Why don't people take marriage more seriously now,is it the new way of society ?

Question

It seems if they don't like it they just get a divorce. What happened to commitment.

Answer 1

Marriage has lost its respect as an institution because somewhere along the way, people forgot to teach teenagers that marriage is not the sequel to sex. What I mean is that if a couple thinks they have good sexual chemistry and all those hormones are raging they think they've found the one. Unfortunately marriage is supposed to be a sequel to friendship. If more marriages were based on two people who care more about the other person than themselves then marriages would last and people would be happier. People have to start expecting the right thing out of marriage. It's not a way to keep that sexual rush going. Too many people think of marriage in the wrong way. The truth is, it's the ultimate friendship, and if you expect something else out of it you're going to be disappointed.

Marriage is seen as a negative these days because it's not being used for its actual purpose. For marriage to get a better name, people have to start seeing it as more of a friendship thing and less of a sexual thing. Although sex is important, friendship and caring are what makes a marriage last. Yes, marriage isn't taken very seriously anymore. Because too many people are getting into it for all the wrong reasons, with someone they don't actually love and someone who doesn't actually love them.

How do you know if someone loves you and can be in a marriage with you for the rest of your life? And how do you know who is the right one for you? Don't rely on the emotional feeling of excitment that tells you someone is "the one." That's hormones. That's a pretty good guarantee the marriage will crash when the sexual connection fades.

A friend emailed this to me a few years ago when I was dating a woman who was very wrong for me. I saved the list because I wanted to remember it. It's probably the best advice I ever got. I think it answers your question. Marriage should not be rushed into and you have to figure out if your feelings are mostly about sex or not, and think about who are you most likely to have a real relationship with. I like this test alot because it is a total eye opener. It makes you realize who in your life really loves you and who you probably love. It's also cool how the test makes you realize you probably already know or are around the woman you're gonna end up marrying.

The Marriage Counselor's Marriage Test
This test helps a man determine what really matters in a woman, and which one in his life is most likely to be "THE ONE". Think of all the women currently in your life. Think of the women you are dating and have dated. Think of the women you have been in relationships with who are still single and available to you. Think of the women you talk to at the grocery store, the cleaners, on the golf course, or in the park. Think of your female friends, work colleagues, and acquaintances. If you're a single man and want to marry, statistically it is likely you will eventually marry one of these women.


If you were in a coma, who would be the one that you know would be at your bedside long after the others had gone on with their lives?

If you were paralyzed and couldn't work, do any chores around the house, go out anywhere, or have sex, which one would be the most likely to still love you and stay with you?

If you were going through a difficult time at work and had negative emotions and moodiness, which one would most likely allow you plenty of space without selfishness or nagging?

If you were to lose your car, your home, and your savings which one would be most willing to stay with you and help you build your life again?

If you were sterile and couldn't have children, which one would be least likely to bring up the subject again or make you to feel guilty?

If your parents became disabled and needed to live with you, who do you think would be most likely to accept them into your home and treat them with care and dignity?

If you had children with one of the women you know, and eventually became divorced, which one would you trust the most to raise your children right?

If you could only have one woman to take to every sporting event, every outing, and every event for the rest of your life which one would you have the most fun with?

If you had children with one of the women you know, which one would your children be least likely to wonder why you married her?

Which one makes you laugh hardest?

Who do you talk with the most?

Which one is the most interested in the same things you love, the same places you like to go, the same activities you like to do?

When you're shopping for souvenirs, who is the one you constantly keep thinking she'd love this?

When you're experiencing something new or interesting, who is the first one to come into your mind that you wish you could share it with?

At the end of a hard day at work, who would you rather unload your day's frustrations on, knowing she'll listen and care?

At the end of a night with the boys or an event where she isn't with you, which one would you prefer to come home to and share your adventures of the day?

When you learn something new, make a big discovery, or accomplish something exciting, who is the first person you think of telling?

If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would make your days pass more quickly because you were having so much fun together?

If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would you like to have lying next to you looking up at the stars?

If you were stranded on a deserted island for one year, which one would be most likely to cheerfully adapt to the situation and contribute to your survival?

When you go to bed at night, who is the last one you usually find yourself calling?

If you committed a felony crime, who would you be most likely to tell?

If each of the women you know were being mistreated by another man, which one would you feel most protective of?

Which one would be most likely to discourage you from spending too much on her, and would want you to save your money?

Which one would be most likely to accept that you couldn't afford the car she wanted, the house she wanted, the vacation she wanted, or the luxuries she wanted?

Which one is most likely to accept your flaws and find ways to make you feel comfortable about them?

If you had Alzheimer's disease and couldn't communicate your needs anymore, which one would be most likely to bring you the new CD of your favorite music artist or new movies she knows you would enjoy?

If you were blind, who would you trust the most to take care of you, make sure you had everything you want and need, and never let you feel helpless?

If you were blind, whose voice would you most want to hear for the rest of your life?

If you became impotent, which one would be the least likely to betray you in spite of her own physical desires?

If you became impotent, which one would it sadden you most to know is no longer able to have a physical relationship?

If you had a child from a previous marriage, which one would be the most likely to be loving, attentive, and accepting of your child as her own?

Which woman would be least likely to criticize and try to change your hair, clothes, car, house or apartment, pets, or friends.

If you were forced to cheat on every woman you know, except you could spare one woman from that pain, which one could you not allow yourself to hurt in this way?

If you were on a roller coaster right now, who is the first person coming to mind that you would want to experience it with you?

Which one is the most likely to be concerned about your well-being and tell you when you're doing something that could hurt you?

Which one would your family most likely say is the perfect woman for you?

If you were to die tomorrow, which one would be most likely to remember to take care of your pets?

If you were to die tomorrow, which one would be most likely to cry the hardest and cry the longest?

If you were to die tomorrow, which one would you most trust as a speaker at your wake to best communicate to everyone the value of you and your life?

Which one would be most likely to visit your grave on your birthday every year and leave something she thought you would like or that she thought would make you laugh?

Which one do you wish you could hear what she was saying when she was alone at your grave so you could know how she really felt about you?

Answer 2

People are so busy working and dealing with the stress of our society and all that when marriage becomes a strain, we know that is one problem we have control over and do so.

I think we are missing the real point of marriage, but it is a two way street and normally one person is off the road and in a ditch.

I would love to get married some day, but between daily life, I am less and less optimistic.

Since men and women are somewhat equal, no dependancy exist and therefore no effort is being made to work on the relationship.(this can open an entire discussion)

Answer 3

I think its just too easy to get divorced now. People don't take their commitment seriously. Its just alot of words they say to each other. When things start going downhill the first thing that comes to mind is divorce. I know some states have a "cooling off period", maybe more states should consider doing this. When my Mom & Dad were married, divorce was almost unheard of, now its the thing to do if you don't get along. Different generations I guess, but I find it very sad.

Answer 4

Have you ever visited a small town and looked at the married people they are committed The big city gives so much permission to look at marriage different. Raised with love and no divorce is not unusual in my life 35 years and counting
I live in LA the norm is 2 years and yelling Big city or small town or smaller state it is way of life different
The other is a marriage vow in a church without the couple being part of a church (divorce). or that with a higher power. Without divorce

Answer 5

Divorce is the easy way out for some people
to correct a mistake they have made.
I hung in a 16 yr lie, because I made a committment, Because I had children with this liar!
I was tired of being abused that is why I am divorced.
People need to know who it is they are marrying before making that commitment. I am all for long engagments. I got married because I got pregnant.

Answer 6

People are just too busy in their lives to take a look at whats really important. If they did they would try to work it out and realize what they really wanted. Too many people get married for the wrong reasons and then they just have the mindset as to who cares, we can just get divorced. When I got married it was to a man I love and care for and knew that we would have a loving relationship and raise our kids together. When things get tough we work through it. Not enough people do that. They'd rather just not care and get divorced.

Answer 7

I asked myself the same question!! Its just what the world has come to now! Everyone wants to be like someone else they see not themselves anymore so it ruins relationships!! I dont think anyone should get married nowadays cuz of the divorce rates!! Have u seen them! Dang!! Plus its mostly kids getting married young cuz of having babies!! U tell me when u find out let me know!

Answer 8

So many factors come into play nowadays......love, kids, finances, infidelity, happiness.....just to name a few. I took my marriage seriously, and yes, now I am divorced....I was able to do what I had to do, but I couldn't do mine, and hers as well. It takes two to marry, and two to stay married, but one can get a divorce.

Answer 9

Amen! I agree! I think its because the price to get a divorce is decreasing, they need to raise it! That way these people will think twice before getting one.

Sometimes their necessary but most of the time the couples just don't try!

Answer 10

I take my marriage seriously. People get married for all of the wrong reasons, and aren't ready, and don't realize it until they are married.

Answer 11

we live in a selfish society. there's no longer "us", it's all about "
me". marriage is work, most people don't want to work at it. marriage should be forever but both partners have to believe that. i would have stayed with my wife forever but she chose to cheat, i forgave her & tryed to make our marriage work. but she couldn't love me like i loved her so she let me go.