What hurts more living your life alone, or being with someone who you are unhappy with?

Question

this is a rhetorical question it doesnt apply to me

Answer 1

Funny you ask this question, I actually made my decision only a couple weeks ago myself. I was in a relationship for two years. First year was great and all was happy and nice. Then before last summer I started working hard on my classes. I was failing my classes in college because I was more conserned about my girlfriend than the classes. She would ask me to stay home and be with her, or tell me not to go because she would worry while I was away. It got to the point where I had to do some work, so I was going down there anyway some days and doing a lot of work on my classes. Then just before finals she started getting distant, talking to a guy a lot on the phone, and spending even more time with him online. I started worrying about this and trying to figure out what to do about it, meanwhile she would close me out, make me wait while she was on the phone. Many other things to make me dissapear when this guy was "around". I worried myself sick about this and ended up failing every class I had. A couple weeks later she told me that she had been cheating on me durring that whole time. Absolutely devistating. I decided a couple days later that it would have to be the end of the relationship. Durring the talk though I learned that she had broken off the other guy and promised it would never happen again. I told her then that I would give her a second chance. We would be together again. Skip forward a year. About four more of these at varrying levels, a whole lot of ignoreing me, insults, more failed classes, wasted money on her... total mess. Finally one day I got to thinking. She would end up finding someone because thats what she does and would treat him better than me. Then she'd move on to the next guy for a while, then find another one. I was her back up man. The guy she came to between people. I was the guy to pick up the pieces if he got wise and left her. Till one day I realized that I could stay with her forever and be unhappy all the time, or I could go on and live my life alone...

Me I chose to dump her, and live life alone. Who is to say though that you won't find someone else? Right now, about three weeks after breaking up with her, I feel lighter, happier, better, my life is getting better. Leaving her hurt a lot then, but feels so much better than being with her. I hate to hurt someone so much, but I know I did the right thing. Between an eterity of unhappiness and the chance to make yourself happy, always shoot for the chance. One way you garuntee unhappiness, the other you might find a way to be happy. Even if you don't you still had a chance, when you didn't before. What do you have to lose?

Answer 2

In reality, the answer is living with someone you are unhappy with. It's not easy living alone but at least you'll have inner peace and you will be happy. Staying in a relationship for all the wrong reasons never works. Trust me - I've been there. You hang on to something that is never going to happen. You keep hoping that 'things will change'; but they don't. You have to be strong which I know is not always easy. But do remember this: You are a human being; you are someone; you are very special.

Look after yourself first. And no, this is not being selfish at all. Love and respect yourself first. Dont' let somone manipulate you or control your feelings and anything else for that matter.

Most importantly is to just be you!

Answer 3

a rhetorical question is a question that is it's own answer or a question whose answer is plain to see.
Yet, I see this question as having two answers and which answer is correct is only decided by ones opinion.
To live a solitary life can be hard on ones state of mind. To live with someone you are unhappy with can be just as hard, but there are two lives that are being hurt and not just one.
Living alone, or feeling alone when you are with someone.
Both can hurt just as much as the other.
The saying "physician, heal thy self" can apply here as well.
Sometimes, it can be harder to take advice than it is to give it.

Answer 4

I think living your life with someone you are unhappy with is the worst situation... you're locked-in so to speak... and unhappy most every day... At least if you were alone you would have a choice of possibilities to which direction you were headed... and you may accidentally stumble upon happiness...

Answer 5

Being with someone who you are unhappy with! It better to be alone if your going to be with someone that makes you unhappy. At least if your alone you always have the chance to find the one that will make you happy. but if ur with someone that makes you unhappy then u might miss out on something good.

Answer 6

Living with someone who you are unhappy with. At least when you are alone you are not stuck in a situation that would probably be unbearable. Living alone takes a very strong and confident person, who loves themselves and who they have become. It truly is a test of ones confidence and independence.

Answer 7

I believe it's worse to live with someone that you are unhappy with because you are always wondering What If... it's alot harder to be unhappy than to just be alone, but I'm sure this differs from person to person.

Answer 8

being with someone you are unhappy with for sure.

You can find small happiness in a lot of things in your life "alone" and truly get to know yourself better, and of course a mate can greatly increase your happiness but being "commited"(with someone) to feel miserable everyday and knowing i wont ever be happy sounds like a nightmare to me. Plus if u feel unhappy u wont be able to find the small happiness other things can bring you as well.

Answer 9

Being with someone you are unhappy with, because alone you still have the freedom to make your own decisions and run with them, but with someone you still have to think of what that person would want or think and that would be hard if you did not care for him/her.

Answer 10

I think that you need to look at the reasons WHY you are not happy with the person you are sharing your life with. My feelings are that unless there is drug, physical or mental abuse happening, then you owe it to your partner to work on your relationship/marriage. As with most things, relationships go through cycles and so sometimes a relationship is going to be riding on a "high" and sometimes you'll be going through a "low". I think it's important to make every effort possible to find a comfort zone with your mate.
I give this advice from some experience. I was in a relationship for 6 years with someone who I eventually married. We were married for 11 years. We had 2 children. During our 8th year of marriage there was drug and mental abuse. We split and I eventually put up a total wall and didnt even consider reconciliation. I eventually married someone else and had another child. Four years into THAT marriage, my spouse completely went off the deep end. I won't even go into detail, but I feared for my safety. The one person that came to me to offer me a safe haven was my ex. Fast forward 4 years later and i'm planning my RE marriage to my ex husband. Yea, yea, I know it sounds crazy.... but the one thing that has changed between us is that we have a foundation with Christ now. We have found a church we adore and attend Sunday services regularly. Both of us have gone through so many changes and we've both grown up and matured. We became friends during my seperation from my "crazy" spouse and he was truly a different person from the one I had been involved with for those 17 years. After 2 years of real friendship, we began dating. July 15th he proposed and we are getting married in March. There are times that I wish we didn't have the gap in our relationship, but I do believe that the Lord had a plan and He knew that we'd never find true happiness unless we split.... my husband to be (again) has been so wonderful and understanding and even in our "low" moments... when we are not seeing eye to eye, he has never brought up any of our less than shining moments.
I have to say this though, unless your partner is committed to your relationship, it's going to be very difficult to find peace without some sort of support system. Find a church, go to bible studies, get involved in communitiy activities. Stay busy with outside influences, but make them positive ones.
One last thing, I say all this thinking that there are children involved. I would still give it a try and do my best to make my life with my partner better, but if there aren't kids, I think that if my partner wasn't responding to my efforts, i'd throw in the towel.
But hey, that's just MY opinion.