My parents divorced, the remarried to other people, then both divorced again. My girlfriend is worried about the statistic that children whose parents are divorced have an especially high divorce rate, and that when we get married we'll just get divorced. So my question is this: Why do "statistics" mean anything to people? If I say I can have a successful relationship becuase I really love her, whose to say I can't have that becuase my parents made a few mistakes? If you agree on me, or feel like being another person to tell me I'm wrong and will not have good relationships, please share.
2006-09-07 02:48:34 · 9 answers · asked by a friendly duck 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think people should not let statistics bother their relationships. My parents are both twice divorcees and my dad is remarried again. I got married 2 months ago and I love my wife and will not divorce her for the world. We are soulmates so explain to her. It is always possible to be the part of the statistic that does have a happy marriage and no divorce.
2006-09-07 02:54:47 · answer #1 · answered by theodore.story 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The way I see it, statistics mean nothing. EVERYONE HAS A 50-50 chance of getting divorced, so ignore the numbers. You are not your parents. Maybe they really screwed up, or maybe they are just normal people who married the wrong person (twice). This does not make them -- or you -- losers! You should learn from your parents mistakes. You will really hate this advice, but the number one thing you can do to prevent this is to KNOW THE PERSON a long time before you decide to get married. A good plan is to date a year or so (let that initial falling-in-love period wear off), then if you feel it's right, get engaged but don' t get married for another year. This can't prevent all divorces, but the better you know the person you love, the less likely you are to fall out of love after the wedding. Good luck to you, and remember that your future is YOURS. You may be much better prepared for a long healthy marriage than anyone you know.
2006-09-07 02:55:54 · answer #2 · answered by marys2boys 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lived with my mother and grandmother all my life and between them they have 7 divorces. I have chosen not to take this path in life. Many people continue to get married and divorced many times because they do not find out why their marriage failed and what they did to cause it to fail. They just assume that a new guy is all that is needed. By understanding that you do not want to get divorced yet you come from a family of divorces you are one step ahead of the game. Many studies have been done regarding marriage and divorce rates and still nobody can tell you what will keep you from getting divorced with any amount of certainty. It sounds like she has some very valid concerns and you are listening to them and both of you are committed to this relationship so you already have a really good chance.
2006-09-07 05:16:09 · answer #3 · answered by SL 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I strongly believe that you can have a very successful marriage even though your parents divorced. My parents are divorced and are together with other people too. So, something I would do whenever I'm getting married is to do some research to find out why people with divorced parents tend to have bad marriages. When I find out the reason why, I would do what I have to do to eliminate that cause. Yes, I strongly believe that you can have a great marriage.
2006-09-07 03:03:37 · answer #4 · answered by Me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that people shouldn't' measure their relationship on what their parents went through..Because my parents,killed each other i mean fighting all the time..they divorced and remarried..my new step father actually killed himself..and if I based my current relationship on what my parents Had been through I would be up the creek..The only thing you can do is to assure her that you want more out of life and that you are totally commit ed to her no matter what..And if she can't love you like you should be a give you a chance I might suggest you rethink the wan whom you think you want as a life partner..
2006-09-07 02:59:16 · answer #5 · answered by crazyinlove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow if I believed what statistics say I would never be happy! Hell my mom is on her 7th marriage, yes 7th! Just because she can't make a marriage work doesn't mean I can't. I do believe that we repeat some of the mistakes that our parents make, but we also learn from them, what "not" to do. It's not about what your parents did or didn't do. Whether or not your succesful in love is on you. I for one am not going to be like my mom! I am an adult and I make my own choices in life! I am happily married and plan to stay that way!
2006-09-07 03:01:08 · answer #6 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody says you absolutely can't have a successful marriage. Stats are just there to identify trends and likelihoods. Perhaps you are in a unique position to actually make your marriage work. You have the knowledge of past mistakes, you know the possibilities, and seem to be that much more dedicated to achieving your goal of a happy marriage. You know the consequences of failure too. Work at it every day. Remain keenly aware of your marriages health. I'd say, unless there's something you're not telling us, you have as good a chance of success as anybody. Let us know the wedding date. Good Luck.
2006-09-07 03:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no reason you shouldn't expect to have a wonderful lasting marriage. You've probably learned more than most people what 'not' to do in a relationship.
2006-09-07 16:29:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
MOST PEOPLE TAKE MARRIAGE TOO LIGHTLY. IT IS A HARD JOB THAT TAKES ALOT OF COMMUNICATION, LOVE, UNDERSTANDING, COMMITTMENT, AND DEDICATION.
ANYONE CAN OVERCOME STATISTICS.......
2006-09-07 03:04:09 · answer #9 · answered by nwnativeprincess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋