Any childfree here at Yahoo Answers? What is your reason for being childfree? Do you enjoy it? Do you get a lot of pressure to produce a child? How do you resist pressure? What are your responses to being "bothered?" How has your family/friends reacted? Do you think tax breaks for the childed are unfair? Are you childfree by choice or not? Do you like kids? Does the sound of a baby crying/being fussy/screeching bother you? Do you find pregnancy repulsive, and does the thought turn you off?
Detailed responses from fellow childfree would be much appreciated!
2006-09-07 07:10:36 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well, the big reason I've never had kids is because I just got married last October. Call me picky, but I wanted to be married first. :)
The reason I don't think I will have children is because I've never had the urge to. I figure that I should leave the baby making to people have a burning desire to do it. It seems silly to have a child because "It's just what your supposed to do after you get married." I mean, what am I, some bread of animal that mates for life that I'm just "supposed" to squeeze a kid out because I'm paired off now?
I don't think I've ever heard my biological clock tick once in my 34 years. The truth is I don't want to make the sacrifices I feel a person should to be a good parent. And, YES, crying babies and screaming kids grate on my nerves.
For the most part it isn't that I don't like kids. I have 7 nieces and a nephew and I like them all just fine. I can also give them back when they get to being obnoxious, well most of the time. :)
I don't love the idea of being pregnant it sounds darn uncomfortable and pretty unpleasant all in all. Then comes that part about squeezing something the size of a bowling ball out an opening that starts out the size of a pea. No thanks.
FORTUNATELY, I have all those nieces and nephews. That seems to have taken the pressure off of us from our parents. We actually, get more pressure from total strangers when the subject comes up.
I've found that most people look at me as if I have grown a second head or have "666" emblazened on my forhead when I say I don't want kids. Mostly, I just tell people the truth I just got married and I don't think kids are for me. I'll leave it to the people who KNOW they want them.
If someone gets really pushy and says things like, "Oh, kids are great and you'll change your mind once you have ones of your own." I just say, "If I have one and your wrong and I'm right and I don't want it, can I have your home phone number and address so you can adopt it and rasie it."
See, people who refer to children as "it" probably shouldn't be having them.
I also, like telling them that I know all this, "Kids are the best thing EVER!!" talk is really just a ploy to get me to join their sick, miserable, little club. I know misery loves company and I'm not being tricked into joining. Most people will laugh at that. Most people. :)
2006-09-07 07:35:28 · answer #1 · answered by nick91171 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
What is your reason for being childfree?
I considered having a child, but should have chosen a better husband.
Do you enjoy it?
Seems to be a lot less hassle, but sometimes it's sort of lonely too.
Do you get a lot of pressure to produce a child?
Not anymore! I'm 35, and it took me almost two years to get divorced. Divorce is a real "when are you gonna" deterrent.
How do you resist pressure?
If you're husband is addicted to meth, that will kill your maternal instincts, in a flash.
What are your responses to being "bothered?"
I used to giggle and say "we'll see", or "I'm not done growing up yet!" After a while it gets pretty darned annoying. So, I switched to "Y'know that's a really personal question. Did it ever occur to you that I may not be capable of pregnancy?"
How has your family/friends reacted?
Well, they used to be pushy. Divorce and age 35 stops all of that.
Do you think tax breaks for the childed are unfair?
Nope. It's downright expensive to raise a kid. All expenses that I'm not incurring. I get tax breaks for my healthcare, etc. I think it's probably fair.
Are you childfree by choice or not?
Partly my choice. Thought it would only be fair to my children if the father and I were married. I waited until I was 30 to get married, so that I'd be sure to stay married. He and I had been together 10 years before we decided to get married. I found out that husband was a meth addict 8 months after the wedding, but he actually started acting like a complete terd maybe 3 months after the wedding. So, I chose to wait to get married, insisted on marriage if there were to be children, and chose not to get pregnant after I married, even though I had said I would.
Do you like kids?
Love kids. Everybody I know says I would have made a great mom. Lucky to know people who have kids that I can "borrow"!
Does the sound of a baby crying/being fussy/screeching bother you?
No. It bothers me when the parents screech, scream, and holler at their kids. That's just bad parenting.
Do you find pregnancy repulsive, and does the thought turn you off?
Yeah. Pretty much. But, all the moms tell you the horror stories, and then they all tell you how "worth it" it is.
2006-09-07 07:50:04 · answer #2 · answered by niffer's mom 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Let me clear something up first. I have read a lot of the other answers and there is something that people aren't understanding. If you want kids in the future, you are NOT childfree, you are child*less*. If you want kids but can't have them, that is child*less*. If you want kids but haven't found the right man, again, that is childLESS. You are only childFREE if you don't have nor want any children, ever. That said, all childfrees are childfree by choice.
That said, Hiya! I'm one of the childfrees. I just never wanted children. Never had that urge, never felt maternal. (Don't anyone here tell me I will change my mind; I am 35 lol)
I haven't gotten any pressure to have a child. My family and friends are fine with it, and if they weren't, that would be THEIR problem, not mine! lol My parents are happy with their "grand dog" and "grand cat".
Tax breaks for the childed don't bother me. Some of my taxes go toward my town's public schools; that I don't mind either, because if I invest in the schools, the quality of education will go up, and as a result the children that *do* go to the schools will be better-prepared to go into the real world.
I love kids. They're great. Infants cry and are fussy, it's a fact, but it never bothers me. I feel bad for the bebe and wonde what they would say that they need if they could talk!
I find pregnancy fascinating. It's amazing what our bodies can do!
Okay, I think that's it!
2006-09-07 07:21:36 · answer #3 · answered by Demon Doll 6 · 10⤊ 0⤋
I do have a child. Don't want anymore, no matter how much my son whines to have a sister. I still get pressured into having another one and no way, no how will I do it. People think we get this huge tax break with kids and honestly is really nothing. I've spent up to $6000 in child care a year and all I get to discount from my taxes is a measle $600. Then yeah, I get the extra $500. Really piddly money. My husband and I were married for 7 years before having a child and we did everything and went everywhere so now we are revisiting those places with my son he is almost 7. Yes, I was tired of the fussiness, changing diapers, crying and having to get up in the morning, but all that is done and over. Kids do grow up fast and I can't believe its been 7 years already, so that time came and went. Would I do it again? No way jose.
2006-09-07 07:22:42 · answer #4 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 5⤊ 0⤋
No children as of yet. Do not care to have any. I'm under 30 and am not yet at a point where having a child is the responsible thing to do. I do like kids well enough (as long as they go home w/their parents after I'm done playing w/them =D) and if I get pregnant by accident, I will keep it and do my best, but I am certainly not going to go out of my way to have one. There are enough people popping the little suckers out without consideration for the child's future. I wouldn't say that tax breaks are unfair, but people take advantage of the system, which is unfair. I think a child screeching and fussing bothers EVERYONE, and no pregnancy is not repulsive or a turn-off (except for people who think it's a good idea to have multiples of children no matter whether they can take care of them or not). Sometimes I think that it would be a good thing for an IQ test to be conducted on people (like a drivers test) to see if they are able to raise a child properly (it's an evil little dream of mine....)
2006-09-07 07:31:43 · answer #5 · answered by stillatello 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'm 25 and I'm childfree. I'm also husband/boyfriend free.
I'm single and that's how I prefer it right now. I don't think even if I get married some day that I will have kids. Kids just aren't my thing!
No one pressures me to have kids.
Tax breaks for people with kids are fine. I guess I've never thought about it, really. I'm sure it's expensive to raise a child so I don't have a problem with them.
Not everyone is meant to be a parent!
2006-09-07 07:23:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
33, maried (wife is 26) and no children, except our cat.
Yes, I do enjoy it, to me, it's like freedom. All of our friends, her sisters and brother, and my brother, all have kids. And to watch how much of a chore it is to try and get anything done, go anywhere when they are around with their kids, makes our 10 minute decision to do anything pretty damn cool. (also, we can take a 3 day vacation, or whatever, at the blink of an eye, whereas they all have to consider what to do with the kids.)
Yes, we get pressure from my family a lot about having kids. Not so much from hers. But I just blow it off. I tell them that when we are ready, we will have kids. Were just enjoying our time together and our freedom.
Tax breaks aren't unfair in my opinion. Watching them raise their kids, those tax breaks aren't enough for what they go through.
childfree by choice!
I love kids! Especially when their not mine and they start misbehaving, I can send them back to their parents and not have to deal with it.
Nope, babies crying and whatnot is kinda cool. So long as it's not 4am and keeping me awake.
Someday we will have kids, if not our own, then we will adopt. Just right now, were not ready.
Just hang in tight.... if your not ready for kids yet, don't let anyone pressure you into having them. That's the worse time to have kids, when you don't want them but someone else does. Just enjoy your freedom, your chance to pick up and take a vacation without having to worry about anything. When the time is right, you will know. And if you never want to have kids, that's cool too. There are plenty of people out there having plenty of their own.
2006-09-07 07:19:31 · answer #7 · answered by Kevin J 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have one child (8 years old), but I actually get some of the same reactions you do. I got "fixed" after my son was born because I didn't ever want to be pregnant again. I like kids, but it doesn't mean I want to raise a bunch of them. I'm always being asked "why don't you want anymore?" and I've just started saying "because that's my choice". Babies are fun to play with, but I now have no patience for the fussiness and such either, even after having a child. I still get pressure from other people, but I know what's best for me.
I think that if you don't feel the need to be a parent, all the power to you. Different things are good for different people. I applaud you for sticking to your choices.
2006-09-07 07:20:13 · answer #8 · answered by Andi 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am an impatient man by nature. I like to fly by the seat of my pants. I live in the spurt of the moment. Sometimes my fiance and I will pick up and go away for the weekend. She doesn't want children either.
I don't mind children, but like I said I'm impatient and I know that. I couldn't deal with all the whining, the diaper changing, the feeding, the $$$$$$$ etc. Nobody pressures me into producing a child because everyone that knows me, knows how I am.
My family (especially my mom) has accepted the fact that her only grandchildren have been produced by my older sister. Kids just aren't for me.
2006-09-07 07:15:35 · answer #9 · answered by bad_dog76 5 · 7⤊ 0⤋
34 and no children, although I would love to have one or two children someday I guess it just isn't in the cards, and no there is no pressure from my family, although I would say I think it is different for males than it is for females I know that that is not the case, my sister is 35 and she doesn't have any children either and nobody in my family pressures her about it either, and what would be the point of pressuring a family member to have children anyways? I'd eventually get ticked off and say if you want one that bad then go have one yourself, like I said though I would love to have children but I just don't think it is going to happen, you also kind of have to have someone else in your life in order to do that, especially if you are male
2006-09-07 07:18:08 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋