Why is it that our mothers never told us what marriage is really about?

Question

What is the hardest thing that you have found about marriage and living with your spouse?

It's amazing to think how good things can be at times and how disgusted you can get oat others. Sometimes you feel very alone in the relationship and others you have this really great partner. I just wish it could be a more happy medium more often.

Answer 1

with my mother it was that she assumed we girls would know or learn thru experiance and seeing her and dads relationship, which was purty great..... never and I mean never did I hear one cross word between them..... mom just never told me, that when they would disagree they would go their seperate ways until they cooled off, like dad to the barn, mom to the wash room to do laundry or clean the house..... rofl..... and the hardest thing about living with hubby is , living with him...... rofl, i love him dearly and with my whole heart, but he is sooooo annoying at times.... i have him and 3 sons and 5 grand sons, so i know men.... ohhhhh boy , do i know the male species..... LUCKY ME !!!! men can be inconsiderate snobs..... it is ok for them to get mad, sad, depressed and down right rude, but God forbid if we do...... geeeeee, go figure....... God bless

Answer 2

Well my twice-divorced, very bitter mother didn't tell me because she obviously doesn't know herself. Fortunately, my grandma did tell me. The hardest thing is that most people go into it expecting it to be a 50-50 partnership deal. It is just not. Hardly ever. It will be sometimes 90-10 your favor, sometimes 90-10 his favor, sometimes 25-75 one way or the other. You get the picture. If you go into it expecting it to be fair and feel fair all the time, you will be sorely disappointed, because it almost never feels fair at the moment. It's just that when you add up the years and the smiles and the tears, you hope it was overall handled fairly. My grandma's best advice was, "Just try to be good to each other. If you do that, everything else will fall into place." And you know what? She was right.

Answer 3

Haha-because they don't know either!

From what I hear I am lucky because I have a great spouse. We seem to have a persist need on doing our best to make each other happy-just like that feeling when you first date and you do everything you can to make a good impression for the person. It has never faded for us to be honest.

Now, I won't be naive-maybe it will fade, but the fact that we have maintained it for some 10+ years shows me that it has developed into a habit more than a forced regiment I see other couples trying to do. And that is even with kids!

Will my husband go nuts one day and beat me? cheat on me? just disappear? I hope not, but I'm no stranger to the quirkiness of reality-I think it is that mentality right there that we both possess-that mentality is what keeps us addict ted!

Answer 4

Maybe because every marriage is different. My mom didn't even tell me about sex. The hardest thing about marriage and living with my spouse, is that we don't always see things the same. You just have to meet in the middle somewhere and forget about it. And I like to have my space when I go to sleep. Sometimes that's hard cause he always scoots over against me while I'm asleep and I try to scoot away from him and end up on the edge of the bed, but I wouldn't want to live without him.

Answer 5

That is such a great question!!! God I wish I had known...but really think about it. WHen I was 23, totally in love ( I thought), I wouldn't have listened. I was a hopeless romantic, I would have said it will be different for me, my life is too great, we're too much in love, we can get through anything together. It's the same with babies...I thought I was the first one, and there were no kids in the world more adorable than mine...I was so proud of myself! Look at these beautiful angels...and I did it. Do you think I would have listened to my mother tell me that they were going to grow up and not be so cute anymore? Never, had to live and learn for myself....maybe thats why they don't tell.

Answer 6

I wish my mom really took the time to explain how hard it is to be married to a soldier .. It is so different being a child of one but when they are deployed, the days and nights are so lonely with out them .. the lack of communication, the worry ... But in the end he is worth the fight.

Hugs from a Loving Mom to a Brilliant, as well as beautiful 8 year old Jared and Our Angel, Zachary (taken to soon but who will always remain in our heart) ~ Mel

Answer 7

i found out that marriage just isn't about love. its about alot more, it take alot more time and effort. plus communication. my parents don't have a working relationship and should be divorced for their own good but they wont because they think its wrong. im learning that in fact it isn't wrong at all! if all else fails and your not happy then you should do whats best for you. it takes alot more planning then i thought to. like i know no one like to think about what if you break up or what if one of you die, but it needs to be thought of and talked about!

lol i always thought life and marriage was all the fair tale dreams but i like the reality much better. im a much healthier and maturer person.

Answer 8

The hardest thing for me was learning how to fight fairly with my spouse and learning how to let him "win" once in a while...lol.

Answer 9

nobody wants to compromise. everybody wants to be a winner.
one who compromises is left to be compromising forever.
there is no self realisation left. we can't judge anymore, can't differentiate between right and wrong.

Answer 10

I don't really know, he does little things that annoy me, but then I get over them.