Yesterday, he threw it in my face that he wanted to marry someone who was financially independent and I should have been up-front with him. You see, he answered an ad I had placed to meet someone nice for casual dates. He responded and one of the things he mentioned was that he wanted someone who was financially independent. I was divorced and living on my own and it is true I only had about $50 thousand. to my name whereas he owned a house, car, boat, many investments. Within a few months, we went on a trip to Mexico together and I paid for half of all expenses. We moved in together and have since married. My ex was paying me some money but did not really have much so my husband said it was ok if I did not accept any more money from him so I agreed. Now my ex is fighting serious cancer and still scrimping by, so I would not ask him to resume paying me.
My husband is retired and does not want me to get a job as it would tie us down. He also resents my health problems. Answer?
2006-09-07 01:43:12 · 12 answers · asked by Lean on Me 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
sounds like you husband needs to get into the 12 step program and get some help for his drinking.. and then he needs to get off his retired butt and go back out and get another job if he needs more money.
Unless you have small children and it is child suport that your ex husband is paying you.. when you got married his responsibilitys of paying you anything ended.
And if you really need more money go and get yourself a job and get rid of his butt and don't put up with his crap anymore . Having his abusive mouth going off when he benges doesn't help you health problems either..
everyone some day comes down with health problems it comes with getting older.. it isn't your fault.
seriously consider giving him the boot.. don't sound like it will get any better.
just take care of yourself and your own health and don't worry about him. If he gets physically abusive get out so that you don't get hurt. I wish you all the luck in the world.
2006-09-07 01:59:29 · answer #1 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him he sounds like he is probably an ok guy when he isnt drinking but when he is drinking he sounds like a jerk. My dad was an alchohalic and he was mean when he was drunk but then after he got sober he didnt remember saying all the hurtfull things he said the night before. I would get a job weather he likes it or not and move out. Go back and take care of youre ex or something. I know its not youre responsability but he seems like he might be a nicer guy than youre husband. As long as you stay with youre husband he will never change. You have to let him know you mean no drinking because he is an *** hole when he drinks. I would rather work every minute of my life than to go live with my dad ever again. I love my da but I cant put up with that crap and niether should you.
2006-09-07 01:57:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you sure that you want to be with someone that seems to just want the money? I had thought that when it came to marriage that the man was suppose to take care of the wife. It just seems that he is more worried about the money and not you. Plus he did say that it was alright if you don't take any more money. He shouldn't resent your health problems, he should be there. Talk to him and tell him how you feel. If things don't change then you need to decide if this is what you want. Then go from there.
2006-09-07 01:57:23 · answer #3 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you've got your hands full. As for the drinking, you shouldn't have to live with that. There is no excuse. I personally went to a rehab program in Feb., and it was the best thing I ever did. (I'm the wife by the way.) I drank because I just wasn't happy-it sounds like he may be doing the same thing.
As far as the money, it sounds like he's going to have to give a little. We can't all be "financially independendent" without working. It sounds like you were to most people's standards.
Do you think you'll ever be able to make this man happy without giving too much of yourself?
2006-09-07 01:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by katfred76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bad thing about when people drink they either say things that they don't mean or they mean it and it takes alcohol to bring out the courage to say them. It sounds to me that he was looking for a meal ticket. How could someone just want someone with a lot of money. You say that you only had $50,000 well my dear that isn't just like having $100 that is a good amount so tell him hey, either quit drinking because your unbearably mean when you do or stay away from me.
2006-09-07 01:49:33 · answer #5 · answered by ws_422 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems like a real jerk.I would get him help for his drinking problem and if he refuses and doesn't want help.I would get out of that negative relationship.I know it would hurt at first but time will heal the pain. There is no reason to stay in a bad relationship the other refuses help.If he really loves you he will try.Good luck!
2006-09-07 01:49:28 · answer #6 · answered by lisababyg ♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alot of those factors count upon his age, universal wellbeing. His body calls for supplements really magnesium because alcohol depletes a drinker. maximum do no longer devour nicely. The shakes are attributed to a decrease in magnesium everybody ought to take like a pressure Tab common besides.He needs to stop era. There quite isn't any engaged on it . His liver which metabolizes alcohol ought to nicely be impaired and he now can not protect the alcohol intake like individuals. It continues to be in his equipment longer. He needs solid nutrition, supplements, help crew, different activities that help him cope in a distinct way and he likely seriously isn't in a position to be a social drinker.A liver enzymes panel would no longer educate damage now if he's youthful yet in many cases will boost later which because the liver fails, esophageal varices improve by using flow backing up. One breaks and it truly is a horror educate of blood loss. He can improve a jaundice (yellow) visual attraction and clay colored stools (poop). Hepatic encephalopathy later occurs because of the liver no longer having the ability to break down ammonia, the levels boost and he turns into poisonous with impaired mind function with seizures, coma, and absence of existence.both one among you become in contact with activities and communicate. communicate alot. attempt alcoholic's nameless. i imagine it truly is ineffective for the cases we stay in, others disagree.He needs to keep himself. you could help although that's quite as a lot as him. i'm sorry that you've chosen this significant different. i quite wish he turns round for himself and those that love him.
2016-11-06 19:41:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does this guy want a wife or his own personal emotional punching bag? The answer is obviously stop drinking or you'll leave. I knew a guy who give you the shirt off his back...until he drank. Then he was a total JERK. He lost alot of friends because of it. The only question is he worth the time and trouble.
2006-09-07 01:50:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump his as$. You can do so much better. Find someone who wants to be with you because of who you are not because you have some money behind your name.
As for the health issues, same advice.
He needs to go to AA.
2006-09-07 01:47:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please join a local Al-Anon group. They will offer you a lot of help, support and acceptance. Good luck!
2006-09-08 03:08:15 · answer #10 · answered by jessanderin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋