How can I make my point across to my husband that will sink into his brain that the porn hurts me as a wife and make him realize how much he has disrespected me?
2006-09-07 04:15:40 · 36 answers · asked by onnie9902 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I feel ya girl! I have been in this situation for a while now. Finally we don't have a computer. It would make me feel like I was less than, that I wasn't attractive to him, didn't do it for him. It hurt my feelings so bad and he couldn't understand it. It was destroying my marriage and he didn't even realize it. They don't think there is anything wrong with it and think we are silly for getting upset with them for doing it. My husband told me he was 33 years old and if he felt like watching porn he was going to! I don't get it. If I was doing something that made my husband feel like ****, I would stop immediately, wouldn't you? They don't get it! My husband is actually talking about getting another computer! I don't want to tell him what he can or can't do but hurts me and affects in a bad way and I just can't accept it! If we get a computer again, we are going to have to get some professional help. Someone to help him see how bad it bothers me, because I obviously can't get through to him. Maybe if he knows that our marriage is on the line then he will do something different! I will leave if this continues, it's not fair to me and my feelings and it's so disrespectful! I've been doing a lot of praying for my marriage and I will include you in my prayers! I know how difficult this situation is and I hope you find some peace!
2006-09-07 04:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't. He has an addiction. I have heard there is a hormone in the brain that is secreted when viewing porn that stimulates and it requires more vivid and explicit stimuli to maintain the level.Tell him that you will not tolerate it. Then TAKE ACTION If u find it in ur home THROW IT OUT! Don't hide it from those he would have it be a secret. If he thinks its okay for you to be offended then it shouldn't matter if his co workers etc...came over and saw it. Let him know that you will not protect him or buy it for him. Is it possible that he would like to do something within the bedroom with you and is not being satisfied? While sex is usually satisfying it can be lacking in versatility and becomes stale. Be willing to experiement so long as it will not hurt you unless u like that. Other than that ; he knows what you believe he just doesn't care to give up his 'drug'
2006-09-07 04:27:24 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Porn is porn he could be addicted to much worse and he is doing it at home, he is not going to the adult theaters, is he? or to the streets or having an affair. This is not showing you how much he disrespects you he is showing you something he is interested in maybe you could set your hurt feelings aside and watch some with him... He is not disrespecting you! It is porn! Is he verbally abusing you? or in front of others or abusing you calling you names, steeling your money, cheating on you, talking bad about you behind your back??? That is disrespect and I think some women are too hard on their men for watching porn it's on T.V. and not live like he's playing a role in it having sex with these other women... He is not afraid to show you that he watches it so you should not be afaird to let him... Mature adults even when it comes to sex this shouldn't be hurting your felings at all nor should you feel that he is disrespecting you, untill you have real reasons for your feelings to be hurt and real reasons to acuse him of being disrespectful you have nothing to worry about! Maybe you need to be a bit more comfortable with yourself and your own sexuality and relax a bit then maybe you wouldn't be bothered by it all! Good luck I am sorry you are hurt and don't like it but really he is watching a t.v screen and not touching them or leaving the house... Do you not have fanticies? Why are the such a hidden part of your life, why keep them from your hubby this is something you two should be enjoying together not fuding about!
2006-09-07 04:31:11 · answer #3 · answered by sophia_of_light 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your absolutely correct. Not only is it disrespectful, your husband
will start to want the girls in the movie. Wanting you or a partner to look, act and do the things there doing. My girlfriend left her
hubby after 8 years because of just such a thing. She was
addicted to the porn. The sex w/ her hubby wasn't what she
wanted anymore "because he was not like the men in the movies". Needless to say she is single and lonely now.
Bitching will not get your point across, I agree with the other
girls "what is good for the goose is good for the gander".
Cut off sex... There is no disrespect to you if he's not getting
any. Let him beat himself silly..
2006-09-07 04:32:05 · answer #4 · answered by desire4reallove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you taking care of your Husband in the bedroom department?
If you are, then you need to pick a good time to talk to him about this problem. Do not attack him, talk with him! Try to find out why he is interested in Porn. It is normal for men to look at naked women in books, etc. Just how much, and what type of porn your Husband is into, will determine the extent of the problem, and the action needed to correct his addiction. Too much involvement in porn for men could hinder their performance with their Wife.
2006-09-07 04:27:10 · answer #5 · answered by Sentinel 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men don't understand why a woman finds porn disrespectful. They think on a completely different level then we do. They don't understand why we don't want to watch other women having sex with each other or giving oral sex to each other or other men. It turns them on, so they think it should turn us on as well. I solved the problem by telling my husband if we had to watch women having sex together then we needed to get one with men having sex with each other. Not that i really wanted to see that, but it got the point across. He didn't want to see that, he said. So I told him,what makes you think we women want to see other women having sex with each other then? It was the end of the discussion. Now if we watch porn, I get to pick it out. There are some good vids out that that aren't all stupid and graphic.
2006-09-07 04:30:00 · answer #6 · answered by Mary J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, hun, this is such a tough one. TONS of people are going to come after you about how porn is healthy, and tons more will start to debate the opposite.
I assume you've tried telling him outright that it hurts you and you feel disrespected, and he either (1) doesn't care and (2) doesn't believe it's that big of a deal and you're overreacting.
You need to take this to marriage counselling. Be prepared, though, for the counsellor to suggest modifications in your own behavior as well as in your husband's.
Best of luck to you!
2006-09-07 04:19:07 · answer #7 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down a talk to him with no tv on or anything else to distract him. Look at him right in the eyes and explain it to him how it makes you feel. I know it's just a magazine but it still hurts and makes you wonder what is wrong with you that he has to look at another females picture. Also don't buy the other magazines to get him upset. This might turn him on.
2006-09-07 04:23:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him not to be on the internet for more than an hour and use it for e-mail etc, not porn.
Try getting the help of some software that blocks porn.
2006-09-07 04:51:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with Porn!
Would you rather him go off and have an affair.
It is just a fantasy, become apart of it, watch porn with him try some of the things you see don't be such a stick in the mud and get off his case. Guys can't do anything wright these days give them a break . If that's the one flaw he has ignore it he is obviously ignoring your prudish side... why does it have to be about you??????
2006-09-07 04:19:59 · answer #10 · answered by mum 2 Cameron and Ewan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋