should I marry her?

Question

Hello

I have a concern and I want to share it with everyone. Perhaps someone can assist me.

I met this girl and she's really nice and friendly. When we talk, we talk for hours at a time and I am sure we can spend ALOT of time talking and enjoying each other's company. (we're not dating ot going out)

I noticed a few things about her.
1. She forms no opinion of her own
2. She is afraid of her sister
3. Once she thinks she has an idea, she will not change her mind. She will set it in stone and won't budge. She wont even tell you her reasons...


Her parents want something significant to happen. They want me to decide wheter or not I am going to marry her.

My concern is
what if I meet someone better than her? or someone else? At the same time, I'd hate to lose her... 

I am really confused so any input would be appreciated

One detail i forgot to mention was that my family is Indian so marriage is not an option and has to be done. I haven't been dating anyone so my parents are pressuring me to pick someone. The question is WHO? Alot of your input are valid and some people are flaming for no reason... If you need more info PLEASE ask.

I am sorry but her sister does NOT bully her around. She is just afraid of doing anything in front of her. For example, we rented a movie and I asked a Q about the movie and her sister answered the Q but she was reluctant to answer the Q. (I think she's afraid of making a mistake or being embarassed)

Answer 1

I presume when you say you aren't dating, you mean you aren't having sexual relations, because some of the things you describe sound like dating, or at least courting.

Cold feet is normal for such a big question.

From your description, it sounds like you might be a good match.

She will learn to form opinions of her own WHEN you establish yourself as the man in her life. She is practicing that now, by forming opinions that are set in stone, but that may be a cultural difference you can better understand.

Go for it, but plan for a long engagement. Expect petty squabbles, but if it is right, you two will be able to work it out and understand each other better.

As far as forming her own opinions, do you notice any irony in placing such an important question on Yahoo! Answers?

Good Luck

Answer 2

You shouldn't be asked to decide on marriage when you aren't even that serious with her. If the parents are asking you this tuff, they obviously have too much control over the woman's life, which is a red flag. Afterall, those crazy people would be your inlaws.

Just let them know that you are open to marriage and not afraid of commitment, but it is something you value so you would never make a super-quick decision. When you marry you want it to be right. They should think that's a "responsible" answer and appreciate it. I think they;re jsut worried that you're the type who will be a great boyfriend for years but then just not make the jump and get married. Let them know you're "good for it".

Answer 3

Marry her, right now no. You have to date and get to know each other first. It also sounds like she has some problems that she needs to address before she can be in a real relationship. I can not understand why her parents would want you to marry her when you are not even dating. You need to take time and really think about if she is the one for you. If she finds someone else before you have made a decision. Then she is not the one for you.

Answer 4

Well, ask yourself what you would be losing if you didn't marry her and what you would be gaining if you did?

One perspective is you would be losing a stubborn, uncompromising individual who is completely unwilling to meet you halfway in order to explain her reasons for her ideas and/or opinions. What you would probably be gaining is a spineless woman who cannot stand up to her bullying sister, who undoubtedly may have enough influence over her to wreck your relationship or potential marriage.

Don't ever be THAT desperate.

Because no matter how bad it is now...it probably is only going to get worse if you marry her.
You would be better off staying single for the rest of your life with only a canine for a companion - rather than put up with all of THAT baggage.

Years down the road when you are trapped with no exit, you will be kicking yourself.

Think twice.

Answer 5

If the character points that you listed (lack of thinking, fear of siblings, stubborness) are things you feel you can't live with, then don't marry her.

Dude, you are the only one who can decide if you should marry her or not. Don't let her parents push you into or out of the relationship.

You need to remember that YOU are the one who's going to spend the rest of your life with her. You can teach her not to fear her sister, you can teach her to make decisions and opinions, and you can show her how to not be so close minded--but if that is not something you want to do, don't marry her.

It sounds like the two of you are better off as friends, and not married. I would continue the friendship, but I wouldn't engage in nuptuals with her.

Answer 6

This is the age old question of,what if the grass really is greener over there. This is a decision only you can make, so make it wisely. Do you love her? Are your differences what make you two so in love with each other, or are they things that bother you? Do you see youself growing old with her and being true to her? And most of all, can you picture her being the women to have your children? Sometimes love finds you, and other times you have to find it. Good luck

Answer 7

Think if you are ready for commitment, "what if I meet someone better than her? or someone else? ", if you choose a girl, you do, no going back. Also indian girls arent free before engagement so if she dont form an opinion thats okay.

Also if you do get engaged she will change. If she is relation, yeah go for it. You too seems to be having nicer times so yeah i say, yeah.

Also there is old saying that look for your mother in law, the girl will turn like to be her. if you like mother in law then yeah say yes.

Answer 8

Maybe she wasnt allowed a voice for her own opinions ...if she's afraid of her sister, she's probably afraid of her parents too. Hence, her stubborness on some subjects is her way of having some control about herself.

You have a chance to 'listen' to her...give her confidence for a real voice and bend a bit on those things she seems to be controlling.

You seem to be one person she can trust and now it sounds like youre ready to let her down.

Answer 9

i replaced into engaged even as i replaced into 24 and married even as i replaced into 26 Our wedding ceremony hues were a light-weight peach and chocolate brown We each had our brothers as witnesses (2 total), it replaced right into a really small wedding ceremony (14 people were there which incorporates us and our reverend) Our reception replaced into held a month after our wedding ceremony, and we did no longer have assigned seating, maximum persons did not sit down, it replaced right into a dinner social gathering We had a small chocolate cake and then one of those cakes for persons to settle on, i imagine there have been 5 diverse options We went to Maui for 2 weeks We were given married in Gleneden coastline, OR, a tiny city on the coast, basically outdoors of Lincoln city

Answer 10

I personally feel that if u are asking the question of whether there could be someone better, then I don't think you're sure enought to want to marry this girl. U shouldn't be having any doubts and it should feel 100% right.