2006-09-07 03:27:14 · 63 answers · asked by aladinscaves 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Ask a therapist.
2006-09-07 03:28:27 · answer #1 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This isn't just you. Many men and women do this.
I would suspect that as you were growing up, you probably didn't have the best role models in terms of marriage. Otherwise, who you learned how to have a relationship from, probably didn't have very good relationships.
The problem is that many people are not as selective as they think combined with the thought that marriage is something you can end any time you wish (which in many respects you can).
What I mean is, people think they are in love with someone, and are williing to marry them when they have not thought things through as far as they should. They haven't thought about the money. They haven't thought about the sacrifices they will make. Oftentimes, they really are only thinking about how good the sex is!!
One other problem for you is that sex while cheating is probably more fun for you than sex with your husband because of the "forbidden" factor. As far as that goes, that is a matter of sacrifice...if you marry again, this is something that you will just have to be willing to give up.
My opinion is that you should continue to see the people you like, and in fact, see many people. You don't need to be married for a long while. Instead, you need to take some time off, and eventually the man that you know you would commit to for the longterm will emerge. He will be the person you like to spend time talking with the most, someone you have the most in common with, someone you like not just because of looks, but because of who he is. He'll eventually emerge (it could take a while) and you just got to let it happen, and not force it. Since you can't plan for it, just tell yourself that you're not committing to anyone at all for a long time.
Then, when this person emerges, and you are both thinking of getting married, go to a counselor together. Seriously. Demand that this happens. Work things out with a marriage counselor ahead of time, and start your marriage on the right course, and for the right reasons.
2006-09-07 03:43:18 · answer #2 · answered by rod_j_clifton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unlike what everyone else is saying maybe you just keep picking the wrong people to be involved with. remember it takes 2 for everything: 2 to fight, 2 to be happy as well. If the person you are married to can not keep you happy it's just as much there fault. Some men are great while you are dating them and living on your own, but get married or move in together and they become instant children again along with being useless a-holes!! Good Luck in your next relationship. Pick someone you would have never considered in the past, you may surprise yourself.
2006-09-07 03:49:24 · answer #3 · answered by littleone 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you haven't married the right person! Probably you thought you love them that's why you marry them but actually it was just an infatuation or just lust. If you keep cheating it means you don't trust yourself. And if you don't trust yourself, someone else will never trust you. If you cannot live with one person, better not marry and ruining someone else's life. Live your life the way you will feel happier without snatching anyone's happiness. If you like to be with more than one woman, then just be like that. But make sure that you are not cheating all the women with whom you are and tell them about your real character. Live freely and let others free
2006-09-07 05:41:26 · answer #4 · answered by Goldenheart 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact is you haven't actually been in love (all three times), if you were you wouldn't cheat!! However if you are a guy, it seems guys can cheat and have no feelings for the person they are cheating with. It could be family related and im speaking seriously... perhaps you have grown up with your parents seperated, or some family ordeal that ended badly, talk to someone who can help you such as a therapist, etc... Hope i helped!!!
2006-09-07 03:32:00 · answer #5 · answered by Romy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it wasn't love, but lust.
Maybe you fancy yourself being in love and maybe you just want to please the person you fancy yourself to be in love with.
And again, maybe this institution doesn't mean that much to you and you don't realize how much it might mean to the person you get married to.
Possibly you use marriage as a means, not an end.
Think about what you wouldn't get if you were not to get married to that person you propose marriage to.
Next think of how hurt that same person you then divorced would feel. If you never think about it, not once, after three divorce, then I guess you are either the selfishest person on earth, or you are not mature enough.
To me, it says that you like being in control; you like to dominate and mostly, that you are ultimately afraid of committment and intimacy.
2006-09-07 09:07:17 · answer #6 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In answer to your question, you were deprived of real love and affection as a child. Therefore you crave love and understanding . Like people in your position you confuse sex with love, they are totally different one is emotional the other physical.Sadly people who find themselves in this situation keep moving from one realtionship to another , thinking the next realtionship will give them the love and understanding they crave for.
The answer to this is to develop a realtionship with someone who has a strong personality who can give you the emotional security that you need. If not be prepaired for a turbulant future
For further advice mail me on; crjstrancres@btinternet.com
2006-09-07 06:58:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you just havent found your sole mate yet, as there is many types of love isnt there or maybe is it that you have been cheated on and cant trust your partner so feel it is better that you dont quite show that commitment, then your not the one who is hurt. maybe it is the thrill you seek or that boost to your ego. think back into your past and try and work out when and why you started cheating, what stemmed it, then hopefully you should find your own answer to your question. good luck!
2006-09-07 05:43:03 · answer #8 · answered by killan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My guess by your name is that you are a guy!!!!OK then
I really feel that some men and women are not meant to be married because they enjoy playing the field too much....Quit falling in what you think is love all the time...Let women know up front that you have no intentions of being married again(tell them why up front,that you cheat)..Honesty is the best policy......You may find the right lady who only wants a relationship that doesn't involve marriage and you may enjoy life...I would always keep a seperate home.......No ties to bind............Just visit eachother from time to time for ??? and go back home....That's all you want anyway.............a sex partner .......right....Don't propose anymore, unless it's a toast!...
2006-09-07 03:34:03 · answer #9 · answered by mom of a boy and girl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some people are dating people and don't want to get married,my brother like that.He been divorce 2 times.
2006-09-07 03:54:37 · answer #10 · answered by Nails 4 breakfast,tacks 4 snacks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You weren't in love that's why it was more like a thick veil of lust. Why don't you stop the cycle and try dating people or try a live in relationship with someone that is open because it is obvious you can't commit to fidelity and it's obvious you need security! Now look in the mirror and quit sh*tting yourself! Go to a swingers club!
2006-09-07 03:32:17 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋