Happiness is at the moment when you see a rainbow. When you hear a kid laugh or your favorite song. When your spouse hugs you when you need it and didn't have to ask. When you make love and fall asleep with a smile. Happiness is not a continuous feeling. Is it just Americans who have this unrealistic requirement? Just would like to hear the thoughts of others.
2006-09-07 04:16:14 · 23 answers · asked by jenna b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been married for 31 years. I always tell others, marriage is an ebb and flow. You just have to ride out the storms. My husband and I thought about getting a divorce twice. We went to counseling. We lived apart for awhile. We are still together. I love him more than ever. He also feels the same way. It's worth it to stick it out. Just my feelings on the subject. Good luck.
2006-09-07 04:29:02 · answer #1 · answered by hello 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its to broad to say your unhappy there are reasons that take along time to come to the surface. It took me years to come to the conclusion that the marriage has failed. If you exhausted every path that could save the relationship then divorce is the only option. If your partner fails to work with you on it then there is really not a lot that will change. I found through couples therapy a tool that helped me was doing a time-line of the marriage and looked at the overall picture. I don't think anyone that goes into divorce lightly with wimpy reason like you were dating. The biggest problem is that the other spouse is normally not at the same page but ending a marriage is not ended because of wimpy reasons there is a lot more than it meets the eye.
2006-09-07 05:02:46 · answer #2 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!! i don't think so. have you exhausted all other options? example: talking to a trusted friend/family member, seeking counseling from a higher up in your church and or counseling from a professional? don't just jump into divorce, you may live to regret it. also ask yourself why r they so unhappy and if there is something you can do to change that. I mean is it something your doing or not doing that's making them unhappy? I don't think that divorce should automatically be the answer it is not a nice process and no one really wins in the end especially if you have kids. So try talking things out first and find out what the problem is maybe you can work it out. you should at least try, then if it doesn't work it doesn't work, then you move on but you made a commitment to one another so you have to try and fix it.
2006-09-07 04:35:02 · answer #3 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone is unhappy in a marriage there are usually underlaying causes for the unhappiness... If both parties are not willing or able to work toward a joined mutual happiness in which both parties are receiving the happiness they require then divorcing may be the answer...
What is wrong with wanting to be happy and having your needs met by the one who is supposed to love and cherish you??? What is wrong with leaving a relationship if your needs are not being met??
2006-09-07 04:21:37 · answer #4 · answered by Diane (PFLAG) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As far as heaven goes,..Matthew 19:9.. I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except on the ground of fornication, and marries another commits adultery. (said Jesus)
So actually, no divorce is valid in the heavenly court, unless fornication has occurred.
Satan's desire is to destroy all marriages. If only one mate is doing right, but yet is being tormented by the other mate, in any way that is not fornication, this is not grounds for divorce.
Many however, do separate under severe pain, however this opens wide the possibilities for temptation.
1Peter 2:19 For if someone, because of conscious toward God, bears up under grievous things and suffers unjustly, this is an agreeable thing. 20) For what merit is there in it if, when you are sinning and being slapped, you endure it? But if, when you are doing good and you suffer, you endure it, this is a thing agreeable with God.
1Peter 3:17 For it is better to suffer, because you are doing good, if the will of God wishes it, than because you are doing evil.
Philippians 4:13 For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me.
The desire of a continually HAPPY marriage is a desire given to us by God, but will not be perfectly experienced until Jesus and his wife rule with the 144,000, the New Jerusalem, over the earth.
Psalms 145:16 You are opening your hand and satisfying the desire of every living thing.
Praise Jah!! You people!!
Hail earth's new King!! Christ Jesus!!
Welcome his wife; the 'Queen of the Heavens'!!
2006-09-07 04:49:14 · answer #5 · answered by tina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can find no reference source that says we must be happy all the time. I am male and have mood swings; realize that when I am down I should not make important decisions or be around people. It is a normal part of human existance. You can eat right and get lots of sunshine, which helps, but the human mind is a strange thing and can make a sunny day black. Try not to rely on happy pills too much.
2006-09-07 04:27:50 · answer #6 · answered by acmeraven 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I was unhappy, I would divorce. An overall unhappiness. Not a moment of it. I want to live a fulfilling life.I want to be happy. I do not want to waste what little time I have being unhappy. OR have that be an example to my children. I do think it needs to be truly " unhappy" not just a phase or a low point in your marriage.
2006-09-07 04:20:52 · answer #7 · answered by loladoreen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Happiness and unhappiness are both temporary and situational. Divorce is final. I think if a person's unhappy, they should look back and see what they've given lately to their spouse. Often, I believe, you can really change things for yourself if you start to concentrate on giving to others. Then it will come back around.
2006-09-07 16:25:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is not happy all the time but thats when couples need to talk about what i not making them happy instead of running to an attorney and getting the papers.I am divorced and remarried and i don't regret it one bit because i talked and tried to work things out for four years before i when my seperate way.
2006-09-07 04:57:01 · answer #9 · answered by samwise25 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well ...a relationship should make you happy ...otherwise why go through it? I am going through a divorce because my husband wasn't happy, but it goes deeper than that....Home should be a place of solace and respite...men grow restless and yearn for more....it is on them not you...you are right there will be ups and downs in life not continoual bliss...but you should be finding yourself reacking for that person as the vows say in good times and in bad, sickness and health etc....if the connection is lost that is were the real problems begin...not level of happiness...good luck...
2006-09-07 04:26:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋