Would you see it differently if it was a one night stand to a full blown affair. What would you do in both cases?
2006-09-07 00:43:25 · 32 answers · asked by happyflamepepper 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Mine wouldn't have a one night stand, I know him and if he cheated it would be some serious emotional involvement. But assuming hypothetically he cheated and it was a one night stand I would probably ask him to leave until I felt able to trust him again. If i could trust him again then I would attempt to repair the relationship if not, then I would move on.
For his part I would expect no repeat performance of infidelity and a serious practical commitment do agree to my wishes. I would also expect a sincere apology for the breech of my trust whether the relationship could be saved or not.
My advice would always be that the relationship can only be saved if;
The infidelity stops, both are equally and willingly committed to working it out- and both are honest with one another. You can not rebuild trust without honesty.
If all of these factors are not present on both people's sides you are better off ending it.
S
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2006-09-07 00:57:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't judge Him/her on the basis of a one night stand. Some people do like a new experience once in a while and I believe that is perfectly healthy as long the marriage is safe. In a full blown affair him/her does not love the partner anymore. A full blown affair is a potential disaster for married couple, One night stands are not, you just need to spice up your sex life a bit more
2006-09-07 00:49:53 · answer #2 · answered by ????? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that I would find it difficult to forgive in either case - but, dependent on all the circumstances, I might try to get over it if it were a one night stand. If it was a long standing relationship I believe it would be - marriage over and a split. I remained with my now ex-wife for several years after it was clearly not working for me - and I was having an affair throughout. I stayed because of the children - or that is what I told myself - only dealing with the matter when they had both left home. Reviewing the situation now I believe it was the wrong decision for all of us ....
2006-09-07 01:57:26 · answer #3 · answered by Roadrunner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can generalise. Each situation is different. What made it happen? Only the people involved can answer that.
A one night stand is probably easier to deal with. A long term affair means there is something missing in the marriage. But again each case is different.
My husband had an affair at a period in our marriage when I had gone off sex ( I had 2 children under 2 and was permanently exhausted) . In retrospect I think it saved our marriage because the rows over sex stopped! I found it easy to understand why he had the affair, but found it difficult to forgive him for telling me. It was to assuage his own guilt.!! I need never have found out.
16 years later I had an affair that filled an emotional void in my life. I was so happy at that time that it spilled over into my marriage and made things better ( or maybe thats just pathetic justification!!) ... However my husband never knew of the affair . he would not have been as forgiving as I was!
So look for the reasons before you judge.
2006-09-07 01:35:32 · answer #4 · answered by Ellie G 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It depends on the situation and who it was... No matter what.. you need some 3rd party help.. counselor, clergy or Dr. The trust will take a while to rebuild... We all make mistakes and if the couple is committed and forgiving then all should be OK.. But cheating means there is a problem in the marriage and not always sexual.. that problem had to be fixed before the marriage can completely resume.. This is where the 3rd party help is needed.. Good luck & God Bless
2006-09-07 00:51:52 · answer #5 · answered by cinsaint1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i must say that i have done it a few weeks ago and feel so guilty it was a 1 night stand and there is nothing to change that no one is perfect the thing is if the person cheating comes up to you and tells you there self dont loose all respect because they have told you it shows how much they love you because they will have to see the dissapointment on your face but if it is an affair then yes get rid of them that just takes the p**s
2006-09-07 00:49:52 · answer #6 · answered by rico 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All cheating is bad, if i found out my man had cheated on me i would finish it. But to know it was just a one night stand i may be able to forgive later on but not ever trust again or take back but if it was a full blown affair i would trow him out, find out who the ***** is and kick the life out of her, and i would be very very hurt to know he has been lying to me time and time again, i would hate him!
2006-09-07 00:50:13 · answer #7 · answered by Emmie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly TOUCH WOOD this never happens...
now back to the question wether it was an affair or a one night stand, the question for me would be how did i find out ?
if i had found out from someone about this then i would be mad and go beserk and leave him
but if he came up to me, be brave and tell me, this is what has happened, and i am feeling terrible and i am sorry
then maybe i wouldnt leave him. things wouldnt be the same yes, it would shake up my trust, but atleast i would know that he was honest with me and i would need to know that he really will never do this again... maybe i'd go away for a bit on my own, clear my head and think about whether i want to live with him anymore or not...
i dont know maybe i can forgive if i get honesty !!
2006-09-07 01:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by GorGeous_Girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I look at It this way if you were out looking once your going to do It again so we better just say good by now I'm not going to forgive that he is supposed to be with me and only me not some home wrecker that just wants him for one night I'm not going to live like that . we made vows to each other and he broke them so we are done that would crush me to no end but I could not live with him cheating on me either yes so we would get a divorce
2006-09-07 00:54:28 · answer #9 · answered by Libra 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most relations are based on trust and respect. He just lost both. Most cheaters are repeat offenders and given the chance will do it again and again and again. I personally find it unacceptable and would leave. I don't want to worry about someone cheating on me in the back of my mind. Trust is hard to gain back, every time he says he has to work late or he's going out with his Friends are you going to question that in your mind. Forget about it move on. I've seen to many women hold on to guys like that and it makes them miserable.
2006-09-07 00:55:40 · answer #10 · answered by BrokenRomeo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋