I met this girl when we were 18 , we married at 21 and Everything has been going smooth for a period of 7 years,Her family were Super, We had two lovely children,a pact made in heaven, then I was accussed of serial rape. I lost my Job , faced a serious haul in jail. There was no chance I would ever find a decent Job again.She then started accussing me of cheating. I was ex-communicated > She and her family spread rumours. I had to literally live on the street and beg for food.I was acquitted. Turned out the rapist confessed.Found a Job with the government earn thrice as much. Can't go to Church hate those hypocrites. Put her through college thougth we were separated, for the kids you know. Now She won't give me a divorce.She said only death shall do us part. Should I kill Her,then Myself .I can't bear the thought of living with her again. She betrayed me in the worst possble way. (Please no jokes)
2006-09-06 22:16:13 · 14 answers · asked by Elsalsis 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You have gotten the needed advise multiple times here but I wanted to tell you I am proud of you for being so strong and then turning around to the very people that turned their backs on you and still holding your hand out! It takes a hell of a man to do that! Do not under any circumstance commit a crime to be rid of her. Think of the children! Like many have said, she cannot stop you from divorcing her, she can only complicate it and drag it out a bit. Continue to take care of the kids so that doesn't become an issue in the courts, and keep receipts of everything! Never give the woman cash there is no way to trace it! Understand she is going to make this a hard battle and you need to (for your best interest) make sure all your i's and t's and dotted and crossed! Next, I am sure she will use the children against you do not let her win! Never bad mouth their mother or her family in front of them no matter how you feel. I am sure they will bad mouth you but in the end you will come out looking better than they do for the simple fact you were bigger than them. I wish you the bast of luck, keep your head up...you will make it I have faith in you!
2006-09-07 03:10:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi El
I can sense you still have very strong feelings (maybe of responsibility) towards her. You've also mentioned how this episode has made you seriously depressed.
I hope you can find a way to deal with the depression... counselling or some other support group. Suicide is definitely not the way.
I guess you feel very hurt from the lack of support she showed you while you were in the dumps. You should think seriously about whether you can still go on being with her despite the hurt.
If you wanna end your relationship, death is not the answer. Look for a separation, or divorce.
I think wat's holding you back is the sense of responsibility and maybe even the kids. It's not an easy decision but hey, you can't go wrong either way you call it... cause you'll be the one facing the consequences.
Good luck man.
2006-09-06 22:31:19 · answer #2 · answered by Hang Tough 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let’s start by forgetting the crap about suicide and murder.
Talk like that will only end up with you in prison.
Besides, I’m not going to help you do s*it like that.
You said that she won’t give you a divorce. Who says she has to?
You divorce her… it is as simple as that. She won’t be able to stop you.
Just go and see a lawyer, and tell him you want to file for a divorce on the grounds of irreconcilable differences!
Sort out what involvement you want to have with the kids, because divorced or not, you still have your responsibilities toward them.
If you want advice on the legal side of things, you might like to ask a question in the Politics & Government - Law & Ethics Category.
You may also wish to ask about ‘compensation entitlements’ if, as you say, you were falsely accused of the serial rape.
2006-09-06 22:22:26 · answer #3 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should obviously know the answer to this question ... murder/suicide is not the asnwer to this situation nor would it ever be in any type of situation. You really need to think about your two beautiful children .. they are completely innocent in this situation and they need both their mother and father. Needless to say something horrible happen to you .. you were wrongly accused for something but the truth came out. Now its time to restart your life, rebuild yourself and seek counseling for all that you have been through. If your wife is refusing to file for a divorce, file for it. Get a good lawyer as well to help you through the divorce proceedings. You also need to find away to forgive the past, and look forward to the future
Mel
2006-09-06 22:24:05 · answer #4 · answered by jaredsmommy2004 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After being seperated a number of years, you do not need her consent to a divorce.
If you put her through college for the kids sake, then think what killing her and yourself would do to them!
Just get yourself a lawyer and hang in there, it will all work out right in the end, you already have proof of that, you were acquitted!
2006-09-06 22:29:01 · answer #5 · answered by babydoll121070 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, you need to clear your head and deal with the emotional pain that this has caused you. (therapist or support group), Next, you need to go ahead and file for divorce and if there is any problem I would seek the advice of an attorney. You have good grounds for divorce and I don't see that she has a sound legal right to try and keep you in this marriage. Don't give up and try to move on with your life as best you can. Remember, the bitterness will only destroy you if you don't address it.
2006-09-06 22:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by mad 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You were acquitted and that is already your 1st victory! Do NOT kill her or yourself, that would be your biggest loss. How can she not give you a divorce? Annull the marriage and move on with your life.
You deserve a brand new start with people who will not hold your past against you. The beginning will be tough but please preservere and you owe it to yourself to live well. You owe her nothing, especially not your freedom which you will have to give up if you kill her.
The best way to move on is to be free of her and all the negativity, please do it.
2006-09-06 22:24:19 · answer #7 · answered by naychan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move to another state that has no contest divorces, then get divorced and then go to another church (not LDS).
Email me if you want to talk more about it.
If you do such an act as murder/suicide, it will prove in everyone's mind that you were such a monster as they thought.
SUICIDE PREVENTION
National Hope Line Network 1-800-784-2433 Suicide Prevention
SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT IT TO
Talk Zone 1-800-475-TALK Peer Counselors
2006-09-06 22:31:52 · answer #8 · answered by Movie Guy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your really going to end it all, just take out yourself. Leave the children one parent. You cannot blame her for what happened. Sorry to hear the sad details of your life. Why didn't you sue the police and make millions?
2006-09-07 02:57:07 · answer #9 · answered by Olive Green Eyes 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you have been thru more than most people go thru in a lifetime!! she in a way is is keeping you imprisioned you do not need to live this way. you need to move on and start a life for yourself and for the kids. i would get a good attorney and start from there. but suicide is not the answer you have been strong enough to make it thru this far you can do this.
2006-09-06 22:46:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋