Is it normal to be nervous with a planned pregnancy?

Question

My wife and I are planning our first child.

We have been together for 5 years, and are financially, mentally and emotionally ready to be parents.

I am looking forward to being a father and I am really excited it is finally happening.

We are going to start trying in January and every month that goes by I get more nervous.

I think when she actually does get pregnant I am going to have a panic attack.

Is it normal to get nervous about being a first time parent?

I feel like I did the first day of high school, excited but kind of scared!

Answer 1

aww so cute.. yeah i think you're perfectly normal. It's not like it's just a simple decision, its a huge step in life! I wish you both good luck, and dont be too nervous.. a panic attack isnt going to really do any good to anyone.

Answer 2

Hey dead dwarf...you need to go back and pick a "Best Answer" to your previous questions...it's only polite...lol

And to answer your current question...OF COURSE!!! You can "plan" all you want...but you're still venturing into the unknown!!

The best thing you can do..is arm yourself with as much information as possible. My husband was also very nervous at first ...and as graphic as the birthing class was and as descriptive as some of the books were...The "knowing" ...was comforting...

It's an exciting time...but it is also a stressful time...and it's perfectly understandable to have a panic attack..in fact ...I suspect that the pregnancy will only cause the first of many to come...just wait till the baby is here, and then when the toddler falls for the first time, or when the child takes off on their bike by themselves for the first time....there's plenty of panic in your future...it's normal. Lol.

Speaking for my husband and for myself...arming yourself with knowledge is the best defense against the panic.

Good luck!!

BTW, I agree with Lindsey Lavato - The sheer concern and interest that is apparently consuming you is an excellent sign...it's wonderful that you are so involved already and she hasn't even concieved yet. You'll be an excellent father...

Answer 3

My husband and I are expecting our second child by thanksgiving. At our last appointment, we had our 3D sonogram done and he was jumping up and down with excitement. Our first one was a different story. He barely showed any emotion at all. He has admitted to being nervous and for most first time dads that is how things are. Women are more likely to express their nervousness, doubts or any other emotion they may have and that, in return, does put more stress on the expecting father. Some dads even get nervous about the second or even third child. After a few months, once she conceives, and you hear that heartbeat or see your child on a sonogram monitor, your worries, may almost completely melt away. Fret not, everything will be fine. Good luck on all of your up coming adventures.

Answer 4

You sound like you'll be a very good dad,and their are so few of them.Mom will be moody with the change of hormones,weight gain and all of that.And of course their is the birth.You will need as much preparation for that as you will the baby.Be sensitive to her changes.That is key to your survival.[You think I am being funny...sorry]The thing is the second they hand you that precious little bundle you will melt in the floor.Mentally and Emotionally,You will never be prepared enough,I promise.I have an 8yr old daughter and a 13 yr. old son.Pray for patience.My son was an angel when he was a baby,but my daughter cried alot.So,you never know.Every baby is different.You will be fine.Mom will have to go through the most physically,your job will be just to be there for her.The fact that youre nervous tells me youll do fine.Theres nothing to be nervous about.This is a part of you and the woman you love,for the both of you to mold into someone great.When you become a father,dont rush anything.Everyday after your child is born will be a first for something and you dont want to miss it because you can never get it back.Listen to your child.Things that arent important to you are "Big Events" to your child.[catching a bug,school trip,car ride..simple things]Kisses and hugs,well you never get enough.Treasure them because when they get to a certain age,you want them and they think they are too old.Know they will break your heart at times,but not intentionally,they are just growing up.God Bless and Good luck and remember..Just breathe.Youll be fine.

Answer 5

My husband and I are in the same situation and yes, have felt the exact same way. Someone said to me that when a pregnancy is unexpected, you just deal with it and there isn't a whole lot of time for nervousness. But when it is planned, you've had allot of time to mull it over and sometimes thinking to much about it and also you have waited and waited for it, so you are definatly going to feel more nervous as the time gets closer. Like jumping out of a plane, it is better to just do it, because you will obviously get more nervous and maybe even back out if you think to much about it. Obviously when having a baby it is smart to be prepared, but having a baby is a huge step, especially your first, so I would say feeling this way is totally normal. By the way, I think my husband is terrified!!

Answer 6

You are so funny! I've read probably all your first time dad posts and think it's so cute...just have the baby already! Just kidding, do it when you are ready. Anyway as for being a first time parent planned or unplanned it's normal to be nervous. You are probably asking yourself all kinds of questions of how you are going to raise him/her...or what you are going to do when he/she is a troubled teen...silly questions that are important but aren't relevant yet...I did it too, it's not a bad thing. I'm glad you are putting so much thought into your child (even if he/she isn't even conceived yet) and I'm sure you'll be an excellent father! We need more men like you around who actually THINK! Good Luck!

Answer 7

Yes, it's normal to be nervous about such a life-changing experience, but please MAKE SURE that you take the advice of
"Mom of 1..." and get that book and also "What to expect the first year." They're both full of valuable info for both you and the mrs. I know it may sound silly now, but it's best if she AND YOU read them both... She's gonna be a bit of a wreck from going thru all the physical and emotional changes - mood swings, cravings, hormonal changes, etc... You'll be needed for some clearer thinking and may even help her to remember answers laid out in these books for solutions to problems that the 3 of you'll be going thru.
But, as a father of 3 beautiful daughters, I've got to tell you: You'll feel very different on the inside than how you do now... And that's a very good thing... You'll know what I mean when you first hold that first gift from God in your arms...! I'm very, very happy for you both...! Hope He blesses you with more...

Answer 8

I know how you feel. We were ready and when we first found out that I was pregnant we were like..OMG! Excited yes but alot of emotions took over. Now Im 32weeks and I feel scared, nervous and excited. My husband is excited but he's a little scared to about be a parent for the first time. Good luck to you and hope that it all works out well for you!

Answer 9

its OK to be nervous. But do not get to worked up. I am glad yo have waited until you are both ready, and I can tell you will be a great daddy. But keep in mind that just because you start to try in Jan. does not mean she will get pregnant right away. Sometimes it takes months. I am happy for you though. While you are waiting you can start your knowledge on everything. Check out:

http://www.babycenter.com

They also have a section for how guys feeling are.

just wait until the day your wife goes into labor. (my husband spilled orange juice all over because he was trying to shift fast and rush to the hospital. I ended up yelling at him for making me laugh so hard. Its hard to laugh while you are having strong contractions. )

Answer 10

It's normal to be nervous with ANY pregnancy as what your brain knows is that no matter how much planning you put into it, there's always the possiblity of chaos ensuing at one point or another.

But if it's something you both really want, then it's worth all the panic and nervousness. Good luck!