The day brought inspiration for me to pen the words which touched upon my soul so deep and I can not keep them for myself alone.
2006-09-07 01:43:57 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Other - Arts & Humanities
I will love to read it. Where is it?
2006-09-07 01:50:41 · answer #1 · answered by elgil 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It needs revision. The first thing I notice is "which." How about changing it to "that," so the line would read "...to pen the words that touched..." And, while we're at it, drop "upon," so the line reads "...to pen the words that touched my soul..." Finally, do you want "so deep?" Or, simply "deeply?" Oh, one more thing, two independent clauses joined by a conjunction are separated by a comma. Place a comma before "and." Inspiration and expression are wonderful things, but they can only take one so far. After that, usage and revision become the orders of the day.
2006-09-07 02:22:35 · answer #2 · answered by indian_ernie42 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your poem has a nice beginnng..... you could expound on it more to make it longer. you could continue on it by saying what has touched you so deep that you could not help sharing it to someone.
2006-09-07 01:50:28 · answer #3 · answered by gracy_1770 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure
2006-09-07 01:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by krishna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋