2006-09-07 07:16:15 · 14 answers · asked by paco 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If it is your visitation then you shuold be able to decide what you do.
2006-09-07 07:20:07 · answer #1 · answered by momof3isme 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your question sort of depends on what type of activities you are talking about. If it's something the kids enjoy doing, then go...you are doing it for them. I guess look at it this way: If you and your ex were still married, would the children be involved in these activities? And if so, would you attend? Probably so. The idea of divorce when it comes to children, is to maintain their lives and keep them as normal as possible. If this was the norm before the divorce, then by all means, keep the arrangement. If she's just doing it to be a pain in the butt on the other hand, dont' take them, and plan some activities of your own. It's your visitation and you have the right.
2006-09-07 14:37:53 · answer #2 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what activities you are talking about and what kind of visitation you have. If the activities are pre-planned (ball practice, ect) try to change your visitation schedule so there is no conflict. If you have supervised visitation, you may not have much of a say. If not, you and your children should decide what you do together on your visit time. If there is no court order against it, I suggest taking the kids away from home so it's just you and them. They need alone time with you.
2006-09-07 15:01:26 · answer #3 · answered by Debbie D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on what kind of activities you are talking about. If she plans outings with the kids that cut into your time, you need to talk to her and let her know that that is unacceptable and that you will no longer tolerate it - let her know that you will pick the kids up at the agreed upon time and that if she is not there, you will be taking her back to court.
If, however, you are talking about extracurricular activities that your kids are involved in that they have to go to when they are with you, then you have no right to complain. They are doing something they enjoy and that is important to them, and you should make it a point to be a part of it.
2006-09-07 14:45:53 · answer #4 · answered by thersa33 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is there a court order involved? Selfishness is not an issue if she's doing it in violation of a court ordered schedule. If you don't assert your rights, it could be used to show that visitation is not important to you.
Beyond that, it will interfere with you relationship with your children. Besides the social aspect of it, your kids need to see you as an authority figure and look to you for guidance. That can't happen if your ex is in charge of everyone's schedule.
2006-09-07 14:22:03 · answer #5 · answered by Pepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is not selfish of you. It is important that you have a unique roll in your children's life. They need it as well. I'm not sure what your relationship is like with your ex, but if you're on decent ground, sit down with her and have a heart-to-heart. Steer clear of becoming defensive, and focus on your interest in investing personal time with the kids. If she can see your sincerity, she'll want what's best for her children too. Good Luck.
2006-09-07 15:02:48 · answer #6 · answered by ArbonneAdvertising 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that day is ur visitation day
That means its your day alone with the kids and you have a right to do things with them and make plans yourself
its not right that ur ex wife is making the plans for you and taking that moment away from you and yes she is selfish to do that when its your day
and no its not selfish for you to ask her to stop planning the day when its ur day to plan
you need to sit down with her and talk to her in a mature way a let her know that she should stop planning thngs for u and the chldren on your time
2006-09-08 06:35:47 · answer #7 · answered by Cat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is a regularly scheduled activity like soccer practice or lessons, then you just have to suck it up and deal with it.
If she is planning leisure activities, why in the hell are you doing whatever she says? Grow some balls.
2006-09-07 15:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are on talking terms with her, ask why she is doing it.
You really don't have to stick to that schedule, it is your time. Make your own schedule together with your kids.
Sorry I believe the questions was is she selfish? I would probable say that she is trying to get revenge for sometime. Only you would know about that.
2006-09-07 14:25:12 · answer #9 · answered by ???///??? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, let me commend you on taking an interest in your children. You should go through the courts to have court-ordered visitation. Then if she doesn't comply, then you can report it and she will be in contempt. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-09-07 14:41:45 · answer #10 · answered by huskygirl74 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I suggest that you talk to her now. You should take the kids out for treats...quality time, not stay at your ex's house...spend time alone with them..they need concentrated attention from you, and that should NOT be shared by her...She is pulling a nasty one on you, and you know it. Good luck
2006-09-07 14:19:57 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋