I have been married for almost 3 years and its been a very rocky road ~ my husband stopped drinking in Nov of last year we joined a church things were going good for us ~ yesterday I went to get my daughter from school and when I returned home my husband was gone! I mean gone... he had packed things of importance paper items bathroom items most of his clothes and some of his shoes~~ He has not called me or contacted me in anyway ~ no note~~ I dont know what went wrong ~~ any advice?
2006-09-07 07:09:59 · 17 answers · asked by Mellissa M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's wonderful he quit drinking. However, it will take a lot longer to end the relationship he had with alcohol. He might have relapsed and does not wish to hear the judgements made by do-gooders on all his failure points. Just as God takes us back with no questions or conditions, we should try to do the same. He will come back, but say nothing. Just love him and welcome him home with actions not words. We all need love, this is your chance to be a true friend, cristian, wife. Remember, just as you judge you will be judged. Pick up the pieces in a joyful manner. You are not better than him, you and he are one. Even if he comes back to you, remember it may happen again. As many times it takes, will bring out a true friendship and marriage. He ran because he loves you and cannot accept his failure at the moment. Be there for him.
2006-09-07 07:34:13 · answer #1 · answered by toucheddeeply 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my lord! This is awful!!! It is beyond me how anyone can be such a coward. I'm sorry.
Obviously you can't fix something when you don't know what's the matter with it. Call your family and friends if you haven't already done so, you need all the support you can get. Do you have anyone who could come stay with you, or have you stay with them, for a few days? Being alone is one of the worst things in such situations. Try to get someone to help you get your finances in order a.s.a.p. - figure out the bills that need to be paid, take his name off of your credit cards. Do what you can to keep yourself together, for your sake and your daughter's.
A similar thing happened to my dad in his first marriage - he was away on a business trip for a few days, and when he came back home, the house was completely empty - his wife packed everything up and moved to another city to live with her parents; she took their son, too; it was completely unexpected. I didn't even know this had happened until I myself was going through a divorce, and this was when my dad told me. What he was trying to convey is that everyone goes through painful experiences in their lifetime; but we all reocver in time, and find ways to be happy again. My dad later married my mom, they've been married for 33 years and have two kids.
Best wishes.
2006-09-07 14:32:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is a bright side to this mess...you have found out what kind of coward you were married to rather early in the marriage...take advantage of it, call a lawyer, start proceedings NOW, sue for child support big time. You owe it to your child to protect her. AS for him, he has probably fallen off the wagon, ran instead of confronting the issue...again, count yourself lucky. You do not need to live with a drunk. There is a world waiting for you with open arms...but you are the one who has to step into the sun to enjoy it. And you did nothing wrong, you just married a person who was different than you had been led to believe. Good luck and love in life.
2006-09-07 14:42:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for you. Wow - I can't imagine being in your place right now. Can you try to locate him through his job? His parents? Any of his friends? After 48 hours file a missing persons report with the police & see what they say. Or hire a private investigator. Be strong for your daughter. Good luck - I hope things turn out well . . .
2006-09-07 14:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by pumpkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just needed a day or so to sort out his life, and see where to go from here.Even though you lived with him ,as man and wife, you never know what's going on in someone's head. He will be back, just give him a day or two. I know it hurts like crazy, I've been there , but try not to let it make you sick. You have to be there for your daughter. God will give you the strength. Best of luck....sorry you're hurting so!
2006-09-07 14:17:21 · answer #5 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he was living a lie and decided to give it up. This must be really hard--sorry. My advice is to forgive (because it's good for you), wish him well wherever he is (again, for your benefit--not his), and start moving on. Even if he came back, you can never fully trust him again. In some ways this seems worse to me than cheating.
2006-09-07 14:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by Pepper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very hard i'm sure but you gotta move on...Don't sit around waiting for him...And you got to remember you have a child to think of so you have to be strong...Do what you have to do for you and your lil girl...Life doesn't stop just because that @sshole left....Move on...Be happy you still have your lil girl
2006-09-07 15:20:47 · answer #7 · answered by ?Whiskey Girl? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow cant help u. Thats sucks! When u get in touch with him there better b some serious talking going on.
2006-09-07 14:12:46 · answer #8 · answered by **What??** 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he couldn't hold up to the lie he was living and he didn't want to hurt you by sticking around, what he doesn't realize is that he still hurt you. So Sorry for your pain.
2006-09-07 14:19:05 · answer #9 · answered by Celeste P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well just wait a couple of days if hes a real man and cares about you two hell call or come by. sorry to hear that
2006-09-07 15:13:35 · answer #10 · answered by dog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋