Right after we started dating, my wife and I ended up going on a camping trip. We did not know it at the time - but her old boyfriend who she broke up with less than a month ago was there, too.
It was awkward for her - but almost MORE awkward for me!
Here I was having beers with a guy who had been banging my girlfriend less than a month prior!
Ok...fast forward...
My wife had an affair with a co-worker over the beginning of the summer. We have been married 8 years - she could not handle the guilt after awhile, and through counseling have worked our way through it.
Anyhow, last weekend we were invited to a wedding - and her lover was there!
Again - she did not know he would be there. I had to "pretend" I did not know he had been having sex with her. I was nice to him, but-
Why did I feel so "ashamed" almost?
Have other guys been in the same room - or had drinks - with someone they knew had recently slept with their wife or girlfriend?
What was it like for you?
2006-09-07 08:18:04 · 10 answers · asked by play_ball 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
This does not "keep happening"...its only happened twice.
I guess my issue was - I wanted to know "everything" about her old boyfriend when we were dating, and likewise about she and her lover.
Knowing personal "details" about the guys, what they did, their size, etc...probably made it worse for me.
Thanks for the honest answers...
2006-09-07 08:36:08 · update #1
That hasn't happened to me, I just wanted to say what an interesting question -- something I have never thought of before. If it were me, I am pretty sure that I would have left the wedding, taking my wife with me, which would have been rude to the people getting married, but I don't think I could have controlled my anger. Also, you do NOT have to pretend you don't know your wife had sex with the guy at the wedding. As a matter of fact, I believe you should tell him that not only do you know, but that if it ever happens again [insert vaguely worded but ominous threat here].
2006-09-07 08:28:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should dump your wife and doesn't it seem a little odd to you this keeps happening--is she a slut? That's the message I would have gotten a long time ago. There's no problem with the camping scenario (assuming she wasn't cheating on you), but I wouldn't want to be in the same room with the cheater at the wedding.
2006-09-07 08:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Recently... No! But I dont cheat... I am however friend with ALL OF MY X'S... and I would never date a guy who had a problem with that. My husband is actually friends with a few of my X's... I guess its all cool because they must have something in common... I have very high standards! So they all get along pretty well. I dont think my husband even thinks twice about it. Especially since we cant go anywhere without running into someone he has been with... (he has been around). I know I dont think twice about it either. Good Luck!
2006-09-07 08:23:01 · answer #3 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
listen there was no shame in what you felt!! at the end of the day you may have worked it out with your wife but this man had been having it away with your wifew for gods sake!! you were no way at fault so y should you keep your mouth shut!!? i think you have some bottled up anger that you just need 2 let out and no-one would blame you!!
2006-09-07 08:22:33 · answer #4 · answered by Lipzyy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you pretend anything? I would of punched the bastard in the face! He screwed your wife and then was fake nice to your face? You have nothing to be ashamed. You are too nice and I'm glad you have the cajones to be the bigger man in the situation.
2006-09-07 08:24:32 · answer #5 · answered by impossible 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh dear you poor thing For my husband I hadnt bedded the Ex for over four years so he shook hands with him and I was the UNcomfortable one...i cant stand the Ex Hes so controlling and he ripped me off in the divorce.
try to avoid him...ugh
2006-09-07 08:22:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can handle the stuff before the relationship, but the summer thing... nope. I'm gone. You are a bigger (or dumber), man than me.
2006-09-07 08:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by tbayxxxv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you need a new girl. She's all over the place!!!
2006-09-07 08:21:43 · answer #8 · answered by jb 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh you poor guy. I am so sorry for you.
2006-09-07 08:21:24 · answer #9 · answered by ~*Katie*~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is just too bad
2006-09-08 22:18:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋