Should infidelity be abolished as ground for Divorce?

Question

Yesterday I saw a program on TV that got me thinking. Its a couple who are very comfortable and not jealous that the man and the women see other people. They are still in love.

Given that in some countries divorce is very high and higher than 50% of marriages, and that divorce is so painful for the people and the children involved. Would we not be a happier people if we accepted infidelity (which seems to be quite natural for humans, given the amount of divorces because of it) rather than fight it?

I am sure this would need training on our part, but we train for a lot of things. I mean, even walking down a New York street needs training. Think about what would happen if you had to take a New York street and put it in the middle of IRAN or some other fanatically muslim country. The cultural clash would be horrific.

Is being so touchy about infidelity cultural as well?

Does it make sense to be so hurt with infidelity if it seems so natural?

Thanks for all the great answers. We need more effort to understand one another in this world.

Answer 1

Marriage is a commitment to that one person... ONE... key word........... Now let me get on my soap box: marriage is sacred. marriage is not something to do faint of heart. It's a promise you make to that ONE (there's that word again) person to stand with them/beside them at all times. It's giving yourself to that ONE person, both physically and mentally. Instead of training ourselves to tolerate cheating, we should be training ourselves to realize how much meaning a marriage has. (Instead of a night at vegas, or "I want the ring" or "if it doesn't work out we can just get divorced". If we would move back to the family unit.. or at least closer to knowing and believing in commitment and morals, I think the divorce rate would be drastically lowered. Instead of looking for ways to accept poor, disrespectful actions, we should be looking on how to STOP it. there.... off my soap box:-)

Answer 2

First off, one doesn't need a "reason" for divorce; "his feet smell" can be just as much of a ground for divorce as "he cheated on me". Second - yes, it's cultural; but certain ways and beliefs are so ingrained into our culture that it would be a heck of a thing to change. Which isn't to say that things can't change - they have been, slowly. A lot of stereotypes and prejudices concerning sex, gender, religion, race and whatnot are lessened or gone compared to just a hundred years ago. So yeah, who knows what the standards will be a hundred years from now.

Answer 3

What you seem to deem as "natural" is not so accepting to others. Every marriage is different. Our vows talk about Fidelity and monogamy. Just because one married couple can accept their spouse having sex with someone else does not mean it would be accepting to another couple. Should we accept certain forms of abuse (say, emotional) so it would lower the divorce rate? You speak of divorce and how it hurts the children. Do you have any idea how painful it is to grow up in an unhappy household?

Answer 4

My question is does it make sense to just accept that ppl have no control over themselves and just go out and cheat for the hell of it? It takes work to make a marriage work as well as anything else in this world. I agree we are trained for many things, but ppl need to be trained for the right things. Like working on their marriages, instead of helping ppl get away with being morally wrong. I'm very touchy about infedelity, because its not acceptable in the least. Ppl just look for the easy way out. And you don't love someone if you feel its necessary to go out and be with others. Everyone needs to man and woman up enough and say "hey, today I'm going to give it my all in my marriage and quit taking the easy way out." Thats what everyone needs.

Answer 5

If two people get married and agree to the same vows of being faithful to each other than that is the way it should stay. If one person decides to stray and the other does not than it should be grounds for divorce. Otherwise why bother to get married in the first place.

Answer 6

No, don't know where you live but in NY there aren't enough grounds for divorce....like financial irresponsibility should be one too. I had a very hard time getting away from my loser husband because he didn't cheat on me or beat the crap out of me.

Answer 7

No simply no.... Because once you go in front of the judge, God or whomever you are prclaiming your life to be with that one person forever. You are not saying that you wnat to be with that person and every one else. If that is the case why get married anyway?

Answer 8

Infidelity is always a crime,, and that is a crime against husband and wife and not only between lovers,, say bg and gf who did not even had the time to know each other before having sex
In US and other easther countries,,, sex, is sex.. in our country sex is sacred to most people beteen husband and wfe only...

Answer 9

first of all i dont appreciate your muslim insulting comments..and second of all u are ridiculous that would mena society would accept cheating what about those who are hapilly married (me and my husband) who would never cheat one ach other.... that should be grounds for divorce have u not thought about diseases and the spread of aids and unwanted pregnancies because of this infidelity......the more partners someone has the more chance for diseases occur. we need to fight it, you need to get off drugs.

Answer 10

one of the three biggest cons put over on mankind, politics,religion, marriage. marriage it self should be gotten rid of, no other mammal mates for life. kids are more traumatized by unhappy people staying together, they're not stupid and know when mom and dad are not happy.