what would u do if ur husband did this?

Question

u went out for a few hours and you came home to find your husband in bed at 7pm masturbating in his bedroom with the door locked whilst our 2 year old and 3 year old where left to their own devices ??? i would like some help on this one

Answer 1

kick him to the curb dont be an idoit

Answer 2

Are u mad because he was masterbating or because he was not watching the kids? If you had come home and he was in the bedroom watching a ballgame would you be as mad?

Before u start asking a bunch of complete strangers, most of whom are idiots, what you should do you need to decide what the real issue is here.

If you are truly upset because he was wasn't paying enough attention to the kids I can understand your anger however you must admit that when you are watching them and he is out there are certainly times when you become distracted and don't pay enough attention.

On the understand, if you are really upset because your husband was wacking off, something which seems to upset many married women, than that is a different issue all together.

Masterbation is as natural for a human as breathing and I can tell you right now he is not going to stop. So, if that is the real issue you need to get over it.

Answer 3

Have you spoken to him about this? I would (if you are able to be rational) express how this has made you feel. It is much better to communicate with somebody when you are rational then when you are irrational.
As far as the actual act, it would seem as though your husband was trying to deal with his emotions by not getting the children involved. You have to give him credit for that. Think of how traumatizing that would be for a 2 and 3 year old to see their father masturbating in front of them. In that regard, he was being responsible. However, he should have waited to masturbate while the children were asleep or while somebody else was in the house.

Answer 4

I think I have a different viewpoint. I think I would ask how long he had been in the bedroom. I'm sure you allow him to go to the bathroom and spend a few minutes in there without leaving the door open. It probably would have been more appropriate if he would have waited but maybe he made sure the children were OK and snuck away for a couple of minutes. Maybe he did this while you were gone so he wouldn't make you feel obliged to assist him with his sexual needs.

Answer 5

That was pretty irresponsible of him.

Just tell him never to do it again.

The kids should be watched at all times, i've got a 2 year old niece and she could be out the door and in the street in less than 30 seconds.

One two year old is enough for two people to handle, but for a two and three year old to be watched by one person, that's tough.

Answer 6

Chill out woman , we all get the urge to masturbate if you say you havent done it then your a liar , yeah its wrong for the kids to be left on their own but just give him a bollocking and tell him not to leave the kids alone again . but as for the w@nking chill out , even in the best marriages with good sex lives , there is sometimes still the need to have a w@ank men and women ....

Answer 7

What do you find the main problem is here? If you object to him masturbating then you need to discuss that with him. If you don't like him leaving your kids alone (and who would?) then you need to discuss that too. Try to keep the 2 issues separate or he will get doubly defensive. Use the words 'we have an issue we need to get sorted out' rather than 'YOU have a problem.' Stay calm, don't attack him. He's probably embarassed. And keep it in context, you didn't catch him with another woman (that's painful I know.)

Answer 8

I think you need to tell him how you feel. Most likely it will primarily involve your concern that the children were not being supervised. And be honest...were they truly unsupervised and in harm's way or simply taking a nap or playing. The next issue will involve how you feel about his choice to masturbate and why he chose this particular time. It may be difficult to do with the anger you're feeling but allow him to explain how he's been feeling. If you attack him as a worthless parent or a sick demented sexual psychopath you are less likely to resolve this to your mutual satisfaction.

Answer 9

Well, this is a cause for concern. Not for the fact that he masterbated (everyone "rubs one out" now and then), but that he left the children unattended while he did so.

It's simple....talk to him about his impluse and caution him not to leave his future (aka his children) unattended. If it happens again then put him on a "get well" program...if he fails that then cast him aside for the protection of your own children.

Now for the Masterbation. If this becomes excessive then it could be a sign that he has "unfulfilled demand". Like any business "unmet demand" is a businesses greatest enemy! So it iswith you and you sexual relationship! You have to look into yourself to see if "you're answering the mail" with regards to his sexual needs. If you're not then you have to do some rethinking and maybe some changing for your relationship.

Good luck

Answer 10

The fact that he was masturbating, even with you not home is normal even sexy BUT to do it while you're children are awake and while you're supposed to be attending to them? Not so good. He definately needs to learn there is a time and place for everything and get his priorities in order. I would suggest some tough love and look up on yahoo maybe "toddler household accidents"....or some other wording to show him images of what can happen when toddlers are bored from being unsupervised and the damage they can inflict on themselves. GL

Answer 11

anything could have happened those kids! you need to sit down with him and explain that he has 2 kids 2 look after obviously u need to talk to him like he is 14 all over again cause it sounds like something a 14 year old would do, irresponsible. then ask if there is anything you can do to help the situation cause he is frustrated.