In the process of dealing with a divorce - the one comment that keeps coming up on message boards, from friends and even counselors is that husbands/wives who have affairs and leave their spouses end up regretting their decisions. Just curious - does this actually happen? If you are a person who did that why??
2006-09-07 07:41:26 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I did! I cheated on my wife and lived to regret it. Why did I regret it?, well for me the "other" woman was someone new and she gave me what was missing in my marriage (sex). But after living with this "other" woman for a couple of months and the infatuation was over,I realized that I had made a HUGE mistake. I had nothing in common with this new woman except for the sex, no interests, no hobbies, NOTHING! I ended the relationship and talked to my wife about forgiving me, the short of it is she DID! It has been 8 years since my affair and I have never cheated on my wife since eventhough I have had the chance. A mistake is done once, more than once is taking advantage!
2006-09-07 10:00:49 · answer #1 · answered by Archangel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you have an affair it's usually to find something you don't have in your marriage. There is also the adventure of doing something wrong and completely different. Regretting your decision to leave usually means one of three things: Your new person decides to leave too, the feeling of adventure is not there anymore or your EX is trying to take all your money. All three happened to me after I split, but I believed no matter what happened, leaving was still the right thing to do. Looking back, I was right.
2006-09-07 14:54:18 · answer #2 · answered by 2hot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just went through with the divorce, not regretting it yet. I'm alone now, but happier than ever.
I wasn't in a good marriage, constantly walking on eggshells and watching every thing that was said to keep from getting him angry. My family didn't even come over to visit me because they didn't like to be around him. Heck, his family didn't even come around. If they did come over, they would leave within ten minutes. We never talked, never went anywhere, and basically just sat around watching TV (and I'm not a homebody). It wasn't like that when we dated, but as soon as the rings were exchanged, it was like I was a piece of property. Everything changed. The first few years, I couldn't do anything alone without being accused of cheating (and I wasn't). A night without sex meant that I must have been with someone else that day. Weeks of my period were miserable because I had to listen to how he was going without. All vacations we went on were ruined at least one of the days because he would get angry over something. He always brought up divorce and told me how miserable he was (that is until I left and he said that he never meant any of that and wanted me to stay because he was happy). I tried talking to him, talking about our problems, and it would get better for a couple of weeks and then revert back to the same old thing. I guess after 7 years, I finally reached the point that I couldn't take it any more and that I deserved better, so I left. I left because of our incompatability and always worrying about doing the wrong thing, but I did meet someone else in the last couple of months of my marriage. Cheating is wrong, and I'm dealing with some guilt over having done that, but I don't regret my decision to leave. I'm not sure if I'll be with the other man in the future, but I'm glad that I met him because he helped me to realize that I wasn't being treated right by my husband and to be strong enough to leave.
2006-09-07 15:17:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be regettable if you had the affair for sex only. You are about to trash a relationship based upon a quickie situation. I have been through it. Work out the marriage, figure out why the affair happened and fix that problem before you trash the marriage. The person involved in the affair is never who they were after you commit to them.
2006-09-07 14:44:15 · answer #4 · answered by Jim from the Midwest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it happens and when it finally hits you, it's too late to go back. Even if you do go back, things are never the same. Forgiveness is easy, forgetting is not. If you're the one who cheated and left and are regretting it, you're not alone. Just face the future and don't dwell on the past. And don't become a stalker. That really sux.
2006-09-07 14:47:01 · answer #5 · answered by smith6969_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did and I never looked back. The affair lasted only a few months after separation.
2006-09-07 14:54:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I regret getting married. I think i got married too soon. Maybe I just jumped into it. I regret that all these years later I am still married. And I regret being too weak to actually do something about it.
2006-09-07 14:50:15 · answer #7 · answered by Lyrical Goddess 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a person who did that, but my husband did &
HE DOES NOT regret it . He said that yes it was a hard thing to go through, but @ least now he has a happy marriage ( w/ me, wife # 2) , we have been married
9 years now & he knows that he can trust me & not
have to worry like he use to do w/ his ex wife when
they were still married .
Hope this helps & good luck to you
2006-09-07 14:49:01 · answer #8 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
People that have affairs, people who cheat don't have a right to happiness at all in my own opinion. I don't care what type of rationalizations people can come up with to justify cheating.
Cheating is cheating - it is bad karma, and no good, healthy relationship can possibly come from a cheating romp. And it doesn't take to be a rocket scientist to know that.
2006-09-07 14:47:06 · answer #9 · answered by elnyka 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they regret having the affair or they regret the marriage or the divorce?
2006-09-07 14:43:39 · answer #10 · answered by ilovedragonflies6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋