Me and my husband really want another baby but he isn't willing to do anything to improve our chances.....
I am at my wits end! I have lost weight, given up caffeine and alcohol and have been charting, temps, mucus, etc and am definitely ovulating. I have irregular periods but was able to get pregnant easily with our first child. We have been having sex regularly (every other day) just to be on the safe side and are quite relaxed about the whole thing.
HOWEVER, my husband drinks alcohol regularly and smokes heavily (not just normal fags either!!!). We have talked about cutting down on certain "bad" things to aid our chances but he just doesn't seem to want to try??? I confronted him about the drinking a while ago as he seems to drink every day (even if its just one can of beer) but he is reluctant to cut down on anything.
Is there anything i can say or do that will convince him that all can be affecting our chances?
Anyone else been in this situation?
What would/did you do?
2006-09-06 22:58:35 · 18 answers · asked by cuddlymummy 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Just though i'd add that he pressurised me in to having more kids. I wanted to wait till now to start trying (our son is now 3) but he wanted to start trying about 2 years ago. I wish i hadn't waited now as it seems to be taking forever!
2006-09-06 23:15:27 · update #1
I gave up coffee too.And I was an addict.
My husband was also a smoker and he's surrounded by people who smoke alot.
I think you should tell your doctor about your problem and maybe he/she would advise your husband to take a sperm test. If the result is good, at least you know that his bad habits doesn't do harm to his sperm count. My husband's sperm count was low and the quality wasn't too good either, so my doctor told him to quit smoking. It actually took him a year and several sperm analysis to convince him to stop smoking. It takes patience since smoking is habit that's very hard to break.
Maybe this could help. My doctor gave my husband some supplements to improve his sperm count : multivitamin with high zinc and iron, vitamin E, co-enzyme Q10 and ATP (adenosine triphosphate, an energy bearing molecule to increase sperm motility and life span). His sperm is now much better.
I'm not pregnant yet, but at least our conditions have improved.
Good luck
2006-09-06 23:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by utikimpi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why do you want to bring a child into the world with a father that isn't willing to change his lifestyle? What kind of man is this? Is this really a good situation to be in. He is being selfish. You already have a 3 year old and he is setting a bad example already.
Your husband has a drinking problem and maybe answered prayers are a blessing. It isn't the time for you to have a child. Speak to your husband at once about his addiction and about the example he is setting for your child and your family. Tell him if he doesn't get help you are leaving until he straightens up.
He drinks everyday! What other knock on the head do you need to tell you that he needs help? Why are you selling yourself short by settling for this crap for yourself and the child already in the home? The last thing you need to do is add another child into this situation. You are very naive to think this man is ready for another child. Please get help
2006-09-07 02:41:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There isn't anything more you can say as it sounds like you've already said it. It doesn't sound like he is as keen as you to have another baby, if he was he would cut down himself. Only he can stop what he is doing. You could get some leaflets form your Health Centre about conceiving and cutting down on certain things for him to read. If that doesn't convince him then I don't think anything will.
I hope he doesn't smoke in front of your child as we all know the harm it can do to children and an unborn baby. If he is doing this maybe you would be better off not having another baby with him.
2006-09-06 23:07:18 · answer #3 · answered by koolkatt 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you're talking about. My husband smokes cigarettes, marijuana and occasionally drinks. I have explained to him over 100 times how these things affect his fertility as we're trying to conceive but he would not listen. He is very keen on having a baby (would be our first), but absolutely nothing can make him change his habits...that's just the way he is!
I have given up on changing him, and started praying more because putting more pressure on him will not lead to the result I want, It will rather create a gap between the two of us.
2006-09-06 23:14:03 · answer #4 · answered by rinah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is any direct relation between smoking/drinking with fertility. Survey result may show some facts but they are just survey - no medical proof so far (as far as I know).
It may be just a coincidence that you are not conceiving. There may be some medical problem too. Better get it checked by doctors. Also Stress and over work also may have some impact.
It happened to us. My wife conceived very easily (we just did twice) in the first time. But for the 2nd pregnancy we needed 3 years of lovemaking.
2006-09-06 23:09:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now everyone can cure infertility using this natural remedy http://pregnancyhelps.info
infertility can run in the family and one of the first things the doctor asks you when you go to a fertility clinic is your family history regarding cases of infertility or other reproductive issues.
If infertility is caused by genetic disorder then it's not unusual that one of the kids (your mom) doesn't have it and another does (your aunt).
two months of trying is still to early to be concerned about the fact that you might be infertile and it's also quite early to go to a fertility specialist. Go to a regular Obgyb to get a closer insight and see what ways there are are to improve your fertility rate.
Also remove alcohol, caffeine and cigarettes from your life because they might influence your chances too. Stress is also a risk factor when it comes to infertility.
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2014-09-27 06:34:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you consider having more children, don't you think your husband should get some help for the habits he has?
2006-09-07 01:04:11 · answer #9 · answered by **KELLEY** 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think that your husband isn't serious about having a child if he was he would quit and it can take up to two years to conceive it did with me so be patient and relax try to forget your trying to get pregnant i forgot and boom i was pregnant
2006-09-06 23:17:31 · answer #10 · answered by terri l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋