I'm 20 years old and I live in Russia(south-east part).
It is common for a girl to get married at 16 if not less.My boyfriend(I've been with him for over 2 years) thinks it's time for me to setlle down.I'm studing biology and thought about having a career.I talked to him and told him about my goals but he,just like my family wants me to be in the house and cook and clean...
I love him but I don't think I'm ready to get married and leave my dreams behind,should I do it after all?I already told him that I could do both,taking care of the households and working...but he has plans of his own.It is hard to be different.I was thinking about moving to another country were I would have a bright future but I love my family and my country.
What should I do?
Thank you.
2006-09-07 02:49:23 · 30 answers · asked by Adonia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hey it's your life and you are the only who is gonna live it, so live your life how you wanna. Do not allow others to tell you how to live your life. If your boyfriend doesn't want you to have a bright future for yourself, then he is being selfish and you don't need him. Nothing is forever, so what would happen if the 2 of you got married and then divorced or if he suddenly dies God forbid!?!? Then you would have nothing to fall back on cause nobody allowed you to become the person you would have been. You can choose to stay where you are or move, that is your choice. The main thing is to stay focused on what you wanna do and not let others decide that for you. Good luck!
2006-09-07 03:08:15 · answer #1 · answered by curious_boricua_soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make a list of the good and bad of each situation:
1. If I stay and marry my boyfriend
2. If I leave and follow my dreams
Do this alone and try to think of every possible aspect of each situation. The cost, your relationships with people, which country is best for you, which school will you go to.
You should know that there is a whole world out there to experience, even if you are a woman. Many women like myself chose to stay home and cook and clean (of course my husband helps). BUT the thing was that no one made us do it or made us feel like we had to. A lot of women here in America live a single life first and during this time they get an education, start a career maybe even purchase a home of their own, THEN get serious with their boyfriend about getting married and decide from there who will stay home with the children.
There's nothing wrong with being a housewife, as long as YOU have made the choice and are happy with your choice. if you do it too soon before accomplishing any other goals in your life you will live with regret and resentment for yourself and for your spouse.
2006-09-07 10:30:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to be honest with you it doesn't matter what anyone else in the world thinks you should do but you. You are only going to be on this planet once, so no, never ever ever leave your dreams behind. They should be the things you live your life every day for and if you don't they will just die with you. You're family sound like traditionalists, and there is no problem with that but they probably think that this is what you were meant to do and all you have to do is prove them otherwise. If you're hopes and dreams come true and make you happy, then if they really love you then they will be just as happy for you. Think outside the box and never compromise yourself
2006-09-07 09:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by Just Wondering 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you know what you want to do in life. This is a new age in time. I really believe you should continue on with yours dreams and get a career. You said he has plans of his own. Well guess what so do you. If his plans do not include you with a meaningful career then I say forget him! You have to look in the future... You need to protect yourself financially so you can take care of yourself. You will be doing the right thing by bettering yourself! Good luck!
2006-09-07 09:58:00 · answer #4 · answered by jeter2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey all your life is a long time to do what someone else wants and not do what you want. Go for your dreams. There is a lot of time to get married and if you finish school you can attract a lot smarter guy and live a much better life. Beleive me the idea of getting out of Russia is a real good one.
2006-09-07 10:24:38 · answer #5 · answered by Doc Phil 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are the only one who can make your choices! I say go for your dreams don't let others control your choices. I am a mother and a wife and left my true dreams behind. Now all I do is take care of my daughter and husband. I am not able to do or get what I really want. I struggle every day wishing I would have done it the other way. Take my advice: GO FOR YOUR DREAM!! Do not allow others to hold you back!
2006-09-07 10:01:55 · answer #6 · answered by no.#1 Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take your time before marriage is the best thing you could do. It took me almost nine years to marry my high school sweet heart and even when I did I still thought it was a big mistake. So been together since 1992 and married for almost 5 years on Sept 15 and we have 3 beautiful children together.
2006-09-07 10:06:28 · answer #7 · answered by mikdar001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart and your dreams. If you don't feel right in marrying right now, don't do it! If he's not willing to wait for you to get on the road to your dreams, find someone willing to support your dreams and your goals.
I know it's hard to seem like you're going against your family, but they should want you to be the best person you can be. Marrying that early will almost certainly squash your hopes and dreams.
2006-09-07 09:56:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really diff cult to take care of the house/work/go to college combined. It will be really stressful. If you do not go with your dreams now, you will get depressed in the near future & my end up leaving this guy becuase of it. Why can he be flexable & help you with you dreams while you help him with his? Marriage is a team effort! Go with your dreams first or firgure out a way were you can equally help each other live your dreams.
2006-09-07 09:57:20 · answer #9 · answered by antihero1776 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Decide what would make you happy and do it. It sounds like he would take care of you and love you, which is more than some have. But a career is wonderful too. You never know how long you will be alone and need the income.
2006-09-07 13:45:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋