I'm kinda in a tough situation. I want nothing to do with my ex, but that's impossible cuz we have a child together. I'm all for letting him visit her and stuff, but if I do he starts hitting on me and thinking we will get back together again. It's impossible to be friendly with him for our child's sake, without him thinking it will go further than that.
Now he wants to take her places, like the park or the zoo. I won't let him take her himself, so I would have to go. Obviously it would be a nice experience for our daughter, yet I know it's just an excuse for him to try to feel close to me again. I feel bad saying no, but should I feel bad? Any ideas on how to handle the situation?
2006-09-07 03:34:10 · 8 answers · asked by angelbaby 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I won't allow him to take her because he is irresponsible, and I don't trust that she would be safe in his care. He's never been primarily responsible for her, and he also has a 5 yr. old daughter that I've seen him around. He's not the kind of guy who likes to care for kids, he just likes to act like he is.
2006-09-07 04:01:08 · update #1
It would be different if he were a great father from the start and I knew he would take good care of her, but he's not and never has been.
2006-09-07 04:02:17 · update #2
I know I have to deal with him, I am able to be civil with him, but he always wants more. He's not mature enough to just come visit and not have conversation with me. He gets mad because even though I tolerate him coming over, I don't want to sit and make small talk. I don't think it's necessary if he's only there to visit our daughter, but obviously that's not the only reason he's there.
We've never been to court yet, but I have been the primary caretaker since she was born. Therefore, he does not have court ordered visitation or pay any child support. The only $ I asked of him after we broke up was for him to continue paying his half of child care expenses each week. He hasn't even done that. Only whenever he feels he has the money and only if I am being friendly with him. I don't rely on him for anything.
2006-09-07 04:45:41 · update #3
The best thing to do (even if you don't want to be "mean") is to take him to court to get supervised custody visits. This should not be/is not about you two...it is about your child. It is pretty obvious to me that you do not want to be with this person--yet he keeps making the effort. You need to start thinking about what is best for your daughter. If you feel that he should have the right to visit her then by all means let him. But if you don't want to be around when it happens (and I can understand why), then get supervised custody through the court. This is only about your daughter...leave the rest out of it. And if he can't comply with that simple request then take the legal way out. That's what it's there for
2006-09-07 07:11:16 · answer #1 · answered by vdubbchick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who has primary custody of this child? I'm assuming you do. Does he pay child support? If he doesn't, he should. Does he have court ordered visitations? If he pays child support, and you can not prove to a court why he shouldn't visit with the child, you have no choice but to let him take her. If there is more to the story, then the courts will still allow visitations, but they will be supervised by someone other than you. You will be involved with this man the rest of your life because of your daughter, like it or not, but you don't have to be best friends, either. But, for her sake, get along infront of her.
2006-09-07 11:26:09 · answer #2 · answered by cowboys21angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you trust him with her? How long has it been since your relationship has ended? How old is your daughter?
You don't have to be with him in order for him to spend time with his child. If you don't want him anymore, stand firm with your no. I say let him take his daughter places and spend quality time with her. Why do you have to go? Do you have a reason for not letting her go with her dad?
I've been in a similar situation, but we didn't have a child together......but the guy just wouldn't leave me alone. I stuck with my no to everything that he would ask and eventually he moved on. Just tell the guy, don't take anything personal and that everything you do is just for your daughter's sake.
2006-09-07 10:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by DaddysGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi. Kevin here. Wish I could give you some good advice on this one, but it sounds like you need to get some councelling for yourself, and for your b/f. In the meantime, I would like to be there for you, in case you need/want someone to talk it out with. Anytime. Here's my home # 918-335-2955 , just in case. Take good care of you and your little one. Nothing is more important right now than for you and your baby to be safe and secure. A Gentleman, At Your Service, Ma'am. Kevin B.
2006-09-07 10:48:23 · answer #4 · answered by Kevin B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be firm with your NO to him, soon enough he will get the picture, Whats wrong with he taking HIS daughter on his own, I do all the time.
2006-09-07 10:54:42 · answer #5 · answered by joey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie don't feel bad if he is a dead beat dad feel secure in what you feel. i have one of those jackasses to but he knows that if he tries anything he will get maced lol you are right not to let him take your daughter out because it's not about her and for him to try and use her like that is wrong...be strong
2006-09-07 11:28:03 · answer #6 · answered by shere w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have anyone you can trust to go with them instead of you?The sad thing is he will always be in your life because of your child,unless he doesn't want to see her.Sad but true.
Don't feel bad.Just hope in time he understands its over.Good luck
2006-09-07 10:42:18 · answer #7 · answered by hotone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did you split up?-main quotestion
is you dont love him at all and you not willing to give another chance then dont feel bad..man know how to take care of themself
2006-09-07 10:45:52 · answer #8 · answered by MJ1977 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋