Do I still have a future with him?

Question

A few weeks ago I asked about how to save a relationship after crossing lines. Well, now I know; you cannot save it! My fiancé and I broke up. I still love him very much but I cannot accept him under the circumstances he wants. The problem is that I took too much responsibility in our relationship. I did the same mistake in my marriage. I took care of bills, grocery shopping, cleaning etc. I make life for my partner very easy. And all I want is only the attention of my partner;I can't get enough of my partner; hugging, kissing, stroking each other these are a must in a relationship for me.Before he moved from USA to Turkey to live with me, he was very sure that I am "the one" for him and he convinced me that he is what I am looking for. But after 5 months together he asked for space. He felt like my expectations from him are too high. Well. That’s the story.Is there any chance for us? Oh well, yes he did move to Turkey for me. But I get the feeling that all he wanted was to live abroad

He moved out of my apartment last week and I did not talk to him since then. I feel relifted after a few hard days;getting used to live alone again etc. Now I come home and I feel good because there is no expactation anymore. To want his attention and not to get it would stress me a lot.

I have a secure job here and pay all bills. He works too but his income only covers the child support he sends to his kids in America.

Answer 1

It sounds like you've already started the healing process and are moving on with your life without him.That's a good,healthy thing for you to do,and I applaud you for finding the strenghth within yourself to do so.One day you will find that special guy who will not only share in the financial responsibilities,but also give you the attention you crave.Until then,continue being the strong,independent woman you are and don't lower your standards on the kind of man you want.

Answer 2

First off lets talk about the fact that you should work on yourself. You seem to be very insecure with what you have to offer to a person. You most likely second guess your worth and try to over compensate it by doing and acting in a certain way. This man moved to Turkey for you. He chose a life away from his family and his familiar surroundings to prove to you that he loved you. And when he got there he was met by an environment where you acted like you still didn't trust him as well as yourself. There is a chance that things will work out becuase all he did was ask for space. He asked for it for you too. He can tell that you are still not comfortable with the person you are. You need to allow him to express what was wrong with how things were. Becuase you don't give so much to something only to give up. You need to listen to what he has to say. And don't just have him say it to you, tell him to write it down. And if it hurts what he has to say you need to read it in private and cry when it hurts. But you need to finally see the man that wants you, and you need to accept that he wants YOU. not your chores of your easy life style you have created for him. He was once an independent man and he will survive as one if he wants to. But he is chosing you. Tell him thank you for chosing you, and stop trying to SHOW him how much you appreciate it. Be selfish and embrace it. YOU DESERVE TO BE HAPPY! So hurry up and get the man back that made you happier!

Answer 3

if he moved for you that's for sure he loves you. if you are a housewife and he works yeah some helps will be wonderful otherwise if you work too and doing these stuffs i mean bills, grocery, cleaning. this is not good.
sometime anybody whoever doesnt matter needs time. maybe he couldnt get used to 'the idea living in Turkey'. i think you guys can solve your problems by talking. try to talk to him. dont worry talk anything, i think that is better way than losing your relationship. good luck.

Answer 4

It sounds like there is a chance for you. But it doesn't really sound like he is what you are looking for. You need a great deal of one on one affection. And it sounds like he is not comfortable with it. If you really want it to work you are both going to have to give a little and meet in the middle.

Answer 5

Forget about him. You'll get back into that cycle of rotten relationships. If you have to find a relationship from outside your "ethos" than you may have issues to deal with first. I recommend you meet people closer to home and get opinions about him from your friends.

Answer 6

yes,you do have a chance for youe future and the thing is that you took alot responsibility on you and it is so nice of you but than you will get back some prociations and maybe even they do prociate but its no enough to you and its cause the problem but it is up to you to having a nice future..

Answer 7

Doesn't sound like its going to work unless you compromise yourself and what you want...and that means it would only work for right now anyway, in the long run it wouldn't. You are better off just letting it go now and continuing with your search.

Answer 8

I get the feeling that all he wanted to do was live abroad too.

Let him free for a while. It is better he be free now than when married to him.

right?

Answer 9

Becareful of what you ask for? If there is trouble from the start, it will still be there in the finish.

Answer 10

yes there is a chance. you have to follow your heart and seek him out!