uhmm yeah I just need it right now :) thanks for the advance please make it short thanks again
2006-09-07 00:07:52 · 13 answers · asked by OMjen 1 in Science & Mathematics ➔ Mathematics
Whats one plus one ?
Two !
2006-09-07 02:36:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1)All the functions are having a party and e^x is standing in the corner not joining in the festivities and looking lonely. x^2 comes up to him and says "you have to integrate yourself into the party." e^x replies "why, it won't change me."
2) Three engineers and three mathematicians going to a convention get on a train. The mathematicians all have tickets but the engineers only have one ticket. Just as the train is starting, all three engineers pile into one bathroom. When the conductor walks by to collect tickets, he knocks on the door, the engineers slide out their ticket and he continues on his way. After the convention, the same group of engineers and mathematicians get on the train. This time the mathematicians have only purchased one ticket and the engineers do not have a ticket. As the train starts, all of the engineers pile into one bath room, while the mathematicians pile into the bathroom across the way. Then one of the engineers sneaks out of the bathroom and knocks on the mathematician's door...
3) The difference between a mathematician and an engineer: Two people are placed in an empty room with a line down the middle. They walk half the distance to the line, then half of that distance back towards the wall. A mathematician sees this and says "they will never meet", the engineer replies "maybe, but they'll get close enough for all useful purposes ;)."
2006-09-07 01:03:36 · answer #2 · answered by thenightwalker13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does a mathematician do when faced with the problem of constipation?
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What any self-respecing mathematician would do; works it out with a pencil!
And one for kids:
Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7, 8, 9. (seven ate nine)
2006-09-07 00:43:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
One night, there's a fire in a student dorm, and, smelling the smoke, a chemistry student gets up. Upon seeing the fire, he picks up the extinguisher and runs in, spraying wildly to put out the flames.
A few days later, there's another fire. This time, a physics student wakes up. He picks up the extinguisher, angles the nozzle perfectly, and applies the exact amount of force to fire out the exact amount of extinguisher to put out the flames.
A few days after that...another fire (probably drunken English students, practising how to flip burgers). This time, it's a maths student who gets up. He sees the fire. He sees the extinguisher, and, happy that a solution exists, goes back to bed.
2006-09-07 01:05:04 · answer #4 · answered by Morgy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The son of a manager asks the father:
- Papa, how much is 4x4
- The father answers: "Are we selling or buying...?" :)
2006-09-07 00:48:23 · answer #5 · answered by sav 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teacher: "Who can tell me what 7 times 6 is?"
Student: "It's 42!"
Teacher: "Very good! - And who can tell me what 6 times 7 is?"
Same student: "It's 24!"
2006-09-07 00:20:09 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a rhino?
elephino
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a mouse?
(elephant) x (mouse) x sin(theta)
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a mountainclimber?
You can't. A mountainclimber's a scaler.
2006-09-07 04:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by David B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Nope, Because I really hate maths.!
2006-09-07 00:13:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anry 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
square root of -69
i 8 something
2006-09-07 00:45:21 · answer #9 · answered by bob h 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are three kinds of mathematicians: those who can count, and those who cannot.
2006-09-07 00:40:47 · answer #10 · answered by ringm 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋