Do u think it is necessary for me to get along with my mother-in-law even though we dont get along and we dont even live in the same state?? I can't stand her but thats my husband's mother so should i try to make ammends with her?
2006-09-07 05:30:21 · 26 answers · asked by ya girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look you didn't marry your mother in law so you don't have to like her. You might have to tolerate her. Talk to your husband and tell him the things that bug you about her. Do not swear about her and do not attack her.
I cant stand my mother in law but I put up with her because of my wife.
By the way she didn't like my mother either.
I love my wife as she loves me. We tolerated them but we did not let either of them but into our lives. I would handle my mother who learned not to attack my wife and my wife handled her mother. If either parent attacked either one of us then they had both of us to deal with.
As I said you didn't marry your in laws as neither did your husband marry yours. Your family is you and him not the moms or dads from your youth.
2006-09-07 06:44:41 · answer #1 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For the sake of your husband, you should at least TOLERATE her...
If your husband is the only child she has; you are in for the long haul! She looks at you as the person who took her baby away. I don't care if you find a cure for cancer AND the cold, she'll probably claim you just ruined the careers of doctors. Nothing you will do is going to be right in her eyes.
That is until you make her a grandmother; then she's going to be all over you about how to be a better mother, what she did when your husband was a baby, etc. etc.
Let your husband know what's going on and PLEASE don't put him in the middle or make him choose between you and his mother... just try to be pleasant when you're all together. If she visits, just count the days until she leaves; and if you visit her... insist on staying at a hotel!
2006-09-07 05:42:56 · answer #2 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh girl, you have no idea, I have the worst Mother- in-law, we do not get along at all, we never have, The only reason she talks to me is because I have the granddaughter. She is rude and very disrespectful to me in my own home, in front of other family memebers and neighbor friends, oh yes my husband is there to witness all of this, and refuses to say anything to her, so now I do. It will shut her up for the time being, but at the next visit she is the same way to me, my husband has said that is her and I have to accept this behavior, and I said fine, but not in my home.. Best of luck , I feel for you I really do, it is not fun.. I just do not say much when I am around her or in her home, but when she brings it out at my home, well you know where the door is..
2006-09-07 05:51:14 · answer #3 · answered by sweet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can not stand my mother in law either. We live in different States as well so I do not see her all that often. Thank God for small miracles but when we do, I try to grin and bear it. I have explained to my husband why I do not like her and he has been as supportive as can be. When we go to visit he will suggest friends I should go visit and places I should go shopping at and when I may look like I need a nap to keep from hurting her feelings and minimizing the time we are forced together. But believe me, when her fangs come out, my claws come out and we waste no time on preliminary matters!
2006-09-07 05:39:28 · answer #4 · answered by cytopia1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, I've got one that I can't stand and she's not even in the same country! When she comes to the US to visit family, I do not participate. My reason for not wanting anything to do with her is because she is destructive to my family. I feel no obligation to be kind to her because she's my husband's mother.
You need to think about the reasons that you can't stand her and determine if they are petty or if she is a serious threat to the well being of your family. Then, go from there.
2006-09-07 05:37:05 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in the same boat as you are when its regarding my MIL and thankfully we don't live in the same country right now .. Needless to say I am respectful but I avoid her @ all cost. Its also my husband responsibility to have contact with her. I will respond if she sends me a email but I just can't forgive her for many things .. especially the fact that she wasn't there for us when we lost our son (her first grandchildren) and so much more.
Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel
2006-09-07 05:34:35 · answer #6 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to like her but out of respect for your husband you should tolerate her, try to get along with her for his sake. Sounds like it's probally a good thing that you all don't live in the same state! Good luck!
2006-09-07 05:37:38 · answer #7 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't stand my mother in law either we live in Ohio and she lives in Indiana she's a ***** and loves to stir up trouble I don't care if it's his mother or not you marry the man not the parents noone has to like their husband's or wife's family my husband likes my parents I don't like his at all cause they like to lie, stir up trouble,and have tried to break our marriage up I stay away from my husband's family and due to my husband understanding their trouble he doesn't want them around anyways we stay away from eachother all together which I feel so lucky about if the in laws haven't done anything wrong try to get along with them if they have done something to cause trouble or something like mine then it's best to stay away from them
2006-09-07 06:26:16 · answer #8 · answered by blondeqtwitanicebooty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she lives in another state, you dont have to spend much time with her. Be tolerant when you are with her. After all, she will always be his mom. BTW, was there one particular reason why you dont get along or is it just a personality clash?
2006-09-07 05:35:45 · answer #9 · answered by JC 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yea, you should try to be at least civil with her. You don't have to like her just tolerate her for your husband. You don't want your husband caught in the middle and feeling like he has to choose between the two of you. Or that he has to pick sides.
2006-09-07 05:38:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋