ok, here it is. i heard from a reliable source that my stepson might not be the dad of his girlfriends baby. should i tell him? he is 27 this is his first baby, it will break his heart.
2006-09-07 08:09:45 · 26 answers · asked by supermomma 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Talk to the girlfriend and convince her that she would be doing the right thing by telling him herself.
2006-09-07 08:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd confront his girlfriend. If she thinks that it may not be his kid then she needs to tell him, not you. As far as your concerened all you have is second hand information and if you tell him and it isn't really true it could really screw up some stuff. Trust me, similar things have happened in my family. It is really between the two of them. Passing on gossip is NOT the way to go...I'd also consider the source that you heard it from...is the source credible or an enemy of his relationship and possibly wanting to get even or something? There is alot to consider before you ever pass on second hand gossip. Besides, you can't prove it. You may want to protect him, but it may not actually be protecting him in the long run. He's the one that trusted the girl, she needs to tell him if it is true or not.
2006-09-07 15:29:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't tell him anything. First of all, no matter how reliable your source may be, it may just be a vendictive rumor. I understand about wanting to protect your son from heartache, but he should hear this from the source. His girlfriend might not ever tell him (or this might not be true), but that is her choice. I would suggest speaking with her first. Get your knowledge from the source. This is a difficult situation, but it's not your situation.
2006-09-10 17:36:28 · answer #3 · answered by Alicia L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly you should think about it if him ad his g/f break up he is 100% responsable for the baby he will pay out the but for it pluse wouldn't you wanna know if a kid is yours or not its not fair to keep it a secret and it would suck that if he finds out it's not when the kid is 2 or 5 then hes so attached to him and fiding out at that age will crush your son and the kid then the mom can say stay away and he will never see the baby again and there is nothing he can do about it
just go to him and say hunny i need to talk to you and say this person told me that your g/f baby may not be yours and let him talk to his g/f about it and maybe get a test to see if it is or not and let him know that you thought he should know what ppl are saying and if he ask you what you think just say i hope it is but i don't know i wasn't there
just remember all those poor guys you see on tv who find out a kids not theres after years of raiseing them and how crushed they are let him know now better sooner then later
pluse my friend was in that boat and know body said anything he foud out when the kid was 5 that it was not his and he is still paying for a kid that does not belong to him and he does not get to see only because the mom wont let him and being hes not the baby dad there is nothing he can do
good luck and let him know
2006-09-07 15:36:56 · answer #4 · answered by shylilly_665 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no leave it alone the problem is you are stating what you heard, maybe your reliable source just heard it to, you have no proof that it is true so you shouldn't even bother with it, what ever is in the dark will come to light, if it's true he'll find out sooner or later, but don't play dr. phil here, just let him find out on his own, because if the baby is his he will be very upset with you, because you were stating rumors not facts, do you have any evidence to back this rumor up?
2006-09-07 17:20:58 · answer #5 · answered by mznatural30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would talk to the his girlfriend first and find out if their is any validity to the rumor you are hearing. people do like to talk and judge and usually make stuff up (or exaggerate) when they do this. if she admits it then let her decide what to do, this really isn't any of your business. if she denies it and you still really think so i would still stay out of it, but i know that can be hard to do, so if it eats at you so much that you have to tell him, i would try to talk to him at his place, alone. he might be ok with it if he's not but not want anyone else to know. but still i cannot stress enough, the best thing to do is mind your business, not theirs.
2006-09-07 15:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by jwpsgirls 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't break his heart if you don't have too. Go talk to the girlfriend. Tell her what you heard and that if it's true that he has a right to know. But it's her job to tell him.
2006-09-07 15:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes
2006-09-07 15:31:19 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would encourage him to have a DNA test to confirm and secure his legal rights as a father. I wouldn't say anything about the child not being his just be subtle. if he does love this child and the relationship doesn't work out he needs to know his rights and obligations to the child
2006-09-07 15:21:57 · answer #9 · answered by rwl_is_taken 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
nope, don't say a word. he's 27, it's his life now. but i admire the fact that you care enough to want to tell him. just remember that rumors fly around...don't let a rumor that you don't know for sure to be true, break your son's heart. good luck and take care!
2006-09-07 15:25:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋