Serious Question about Fiance's ex wife?

Question

My boyfriends birthday was yesterday and I got him some nice things; however his ex wife gets him things from his kids which is fine I do it with my kids, here is my question I feel like she tries to out do me and does it through her children she got him $300.00 worth of stuff right down to boxers. I spent maybe half that because I have to budget my money, Is there something wrong with me or does it seem out of the ordinary that ex wife spends that much money on his gifts from his kids? Please I dont wont smart assed answers Im just wondering, She does this on his birtday and fathers day and Christmass and spends alot of money.

Wouldnt you think boxers are kind of personal and then turn around and say its from the kids? Im lost

Answer 1

I don't think anything about the boxers, but I think you are right about the money she spends. In fact, if I were your boyfriend, I would be telling her to not spend so much on me, and take some of that money and spend it on the children.

You do need to communicate with your boyfriend. Even if he agrees with you, he needs to take some type of action.

Answer 2

You all ought to artwork jointly for the forged of the youngster. She has unresolved subject concerns including your fiance that must be labored out. propose that he talks to her with out you around and to no longer even carry you up. The ex shouldn't act this way whether you're there or no longer. (hacking under consideration) related to you and stalking and so on. He could discover out what the priority is. Why does she dislike you lots? according to possibility because of the fact which you're actually taking the area of her in the living house and could be a step be certain. She is making an attempt to run you off because of the fact she does not like your new function. You all ought to sit down down jointly too. talk boundries and common habit. do no longer make it right into a "you are attempting this, or you by no skill try this." or you will no longer get any the place. even although she is nuts enable her have some dignity and it would be some distance much less stressful. you're all committed to the youngster having a sturdy living house and no rigidity.

Answer 3

MAYBE..she is trying to mess with you.. but...look at it in a different way. YOU..are enjoying those boxers..not her...let her spend her money on him...she is probably..dying because he is marrying you!.. Make comments to the kids like... "I LOVED THE BOXERS..THEY MATCH A PAIR OF UNDERWEAR THAT I HAVE!.(or a nightgown, shirt...etc.).. Buy yourself some that match so if she tells him..it's true! (the kids will tell her..and imagine what she will feel) Don't let her see that it bothers you...kill her with kindness. He knows that what YOU..give him is with love and the amount should NOT..matter to him. Don't bother him...with what you feel about her..(or tell him..in a smart way). it will get better as times goes by... I had kind of the same problem and his ex..got tired of trying to piss me off..because..IT NEVER WORKED.!.. Use your imagination and play smart... You practically have the guy.... SHE.. lost him! He will always be a part of the kids lives..but SHE..will learn to respect you...(IF HE...GIVES YOU RESPECT).. Boxers are kind of personal..for an ex to give as a present..but.....you know..that HE.. has no..control over it. Be nice to him and sweet...tell him not to worry about what she gives him...that you know it is not his fault..(he will see your reactions and respect you more). Talk to him about the little things she does that bother you... but in a smart way...like if it didn't bother you..remember....BE SMART!. GOOD LUCK!!

Answer 4

I would be pissed off too and if my boyfriend accepted them regardless of if they were (from the kids OR not) I would have an issue, unless the kids are actually old enough to pick out the present. Some kids who are older than 7 do think that boxers are a cool gift. It definately is her trying to make you look bad, But hey look at it this way, if she wants to spend the money from child support on him then he really is paying for his own present!!!

Answer 5

sounds to me she wants him back and is using the kids to do her dirty work. what was his reaction to all the stuff she bought him. maybe u need to talk to him and tell him how this makes u feel and to make sure he is over her before u get married to him cause this make cause a problem after u are married if u don't say anything now i think a nice shirt or tie from his kids is fine but boxers that's a little out of her place now she had her chance and for what reason or another she blow it so she needs to let go and respect u as the woman in his life now i hope i was serious enough

Answer 6

I agree with you.
This "from the kids" disguised ploy at outdoing you is immature.
I imagine that her attitude about it is likely an indicator of why she and your boyfriend are divorced. As in, she may have substituted material things for the actual effort of having to care for him, or her trying to out do you is the kind of crap she normally pulls with everyone (better car than the neighbors, better gifts from mom at x-mas than dad got them etc.)
Perhaps it's actually a jab at him. Like as if she were saying that he's incapable of providing these things for himself, and she's so well off that she needs to shove it up his nose when she gets the chance.
I think that if you let it bother you, she will have won her little game.
You should praise the children for how great their gifts are for dad, and leave it alone. If the dumb ***** wants to blow that much dough for some particular reason, let her. She'll be wasting her time and money (or perhaps his child support payments?). You should not let your reaction to her over gifting be her reward.
Know what I mean?
Good luck

Answer 7

I agree with the general public on this one, i think she is trying to make you mad. I would be mad if i were in your situation. Just remember, more than likely your bf is paying for all those gifts anyway, through childsupport. You should tell him that you think that is how she is paying for the gifts and yo udont' think that it is right for her to spend that much money that should be going to the kids. If he loves and respects you, he will tlak to her about it. If she continues to do it, then don't worry about it. There is a reason why she is the ex. All he can do is try to get her to stop. Don't feel bad though. Your bf knows you and he knows that you can't afford to go over the top. Love doesn't have a pricetag on it anyway.

Answer 8

OH HELL NO!! I would never get my ex anything for his birthday, not even a card. And I especially wouldn't spend $300.00 on him, I don't care if I did say it was from the kids. And me and my ex get along great. If I do get something for him from the kids its something that doesn't cost alot and the kids usually pick it out. Number one, my ex is in a relationship and if his girlfriend wants to spend that kind of money then that is up to her. He is her man, not mine, I don't have any right spending that kind of money on him (my kids don't either). As for the boxers, I wouldn't want to buy him any underwear! That is his girlfriends job. I think she is doing this to be smart and to get you all worked up. I wouldn't ignore her actions. And if it was my man he wouldn't be accepting such personal gifts. Your man knows damn well that his kids did not pick out underwear for dear ole' dad. Buy accepting those gifts your man is disrespecting you and the relationship. He needs to step up (not you) and be a man and say " If you want to buy me something from the kids for Birthday, Christmas etc... $10 or $20 dollars is fine, please don't spend that much on me anymore". But I agree with you this behavior has to stop. It is very disrespectful and uncalled for. She is trying to outdo you. You hit the nail on the head. And she is also trying to break you two up depending on who did the divorceing she is trying to get her ex to think twice and always keep her in the back of his mind. If he doesn't nip her minipulateing behavior in the bud it is only going to get worse, and your relationship with your man is never going to go anywhere, it will become stagnet.

Hang in there, you sound like a strong women who is secure in herself and you really don't know which way to turn with this because you are secure in yourself and you dont want to seem insecure. But set your pride aside you have every right to end her behavior for the sake of your relationship.

Answer 9

i think you have every right to feel the way you do. i think that you are in a tight position if you argue it he may think you a problem with the his kids if you stand by and let it go it will only eat away at you and you may end up in a very heated arguement. you have to see that hes with you and his EX wife is and ex for a reason. try talking to your man about the situation show him and reason with him why you feel this way be honest and open.

i gotta say its very strange to buy boxers that are ment to be from the kids i see where your coming from.

see what he has to say hopefully he will see your reasons

Answer 10

Yeah that is weird. Me and my husband gives the kids $10 or $20 for Christmas shopping. If they want to spend it all on the other parent that's their choice, but usually the just want to go to one of the dollar stores and get as many cute gifts as they can for grandparents, me ,my husband, the other parent and each other. It's the thought that counts anyway not the price of the gift.