I'm not saying pass the kid off as his, I just wondered. Does she think she could single parent ok? To me, a child of your own flesh and blood ranks higher than any boyfriend. My friend cheated on her guy while they were seperated (drunken mistake, kinda cheat kinda not since seperated). She never told him and neither have we. Its her choice, not her friends. The baby looks so much like her and her older child that I don't think it even matters so much. If he wants a child, he'll stick around. If he doesn't, then he won't.
2006-09-07 08:49:41 · answer #4 · answered by Velken 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I have not been in this situation, the comment that alarms me the most in your questions is: "She's afraid to tell her boyfriend cause she thinks he will try to fight her and make her have a miscarriage". NO WOMAN SHOULD BE AFRAID THAT HER PARTNER WILL HURT HER FOR ANY REASON. If she is really fearful of his reaction, I certainly would not tell him alone, and I would definitely reconsider being in the relationship at all.
Regardless of how the pregnancy came about, SHE needs to decide if SHE is ready, willing and able to care for a baby. Once she has made that decision, she can proceed.
2006-09-07 08:52:25 · answer #5 · answered by Vee 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs all the support she can get right now. So what if it isn't her bfs? If she was cheating on him then it means she isn't really committed to their relationship anyway. It's her call but if she is scared about him hurting her, then when she tells him, make it in a public place. If she isn't sure if her bf is the father, then he is definately going to have a problem. To lessen the blow on her behalf she is going to need your support. If she takes him to a public place to tell him; then there's less of a chance that he'll make a scene. If that is not possible, then she can try having her "support group" of best friends or family there so that he is a little out numbered if he does try anything. Congrats to both of you and good luck.
2006-09-07 09:34:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she wants to have the baby she MUST have the baby. I don't believe that she would ever be able to live with the emotional detriment of having an abortion when it wasn't something she wanted to do to begin with. As for her boyfriend she MUST tell him. If she is afraid of bodily harm make sure she tells him in a very public place where he can't touch her and that they go to that place in separate vehicles so she doesn't have to worry about the consequences on the trip home. If she chooses to have an abortion she needs to make sure that decision is hers because the emotional fallout after an abortion is something no woman is ever prepared for if they make the decision I can't imagine what it would be like if the decision was forced. Best of luck to you and your friend!
2006-09-07 08:52:07 · answer #7 · answered by smilestoomuch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that happened to me then i found out he had a girl prenant that was 6 months behind me... i told him with me it was 50/50 chance just so happened that when i got a test he was the father and now im wishin the other guy rely was.. dont let her get rid of it some how it will work out for her,,, i would have her tell the other guy first and just get a test when the baby is born there could be a chance that her boy friend is the dad like in my sisuation? ya never know....in any case you guys can enjoy bein preggers together which probly wount ever happen again and your kids can be friends
2006-09-07 08:53:56 · answer #8 · answered by jaydaka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to know that because she is pregnant now she needs to make every decision she has to make based on what is best for the baby. Whether it makes it harder on her or not she needs to put her baby first now because thats what a good mother does. I hope everything works out for her & wish her the best of luck. If she is afraid that her b/f will get physical with her if she tells him then she should have someone with her when she does it.
2006-09-07 09:28:02 · answer #9 · answered by sweetamberwaves 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in this situation, I was in the middle of 2 guys because I couldnt quite figure out who I wanted to be with. Well, I got preggy and I didnt know who it was by! So I simply sat them down not together of course and talked to them, they both told me the same thing, Decide who you want to be with and if its me, I will take care of the baby weither it be mine or not, but if its not you must let the father see him... But It dont always work like that, I just guess im lucky with the understanding guys. I lost my babie though. I wish your friend luck with her pregnancy and tell he all she can really do is tell the truth. Tell her to sit down and talk with the guys and if she needs to, tell her to leave them both and tell them she needs so alone time to think about some things, and if they cant respect that they cant respect her, I know how females are sometimes because I am one , and we need time to think because we change our minds and get confused a lot, ecspecaily when it comes to men! But tell her please do not give up on the baby!
2006-09-07 08:53:08 · answer #10 · answered by Sarah T 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋