I've been pretty secretive about my sexuality with my best friend who is a gay guy. He thinks that I am a virgin and go for strictly women. Truth is, I have a past that I am not proud of, and I know I do like girls because I'm still not over a girl over high school..I'm 25 now. I've never dated girls, but I find interest in them. Something came over me today and my best friend who is a gay guy is a really good friend of mine. Today, I realized something off about me. Although I'm intoxicated I have this feeling that I am falling for him. He doesn't know I've ever liked guys. I'm really confused and don't know what to do. He told me I am as best of a friend to him as his family. I will never tell him I ever liked guys period. I'm just scared that I am still trying to find myself. What do I do?
2006-09-06 21:27:47 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
My friend has asked me multiple times if I've ever been with a guy. I've denied it several times. Would it hurt our friendship if I ever wanted to come clean? I just don't want him to look at me differently. The gay community looks upon straight people or bi people very differently.
2006-09-06 21:39:31 · update #1
I think that your friend can be a great resource for you here, why not use it?
If he is gay, he is not going to look down on you for being gay.
And he's been through what you're going through, and he can help you figure it out.
2006-09-07 08:03:28 · answer #1 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the heck are you afraid of? You're an adult. You can speak your mind to your friend. Why keep all those pent up feelings inside and live a lie. Just tell him you were uncertain about your feelings. You don't have to label yourself. If you were intoxicated when you typed your question, you handled your drink well.
Why will you 'never' tell him you liked guys. Gees, It's not like he's straight or you're 15. Get out there and meet some people who are gay/bisexual and just talk. See how they've handled uncomfortale situations. Good luck.
2006-09-06 21:57:06 · answer #2 · answered by reme_1 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You might tell him that he's been a real good friend and you can say that you were confused a little about your sexuality. He will completely understand as he's gone through the exact same thing. You can say that you want to know what its like being with a guy and that while you haven't lied and said you've been with a guy, you have decided that its what you really want.
2006-09-06 21:54:49 · answer #3 · answered by closetcoon_fan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong if you are still trying to find yourself or find your true feelings towards other people. There is no shame in talking to your friend candidly and telling him abut feelings you've had. Since he is gay, he may be able to help you decipher some feeling you are having that he may have had at one time. And if you want to try something with a guy to see how it is, he may be willing help you find what you really like.
2006-09-07 03:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have to love yourself for what you are my friend, no-one is ever going to love you if you dont love yourself first,
You say you are 25, I think thats old enough to make your mind up,"dont you", also dont forget there is lots of people in the world who like and enjoy both male and female partners(bi)this is perfectly normal except for when you want to settle down with someone you would have to decide which way you wanted to go,
Trust you instincts and relax, gay people hardly get a second mention these days and everyone is quite happy to accept you as a friend providing you are a good person, whether you are gay or straight is irrelevant its the person that counts,,
chill out my friend and enjoy your life, as your dead a long time..
2006-09-06 21:36:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is common to think you have feelings for a friend, happens all the time with some who is married or gay because we always want what we cant have.....Am I right. Shake it off girl, if you think you might like guys go to a club & dance & flirt see where it takes you, take your gay friend to as a friend-dont ruin your friendship. Where did you find him, I want a gay friend. Grace calling Will,lol. Take Care
2006-09-06 21:34:49 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a true friendship is based on trust and truth. if he is gay, i think he will understand your situation. i have an ex that i will never get over. however, u can't just let life pass u by like that. sober up and don't lose your best friend to lust or alcohol. i drink also but, i don't want to do anything to lose my best friend. good luck.
2006-09-07 01:14:53 · answer #7 · answered by johnny_on_the_spot 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your probably bisexual.I have friends whom are bisexual,gay and lesbian.You may be falling for him because you are so close of friends and can relate to alot of feelings he has as well about things.It's really hard to say though.I say, think about what makes you feel that way towards him.Take your time in doing so.And don't be afraid to take your time finding yourself.You need to be happy and not just "settle" for what or whom you think you want.
2006-09-06 21:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by Sheila 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't worry about what other people think. However have this conversation with yourself when you have not been drinking.
You may be bisexual, you may be homosexual or you may be heterosexual. What other people don't want you to know if that ALL humans respond to both genders sexually in the right situation.
However that doesn't mean they pay attention to it, acknowledge it, or admit to it.
Talk with your friend about your feelings. However if he simply wants to sexually experiment, you need to consider his motives.
2006-09-07 01:59:30 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ah, what a mess. I've been there, and it really sucks. I suggest you keep it all to yourself for a bit, until you know for certain whether this is a lasting feeling, and not something spontaneous and fleeting. If it's real- go ahead and tell him. Keeping things like that inside is nearly impossible, and quite painful.
Best of luck to you!
2006-09-06 21:31:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋