God and satan are the same,
I went to hell, they knew my name,
I fainted at the evil that I saw.
God was standing in the crowd,
They sang his praises out aloud,
He wont answer your prayers any more.
I see the world, I know it's dying,
I look around and no one's crying,
Hell is where we know we belong in.
So tear apart the holy bible,
You'll know why at death's arrival,
God sold the world so he could be a king.
Each day on earth to God I pray,
That hell will take me on today,
I have so many sins that I can tell.
We are an evil human race,
We need to be in an evil place,
To us the earth is just a prison cell.
In these few words my life is told,
I was born young and then grew old,
The world has not done anything for me.
And in my final dying dream,
I hear the force of evil scream,
They called me down to hell where I am free.
2006-09-07 04:34:40 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
A nice effort, but a little weak. Set it down for a week and look at it with a critical eye; you'll probably see some room for improvement. You also need to take a break; the world is full of terrible things, but if that's what you dwell on, that's all you see. Take a deep breath, relax, open you eyes and see all the good around you. Seek and ye shall find!
2006-09-07 04:47:19 · answer #1 · answered by OU812 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this poem is relating to you......b/c there is always a reason why people write poems for certain reasons and passions and why and how. and what has happened. You must have a lot of feelings. It is good. But it sounds like you have or are having a lot of pain or trouble in your life. sounds like you think that you will be free down stairs and not with the man upstairs. But that is not the case i think.
2006-09-07 12:46:40 · answer #2 · answered by fryeindustries2002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A common complaint.
Your rhythm sucks, by the way, and your rhyme-scheme just confuses things even more, disjointing the eye and losing track of the poem. But heh, that's just me.
2006-09-07 11:48:01 · answer #3 · answered by Alobar 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish you take your poem to any pastor of the First Assemblies of God where I am confident you will recieve an appropriate answer to your question
2006-09-07 11:47:51 · answer #4 · answered by want to know 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I think your poem is very good although I don't believe in evil or heaven or hell or god or the devil!
2006-09-07 11:47:30 · answer #5 · answered by Keenu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked it but it's a bit pessimistic
Still, u're a talented person. My congratulations!
2006-09-07 11:49:56 · answer #6 · answered by Greeneyed 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're just ryming to an empty story. there's no feeling
poetry is all about feelings
2006-09-07 11:59:37 · answer #7 · answered by peter gunn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its ok, I just don't like the topic.
2006-09-07 11:56:50 · answer #8 · answered by Dawn Treader 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋