Would you be mad?

Question

My boyfriend and I haven't been able to spend a whole lot of time together here lately because of our work schedules. We finally get time to set a date and we plan a dinner date and a trip to the mall and maybe a movie... I was so excited about this until this morning he told me he had invited his grandmother to go out to dinner with us... I was furious.. I said why couldn't you take her out on your days off while I am working (next two days he is off) He gets upset and sais fine!! I'll just tell her you don't want her to come along... I would never want to hurt this womans feeling for anything but I don't think it is right he is bringing her along... Am I being selfish?? or rude? because he thinks I am.. and what would you do?

This woman went with us the last few dates we have had...... GRRR

This woman gets very jealous of me spending time with him because we have talked about marriage and he lives with her and if we got married she would live alone... I don't see anything wrong with doing something with her but the last few times we have gone out she has joined us and everytime i go to his house she is there so we have more than met each other.

She is joining us for the WHOLE envening

Answer 1

I usually have the same problem, fiance works alot and then comes his day off and I would like to spend it with just him, and he turns around and invites his mom or uncle. At first I am mad, and I know I am being selfish, but I wonder how he could do that I thought he knew this was going to be special for me. Most of the time I would just like him to ask me first before he invites them so I don't look like the bad person, but since he don't do that I have to let them come, which at first I am mad and feeling like you were, but often times it becomes better than I thought it would be and when it don't turn out good, I just think that someday they aren't gonna be around, like them or not, and there will always be days to come where it will just be me and him. It is being selfish but what could the man expect, I would feel the same way being that it was all planned out and set. and he has 2 days off. But what can you do now? If you call it off you won't go out at all and if you just tell him to tell her no then she'll have hurt feelings, and if you go grandma's coming too. But is she just going out to dinner or is she doing everything with you guys? If she's just going out to dinner, don't make a fuss, then tell your boyfriend that it's okay but you would really like to drop her off after dinner and finish the date alone.

Answer 2

There are several ways that you could look at this: 1st your point of view is that you want to spend time alone with your boyfriend cause you hardly do that as is and now his grandmother is coming along for the ride and i think that you have every right to be disappointed because you love him and you want to spend time with him since you barely see one another. I know how you feel but.................
In his defense, he invited his grandmother along. He probably didn't think that you would mind and he was probably trying to show his grandmother that you are the woman in his life kinda like a lets get to know each other. Granted he could have asked her on a night he was off but he asked her to come with the 2 of you for a reason. Just think about it. Apparently, he loves you enough to want to spend time with his 2 favorite ladies. Don't be mad at him. He is a guy trying to do the right thing even if didn't turn out the way he wanted it to. Besides, she is his family and I don't know if it came down to it that he would choose you over his grandmother. Don't test him either ok. Word of Wisdom. I hope it all works out for the 2 of you.

Answer 3

No you are not being rude. He would be if he said to his grandmother that you do not want to spend time with her. He should recognize your feelings and know that this day was set aside for you and him to have together and explain that to his grandmother and set up another day to spend with her and explain that you would like that too but this is your time alone because you and him haven't had time to spend with each other. Most grandmothers would understand that rather than a rude remark saying you do not want to spend time with her. You are not being selfish or rude! Guys sometimes do not understand this they get caught up with so much they do not stop and think. Hang in there and keep communicating with him do not clam up or it will get worse. Eventually they will get it. It just takes time!

Answer 4

Yes you are being selfish this is a time you need to spend with his family cause you could learn more about your boyfriend and his family. The more you know about his family the more the family will love you.
Be glad that he thought of it maybe it is his way of saying I want to spend a lot more time with you but he also wants you to know his family.
You can always replan alone time for another time but enjoy the time you have now with him even with grandma.
Maybe this is the only time grandma can get out and enjoy herself too so go along and enjoy the evening or day.
Bet ya grandma will enjoy it too.
If my grandma was still alive I would invite her like I remember we did when I was little.

Answer 5

You have reason to be dissappointed, more than upset, as you expected your time to be alone "together." And not shared with anyone.... grandma or not.

It would of been nice if he asked if you mind.... but its also endearing that he actually considers his grandma enough to even take her along, its also swee that he doesnt mind having 2 of his special ladies in his company at the same time.

Instead of being reactive, be proactive... where something semi seductive, and when grandmas not looking, flash him, or make a sexy wink, pass him a dirty note, or anything of the sorts.

He'll be bring Grandma back home, way before the 10pm news.

Be nice-nasty!

That's what I would do.... good luck.

Answer 6

I would be mad to at a point. Is that all she is doing is going to dinner with you two? Or is she joining you two to go to the mall and movies? I wouldn't mind dinner but everything else ahh i would mind. Sometime things just don't work out like you want them to. Maybe next time your guys will get some quiet time. Hey maybe he has something in store for you. I wouldn't get to mad about it. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Its only natural to want to spend time with your man alone...the more the merrier. I can see y he would want to bring his grandmother along as well maybe she is lonely and he feels bad leaving her alone but what you have to relise is this. You two are younger than her, you have the rest of your life to be with your man if your talkin about marrige. Let him spend as much time with her as he like yes it will hurt but imagine how he will fell when he cant spend time with her and imagine how you will feel after for making a big stink over it... Life is to shorts to be jealous of a family member try to get along with her and ask her to do things with you maybe you bond better and things will be easier for you to handle.. good luck!!

Answer 8

i do understand your point, but lets look at his...maybe he really likes you alot & is so proud to have you as his girl that he wants you to bring you around his family so they can get to know you too.i've found that when i can show up for my mans family & just participate & go along for the ride,it really helps him to respect me,he gets to see a side of me he rarely gets to see, a time when not EVERYTHING is all about me. remember the whole world doesnt revolve around you.call him back & let him him know that even w/grandma in tote you will be there for him. the truth is you dont have any idea what the situation is like from his point of view. maybe his grandma guilted him into it & was hoping you would make it easier by being with him.who knows?

Answer 9

Well, I do sympathize with you. I to have a boyfriend that is close with his family and sometimes when it's just suppose to be us he brings his sister or cousin along. I used to get so mad. But know I realize that this is just a chance to get to know his family better and I 'm just so happy to see him that I don't even care anymore. try and think of it this way. maybe this is his way of getting his familys approval of you. try not tobe selfish after all he is trying to make an effort to see you and spend a little time with his grandmother. sounds like a sweet guy to me.

Answer 10

You're not being selfish at all. I think I would be upset too, if he brought his grandmother along. Go out for dinner with her drop her off and then go do something solo. Don't ruin your night with your guy.