Are we becoming hypersexual, asexual, or both?

Question

There's so much sexuality in our pop culture (music, movies, mags, and everyday talk), but are people actually doing it less? This is sort of an existential issue in my mind, which might be due to either urban isolation or the zoolike artificiality that surrounds us in today’s high tech world. In fact, I'm sort of a 'techie' myself.

People are waiting to get married until they're in their 30s, but are they having any sex at all in their 20s, and when they finally do get married, is sex a common thing or just an occasional thing? I keep hearing stories about wild kids bopping their classmates, and talk about how more women are even having extra-marital affairs these days, but it just seems like the average person has very little sex, if any. It's socially acceptable to talk about sex, but what about talking about the fact that there isn't really that much of it? Is there a bipolar phenomenon here? Please be honest about your experiences. Am I way off base here?

Answer 1

Wow.. Ok where to start?

Are people actually doing it less?.. I watched a brief news clip of a report on married people who are asexual, they have never had sex, and don't want to either.. which I found just completely weird for me.. since I have grown up always hearing about it, it's been in so many movies, songs, and it seems a very comfortable subject for me to discuss.. So apparently yes, some people are having it less... to not at all..

I can not express any opinion about those who wait until their 30's, I married young, and started a family young, so I have to admit that I was also sexually active young. All with the same man though, and we are married for 15 years this year.

Do we have sex less now?.. Yes, we do have less, we have kids, and they wear us out, he has 2 jobs, as well as my having 1 job and a household and children to raise, sometimes when life is so busy, stress levels can exceed the need to grind, and more the need to just relax. The cuddle or spoon is not over rated to feel intimacy!

I'll be the first to say SEX is one of my favorite relaxation techniques, but when tired gets to you before the urge does, yes sex slows down.

When we were first married, hmm.. I'd have to say we were like bunnies, and throughout the years, we've worked hard at being "in very good shape bunnies", exercising our urges often, we have often still been mistaken by cashiers as being newlyweds due to our physical touching in public, a stroke of the arm and hug from behind while waiting in line, etc.

SO we get out of shape occasionally, and have a week or so go by without and we miss it like crazy, so we catch up with many times within the next couple of weeks, and we're back to good.

I think you're dead on -- on sometimes there isn't much, but in my personal opinion, it's very important to catch up and make up for those dry spells and feel like newlyweds again as often as possible!

Wow ..well, I don't know about teens so much now a days and their habits sexually, but as far as a married woman, I'd never have an affair, I love sex, and he is very enjoyable, why would I ever look for anything different?

Answer 2

Well, it would seem that while our society is becoming obsessed with it in Movies, T.V. and other mediums, it is less of an occurance in the home life. I think it is mainly the celebrities whose lifes are plastered all over the place, magnified and examined to a microscopic level so that they have no secrets, especially when it comes to their love life- so, it seems at times like society on a whole is becoming hypersexual.

However, there are more people going to marriage therapists and sex counselors than ever before, which would suggest that in the main, our country has problems fundamentally with sexuality in the average person- it goes between on eof two extremes- hypersexual, where sex is very common, regular occurance, and then hyposexual, where it is a rare occurance reserved for special occasions, and still one of the spouses is fairly resistent to it.

While people are more comfortable with talking about it now, more and more are becoming more uncomfortable with the act itself- this is because already so much of our lives are out in the open, and since we talk about it, actually doing it would take one of the few things most people try to keep personal, and make it a not so personal thing.

I believe that part of it has to with how our society tries to be so open and honest now- to the point that no one really has secrets. It also makes peiople more irratable, and less trusting- there is so much about us as people out there that it is hard to feel safe about anything. Also, there is the STD fears. And with there being more televised articles concerning STDs and other sexual health issues, many become self consciouss, and uncomfortable with themselves, making it difficult to be comfortable doing any sexual act with a partner.

Answer 3

I don't think that people talk or think about sex more then before. Probably 80% of the folk songs in my country are about sex, and the rest are about death. Afterall that's all we have. And I believe that we are having less sex than our ancestors did. Today there is so much stress and so little time. An the most imortant thing - more Internet, TV, Games and all kinds of amusements. If u were a farmer in the 16th century what would u do in the 3-4 months of winter, when there is little work to be done and u can't get out. Make babies of course.

Answer 4

I don't think people are doing it less. Coming from a college student - I know that there is a lot of sex going on! I think that it is talked about more these days but I don't think the times have changed that much. People had affairs years ago. Teenagers got pregnant. People have always likes sex but what is different now is that it is WAY more talked about than it ever used to be.

Answer 5

I'm in my 20's and have plenty of sex. I think it depends on the person. I do agree that people are a little more socially isolated in our advanced technological society but I don't think that means people are having less sex over all. As far as having less sex when you're married, I don't think that's true for everyone. Marriage is what you make it.

Answer 6

I think in the high tech world people come face to face less often and they are usually too stressed when they do. I however have no problem with my sex life.

Answer 7

That relies upon on the position you stay, how previous you're, what your pastimes are, etc. put up more beneficial tips about your self. And once you're searching for severe responses, put up it someplace except R&S.

Answer 8

I think you should think about it less, and do it more.