50 years ago, people didn't come out and gays weren't as common as they are now. my mom and dad hooked up to get a bank loan so they could open a bar/grill together,because the banks wouldn't loan to a " queer " ( my dad) back then, and then, my older sister was born. When I tell ppl my parent's sexual origins, as the result of a conversation we are having, they expect me to tell them I am gay/bi,too. In fact,some gay women/bi men have told me I am gay and have not realized it yet. Can this be true? I am not a homophobe,or i would not have married two bi men. They later went gay. I seem to attract bi men as lovers and have been hit on by alot of women. This has caused me some anxiety on whether i am gay/bi or not. i am straight,and have been married 4 times,and current hubby and I have been married 10 years....
2006-09-06 18:29:09 · 32 answers · asked by Dragonflygirl 7 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Peoples perceptions do not make you gay. If that was the case, there would be a lot more of us out there! :) You come from a very diverse background but that doesn't mean anything except the fact that you are probably far more tolerant of other peoples lifestyles!
Nothing has been proven as the cause of homosexuality. Not genetics, not nurture, not religion or anything of the sort. You know that you are straight and that is all that matters. Don't let others force you into a box or make you question your feelings.
You attract the people you do because they sense a caring and non judgemental heart. They see a safe haven in a storm. You say you are straight, so straight you must be. People want to pigeonhole things so that they can understand them better... I think that's what is really going on here.
You've been married for 10 years, that obviously must mean something. You aren't out having affairs with women and you aren't feeling any draw towards women in a romantic or sexual sense, so I don't think you have anything to "worry" about.
I commend you for your open and honest attitude about your folks, and about the lgbt community. I wish there were more people like you.
2006-09-06 18:34:55 · answer #1 · answered by Autumn BrighTree 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I'd guess that you are just more open to alternative sexual orientations than most. If you were lesbian, I'd bet money that you'd have figured it out long ago. If you were bi, well, I'd still bet that same pot. It sounds like you've been told how you should be by a lot of people and are perhaps feeling societal pressure to be something that you are not naturally. Kind of the opposite of what most gays experience. That said, I believe that most people are born something between totally straight or gay. You may be somewhere in the bi-curious area. Only you have the answer. Look inside instead of listening to others.
2006-09-06 18:50:40 · answer #2 · answered by Alex62 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Most likely you are straight coz you have many years to explore your orientation through your parents. If you are gay/bi it is likely that you would have encountered a situation where you can act out your sexuality but you haven't (kids like to do whatever stuffs that their parents are doing such as kissing, wearing make up, drinking alcohol). Put aside the classifications, keep an open mind and disregard the gender of the person you love:)
from a psychologists/genetic engineers point of view (research yet to be proven) most likely you are straight too coz they hypothesized that gay parents are more likely to have straight children.
don't worry about what others say coz who knows? some bi/les maybe attracted to you and may want you to test yourself on them! For years i always get gay guys telling me that i am a closet-ted gay and not a bisexual and that i will turn solely gay but it's all false.they just want to get into my pants! it may be true for you too.
2006-09-06 20:05:11 · answer #3 · answered by Langdon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Erica, at this stage of the game you would definitely know if you were gay or bi. From what you have told us, you sound straight as an arrow. Ignore these characters in your life who say otherwise.
Quite frankly, it may be that you get along well with non-straights because your parents were gay or bi and you are very used to people like that -- you might have a very "accepting," nonjudgmental manner about you. This is what these women who hit on you might be interpreting as gayness.
2006-09-06 18:41:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't mean you are gay but I do question the genetic component. I always believed it wasnt genetics, however when I found out that not one but both my sisters were bi/curious, and than I have a female cousin who is also bi so I question the genetics because of my experiences.I think in the case of my sisters it could be a psychological, they don't have a lot of luck with men and one of them is married (happily) so she may never try it. (Assuming she hasn't) But anyway, my sisters always seemed to have issues with men, and maybe male bashing is a common thing among lesbians/bisexual women but I can't imagine that every lesbian 100% anti men in every way, other than sexual.
2006-09-06 19:35:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your mom was bi and your dad gay the chances are that the man who fathered you was straight.Although there seems to be a genetic component to sexual orientation and it does run in families if you are gay you would probably know by now. Just don't get into any thing because you feel you should only if you want to and feel it right for you.
2006-09-06 18:39:54 · answer #6 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There isn't any conclusive proof that being gay or lesbian is caused by a gene. Bi men don't turn gay your husbands were ether in denial or using you as a screen to stay in the closet. If I were you I would stay clear of bis. not because they're all like that, but twice bitten is enough.
Tammi Dee
2006-09-06 19:28:53 · answer #7 · answered by tammidee10 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
no if your not attracted to women or have any sexual feelings toward them then chances r ur not gay. ppl expect u to say u r gay because of your parents and the possivle genetic link. if your gay and dont realize how can someonelse? can the see inside ur head? and women probably hit on u cuz ur pretty or something. and thie bi guy thing,alot of guys i know r bi,ull find a straight guy
2006-09-06 18:34:41 · answer #8 · answered by lala 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have no idea, but I'd like to think your husband of 10 years knows and loves you as you are. If you're losing confidence because you've been less sexually active lately, don't worry about it. People are more sex crazed when they're younger, I'd trust my initial orientation not my aged curiosity or lack of confidence in the area.
2006-09-06 18:36:14 · answer #9 · answered by tyreanpurple 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, you can make your own choice. I remember Rosie O'Donnell said, "The only difference between my children and other people's children is that they can decide if they want to be gay or not." It goes the same for you, most straight parents would not want their child to be gay, but you have the option to chose either way. Your parents are your parents and you are you, you don't have to be like your parents just because they are your parents. Chose what lifestyle fits you, and don't worry about genetics or anything else.
2006-09-06 18:34:53 · answer #10 · answered by poeticjustice 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋