my husband and i have been married 13yrs and have split up 3 other times the last time there was a woman involved. every time he said that he did not love me and never did but we would always get back together the last time it was him coming to me telling me he had made a mistake and he loved me. now 3 1/2yrs later he says he doesn't love me again but that he does have feelings for me, but he doesn't love me. we have 2kids daughter12 son 9. i told himthis time i wasn't going to cry and beg to work things out cuz when we do get back together all i do is wonder if he really cares or if it is just convinient for him to stay with me. he has cheated several times in the last cpl yrs and i always forgive him but i just think that if i go back this time then it'll be the same crap all over again and i will at some point start questioning myself and his motives again. he admitted to staying with me cuz he didn't want to pay child support but says he doesn't think he could've lasted that long.
2006-09-07 05:32:52 · 13 answers · asked by pandorasbx007 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I am sorry to say but the best thing for u to do is to leave him be... ur only wasting your time, and i know you would rather be happy in a stable marriage. get out while ur still young. many people make the biggest mistake thinking that if u divorce ull be alone for the rest of ur life.. its not true. my grandpa left my grandma at like 40, maybe 50 years of age, and she found someone and is soo happy right now..
but remember that this is only hurting your kids more, because this will affect them greatly. watching my parents' instability has made me deathly afraid of marriage. im not saying itll affect them the same way, but its bad for them. and it would be better for them to go through a divorce than growing up to parents who are always fighting. i wish my parents would have divorced it would have been better for both me and my sibling, and for my mom as well..
and the fact that he cheated on u should be reason enough. he obviously doesnt love u as much as he says. people usually cheat when theres something missing in the relationship as well... its obviously not working, and u could be so much happier. and ur right, its gonna keep happening... u gave him a few chances, and he obviously keeps doing the same thing... if u wanna continue with this, stay.. if u want to try a better lifestyle, go for it. ull make better choices the second time around...
hope this helps, sorry its too long...
good luck and im sorry for the situation...
2006-09-07 05:53:20 · answer #1 · answered by DevilsKitty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honey get some strength within you and dump him don't sit there and tolerate the nonsense he is giving you and your kids you deserve better then this crap he stays because he doesn't want to pay child support oh hell no he better start looking for a place to sleep now left you and the kids seeing other Ho's no way and he can probably bring you back an STD i hope you got checked out tell him bye and see you in family court its not worth the headaches you have 2 kids to think about and you need all your strength for them not him and don't cry and beg him to stay you will get over him
2006-09-07 12:43:35 · answer #2 · answered by teresa d 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know it time, to kick himout and make sure that he does pay child support... because not fair for you to forgive him all the time he cheating on you. and he left you for other woman and it didn't worked out and want you back.. of course it called "Rebound" until he find other better one and go and back and forth.
Put a big STOP to it.....you are great mother, and care for the kids... it time to have him pay child support and get in divorce asap... If you don't it will be like this forever. and You can find a better man than him.... He not very bright about understanding about marriages. and He kept on going I love you and I don't love you anymore over and over...
So, take my word and first get divorce paper ready and then go to child support dept and then filled out all the information make sure you have his ssn and then it will be all set... then you give to him and if he won't leave the house better if you get R.O. v.s. so if you ahve it and he won't leave then you have proof to show the police to come and take him out. smiling.
So, do what best for you and your kids. than that jerk... I never be like him.. I have wife and 2 kids and 3rd on the way...If something wrong I always talk to my wife about this. and we solve it.. better than say I don't love you anymore and cheating and all that.
2006-09-07 13:08:11 · answer #3 · answered by greenbaypackers1920 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like this guys made his motives pretty clear to you by lying ,cheating and flat out telling you he doesn't want to pay child support. Do you really want to put yourself and your children through all that when YOU DON'T HAVE TO?! C'mon babe, you're better than that, and don't let him tell you otherwise. He wants you to think you need him, but you'll be better off without him. You know what you need to do, and it's going to be hard, but this is to make a better life for you and your children. Stay srong baby and everything will turn out alright! xoxoxo
2006-09-07 12:45:00 · answer #4 · answered by JULES 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a lawyer. Stay clear from this man. You do not need someone who treats you like this and he's a terrible example to your children. Do you want them to be in that kind of relationship when they are older?
2006-09-07 12:42:21 · answer #5 · answered by kewte_kewpie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont mean to sound rude, but he does this because YOU LET HIM!! Leave him-- you deserve someone who really wants to be with you, not just because he doesnt want to pay child support. You teach people how to treat you and he has been an *** because you let him. Get child support and leave his ***.
2006-09-07 12:41:18 · answer #6 · answered by whaaatthe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those who repeat the same action over and over, yet expect a different result are insane. If you want a different outcome try a different action.
2006-09-07 12:50:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once shame on him twice shame on you for going back for third
A billion guys looking for love and you want one who uses it
GET A LIFE
2006-09-07 12:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by aaricka 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is confused and immature! it sounds like every time he finds a new woman he puts you away like a christmas tree! i would say start over your kids need you and you cant be there fully in a bad emotional state.
2006-09-07 12:37:57 · answer #9 · answered by DUSTY 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u let him continue to do this it will most likely keep happening,have 2 think about ur kids seeing that he's not.
2006-09-07 13:05:18 · answer #10 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋