Do most marriages take on the woman's personality?

Question

I've noticed amongst all of our married friends, their lives tend to echo the personality of the wives. Usually the house, kids, finances, political leanings tend to match the wives. I also notice that the husbands are less likely to commit to an outside activity until they check with the wife first. Is this common or am I just in a group of friends whose wives are large personalities?

Answer 1

You are absolutely right, and it's actually very common. Men have a tendency to want two things paramount in their marriage. One being the ability to provide all that their wives want and need, and two being the fact that most men want nothing more then for their wife to be happy...

I don't agree with this, but I think it might have more to do with nature then anything. I personally am not married, probably because I am stubborn. However my parents have been married for 49 years, and I know that what you are talking about is true for all of their married friends also. And if you notice, in society, most of the single men are usually unique and don't want to compromise on anything and have a strong mindset in everything they do and believe in.

I don't think that there is any real answer to that question, maybe it's something as simple as men just would rather not feel the wrath of their wife for doing something that they don't want to do. You know how women get when even the most trivial thing is done not their way or in a way that they don't agree with. Some women just love to disagree with the men in their live, and the men just don't want to deal with that nonsense and so they quote unquote ask permission...just in case.

My advice is that you not bring this issue up with your wife, because then you would be accused of being critical of your social friends, critical of women, and critical of society. Just go with the flow and my personal advice is to be creative when you want to do something or want to influence something your way.

But in a nutshell you are 100% correct - why not just be a republican if your wife is a republican instead of her creating world war III in the house every 4 years? She doesn't know what button you actually pushed!

Answer 2

Perhaps your perception of the situation would be different if you were married, or if you were friends with all of the wives instead of the husbands!
I think that most often the woman is sort of relegated to running the household and scheduling all of the events. If that is the case then I would think that they would, out of courtesy, check with the wife to make sure that they themselves had not previously agreed to some other obligation. It's perhaps not so much the "asking her permission" sort of thing that it seems to be.

Answer 3

In our house my husband and I both have "large personalities". We try to keep things 50/50. Sometimes it is his way and sometimes it is mine. He does ask before he does something without me, but I do the same thing. It is just common courtesy to let each other know where we are and what we are doing. As far as finances, he pays all the bills and I keep my check. Not that I demand it, it is just how it has always been. We do the grocery shopping together as well as discipline the children together.

Answer 4

My husband won't answer until checking with me either and that sometimes bothers me he says it is because I am the one who takes care of the house and he doesn't know if I have plans already. He works at least 58 hours a week and I am the one who takes care of the house kids school dance bills grocery's etc.... So I kinda see how he might not know what is going on. I never really thought that it was because I was the large personality.

Answer 5

Well usually, I think some husbands just get in the rut of the whole "yes dear" mentality. But I would like my marriage to be 50/50 in everything. Most wives just always want to have their way down the road, and guys who don't want to fight always let her have their way. And thats just not fair at all.

Answer 6

When people get married, their lives change. It is only considerate to check with your partner before committing to an activity.

I don't think marriages take on women's personalities - they are a reflection of the couple.

Answer 7

It would probably be difficult to say that "most" of them do but mine did...twice. I once heard some research about the factors that prevent a couple from divorcing and the number one factor was that the man capitulated on every significant conflict. It's likely that once that happens it could snowball depending on the degree of control the woman seeks.

Answer 8

Yes I see it a lot around me too. I see a lot of marriages where the woman pulls the social reigns when the husband gets ideas about (what to her mind is) straying off.

In my case, while I don't get reigned in alot, its probably because I enjoy her company enough to almost always want her with me on social outings.

Answer 9

My wife might disagree with me, but I actually think she has become more like me over our 20-year marriage. Some changes that have made her more like me: got her bachelor's degree; started liking shrimp; votes regularly in elections; eats faster (formerly, I'd be done with a meal before she even started); enjoys watching tennis and football. I'm sure it goes both ways though.

Answer 10

i think so, and i think men are in control of enough stuff, don't you? the home is the woman's domain in most lifestyles. this is our world. i think men like to feel that someone is taking care of the details, and men have a hard time multi-tasking. this way there isn't too much information. the husband has plenty of room in his head for work stresses, football and sex. i bet you know a lot of happily married men.