I have two friends that I've known for a bout 5 years. One a guy the other a woman. For the past 3 years he has told me many times that this woman is chasing him..that she won't leave him alone. He told me that he even went to her house and told her that he doesn't want to date her...and told her to leave him alone. I've never seen this...I just believed him. Well she asked me if there was something wrong...people were treating her very different...she just knew that something was wrong. After a while I started to believe he wasn't telling the truth...she came over and confronted me..she said I know something is wrong..and you are my friend..what is it. I spilled my guts..I told her the truth..I made her promise to keep this a secret...she broke that promise...she was so angry..she confronted him and had a huge blow-out..she told me she never like him..she really thought they were just good friends. Now time has passed...they made up and are friends...and he still hates me...and I fee
2006-09-07 03:52:54 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
and I feel bad. They both now give me the cold sholder...what did I do wrong...should I have kept my mouth shut...what do you think?
2006-09-07 03:53:53 · update #1
My friend, I wouldn't blame you for being apprehensive about disclosing secrets/perceptions of one friend to the other (especially when both matter to you equally) and thus risk the relationships. You did what you were supposed to do (however, I believe a little assertiveness would have helped you stand with your chin up).
You shouldn't feel guilty and may want to try this out- You can get together with both of them and discuss things openly. You can use sentences to begin the conversation like this "Since we've had a nice time together and we may not agree that we still do it now, I would like to discuss a few things which are bothering me for a while and thus suffocating this relationship. I feel whatever happened was a miss in communcation within the group and I would like to discuss how things could have been worked out in a better way. There is no point in beating a dead dog, but what I want to know, how this situation could have been handled in a better way. What do you think YOU could have done had you been into my position?" Listen to their part of tale and then respond with what you felt followed by your actions.
If things direct you to part ways, you can think about it, however, you still need to feel good about yourself. You didn't do anything that you weren't supposed to do. You were just being ambigous and trusted your friend (who didn't keep her words).
At the end (if things work out or if they don't) you should be able to respect yourself for whatever you did.
Try this out..
All the best.
2006-09-07 04:08:17 · answer #1 · answered by Umang Taneja 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask them what their problem is!!! you helped them out, she would have still been wondering what was up and he would still been getting the funny looks from this lass. She asked a question you told the truth cos at the end of the day he wasn't!
If they still don't want to know you tough its their loss sounds to me like you did the right thing and cleared the air and they aren't very good freinds any way!
2006-09-07 04:03:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didnt do anything wrong.... You told the truth to someone who asked you a question, If your male friend way lying about this girl, she deserved to know!!!!
They are acting like a couple of teenager's and if thats the way that they want to act, do you really want friends who are going to be that way??
I wouldnt waste my time on them any longer if I were you.... Just my opinion... you asked what would I do...
I would move on.... There are millions of people in this world, Im sure you can make new friends!!!
2006-09-07 04:38:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on with your life. You did as your conscience directed. If they want to give you the silent treatment then let them.
One of them lied to you.
The one that did not lie to you is backing the one that did.
Surround your self with people that like you and want to see you get a head - not back stabbers. Volunteer in charities, join some groups that reflect your interests (music, books, sports - what ever it is) and put your self out there and meet new people.
2006-09-07 04:01:23 · answer #4 · answered by Think.for.your.self 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't do anything wrong. They are acting pretty immature in my opinion. I'd say just forgive them and go on. Continue to treat them with kindness and love. They may get over their problem someday and want to be your friends again and maybe not. I'm sorry they've treated you this way.
2006-09-07 04:04:05 · answer #5 · answered by Faith 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I owuld have told her the truth and told him to STOP PLAYING GAMES.Sounds liek they both want to place the blame on someone else , and they picked you.I would say move on down the road and drop bot hof those losers who want to act like High School kids.They are adults and should understand by now Adults dont act like that .
Dont worry about clowns like that and move on with people who want to be friends and not play childish games.
2006-09-07 03:58:33 · answer #6 · answered by Glenn T 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
my dear, don't be too hard on yourself. what you did is what any true friend would do so that she could stop making nuisance of herself to this other guy. if she is not grateful that you told her what happened and she could not behave matured either, then it is her loss my friend. after all, you did not go searching to tell her, she came to you. don't let them make you feel bad, you have no nothing wrong. continue to be who you are and stay cool
2006-09-07 04:05:09 · answer #7 · answered by irebless_05 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
one if you were really just good freinds i wouldn't let it bother you.after all he's the one that told you that she was chasing him and made it like he was somebody hot and it came back that he was only lieing about it all bullshit as they say let it roll off a ducks *** no big thing your lucky now he is telling everyone that your chasing him
2006-09-07 04:46:20 · answer #8 · answered by longbeachex 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me? I'd just forget them. Anyone that petty isn't worth my time or energy.
2006-09-07 04:03:12 · answer #9 · answered by JudasHero 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They are not friends bottom line
2006-09-07 03:56:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋