My husband and I just had our first kid, we never had problems before but now he has let me know why we are he kissed another girl and has feelings for her and doesnt know why he cant get over it. he said he knows he loves me and he is really beating his self up about it. I dont know what to tell him but I do know if he wants to work things out pushing me away is not the awnser.
2006-09-07 03:04:26 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You have a couple of things in your favour.
1)He feels guilty about it.
2)He told you about it.
3)He still loves you.
I would suggest you work very hard at helping him to get this other female out of his mind. If it means going to see her together then do that. If he really loves you as he says he will do it. If you need to get proffesional help then get it.
This sounds cruel but it is a fact. You need to sort this out before your kid gets to used to you as a family and in 2-3 years have you split up. this is very important. In every decision you make from now on you have to think of your kid
2006-09-07 03:56:20 · answer #1 · answered by robsnor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alright, everyone says You two have issues--the obvious has been stated. But You need to find out what those issues are. Find out:
1. How strong his feelings for this other lady are,
2. How strong his feelings for You are.
Why did the two of You get together in the first place? Are You two really soul mates? How long have You two been married? Is there something he needs that You either can't or aren't giving him? If it's a recent marriage, maybe ending it now is the right answer--people do make mistakes, but maybe the mistake was in getting married. You can still forgive him and walk away, and it might actually be doing the both of You a favor. Or You can forgive and stay, but it depends on whether You can find out what he's really missing and give it to him and whether he has it in him to be faithful. Good luck!
2006-09-07 10:47:02 · answer #2 · answered by cryingguy1973 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't know why he needs to get help. Counseling ASAP
I really doubt he doesn't know why. I think he is not telling you the truth. BUT! Here is the positive he told you. This means he has communicated with you. That is the biggest and most important step that needed to be made.
Get counseling help and keep talking about it. Don't let it be hidden. He needs to open up to you. If you do love him work with him. Don't fight even when things that are said will hurt you.
Talk and get some counseling before it is to late.
Best of luck I am sure things will work out if you both want that.
2006-09-07 11:49:18 · answer #3 · answered by Mit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most men won't tell you when thier cheating. It's great that he had the guts to tell you.That shows that he does care about you. If it was just a kiss then everything should be ok. People make mistakes and most of the time they regret them for the rest of thier lives. I'd give him one more chance, but if it happens again I would say it is time for a divorce because you can't have a marriage without trust and if he is cheating then you can't trust him.
2006-09-07 10:48:02 · answer #4 · answered by Just_Curious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
belive him.
kissing a girl or even having some feelings to a girl that doesnt mean it is the end of ur marriage.
forgive him, and look at what did attract him to this girl and give him all his needs.
u should know something funny most of husbands cannt tell, husbands (most of them) have some feelings to another women every 7 years, yes I mean it, every 7 years of marriage.
2006-09-07 10:29:42 · answer #5 · answered by dr_merobedro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the best thing to do is divorce i know u want to stay together 4 the kids but my parents got divorced and the only thing i wanted was 4 it to happen sooner because the shock of finding out that 4 the last 14 years my dad was cheating and if he wants to mess around on u he is not worth it
2006-09-07 10:13:12 · answer #6 · answered by Chris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys need to sit down and talk, It wasn't okay he did this but It is great that he told you, He needs to relize you have a family and kissing is even cheating. Let him no that things can work out but the cheating has to stop now. You can forget this time but there will be no other time.
2006-09-07 10:08:05 · answer #7 · answered by bobsdidi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hve you two tried dating since the baby? Putting a litlle romance and spark back in. And are you receptive if he makes advances towards you? I know after our first child my husband felt distanced from me.
2006-09-07 10:09:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy you two need to talk
2006-09-07 10:08:40 · answer #9 · answered by EL Big Ed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have serious issues. Only you can make this call.
2006-09-07 10:26:01 · answer #10 · answered by Monty L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋