How can I make my miserable roommate even more miserable so that he will move out?

Question

My living situation has been a total nightmare thus far. My roommate of 3 months (who i met on craigslist) is a miserable miserable person. He hates his job, hates his life and reminds me of this every day through his actions and words. I honestly believe that he makes life difficult for me to make himself feel better. Anyway, I am determined to cut this "poison" out of my life. The problem is that I can't bear to leave this beautiful apartment. How can i make this guy move back home or something without being too obvious?

Great suggestions so far, however one major problem is the fact that the lease is in his name. The one thing going for me is that he has only lived in this area for one year.

and he is gay...so walking around with my schlong out or *** raping him will only make him want to stay.

Answer 1

Just be overly positive and talk about how great your life is. Every time he complains, choose to make something positve out of it. If he bitches about his job, tell him how great yours is and how you have a fantastic boss (even if it isn't true). Just smile and say "that's too bad, man... things are great for me." A constant "chipper" attitude is sure to drive him up the wall eventually. Kill him with kindness.

Answer 2

Honey? Does he pay his rent on time? Does he help pay the bills on time? Does he pay for his share of the groceries on time? If any of these questions say no, then boot his butt, but make sure you have another roommate to fill his place so there is no down time in between. When he starts blatting about all that is wrong in his life, just look at your watch and say, "Oh wow!" I have to meet my friends in 5 minutes and run around looking for your key and disappear into your room. If he sees it, he will get the point.

Or, take him aside and tell him, "Something is troubling me. I don't like to hear negative things about you all the time. If you are that low on life, see a doctor because I do care about your welfare, and you sound very emotionally unhealthy right now. If you can't talk to me about positive things, then I don't want to hear it. You have a roof over your head, right? Running water, lights, food, etc. You should be happy because I don't have room for negative people in my life. Nobody likes being around a big bummer."

Answer 3

Pretend you're coming down with some odd disease, and/or head lice. People...even jerks...HATE the idea of catching someone's disease. Start scratching your head a lot, cough, and have fake conversation on the phone with a friend pretending to be a doctor.

"Dr. SunsetSam, the meds aren't taking! I think the rash is spreading through my lungs. This morning I coughed up more of the pus-like stuff on the table and the bathtub and the couch....and I think I could be spreading it, right?"

Either that or tell him you're joining a cult. Get some friends in on the joke, and have frequent meetings. Ask him to join, and perhaps the day will come when all of you can drink the purple Kool-Aid and escape on the "mothership". He should be plenty creeped out by then....

Answer 4

If he likes misery so much, then torturing him will probably not work. Can you just "nice" him out of your life? I found when I worked in retail that when people want to be unhappy, the nicer you are to them (think happy happy) the more miserable and irritated they become. Either that or you can just suggest to him that if he is so miserable, why doesn't he do something about it or stop complaining all the time.

Answer 5

SunsetSam's answer is the BEST!!

Honestly, being shady about it won't help. You can come right out and say it, and that will get the message across loud and clear.

But, if you must be shady, try being mean. If he complains about his job, say something like "Suck it up, welcome to real life. If you want things to be easy, move back in with your parents." You can ostracize him slowly and carefully, but it takes time.

Walk around naked, have sex in the living room--while he's there--and just become him. Become someone he can't live with.
Unless, of course, YOU moved in with HIM. Then you don't have any right to the aparment until he decides to leave.

Answer 6

The way I look at it is, your happiness is your responsibility.If you can move out without breaking a lease, I would move out. Another option, is to exercise your backbone and strength, tell this guy that your arrangement is not working out, and he has 7-14 days to move. If he refuses to respond, take court action and have him removed from the premises.
People will disrespect you if you don't show them you have respect for yourself. Take care!

Answer 7

Ok u talked to her and that didn't work, so just take her to small claims court and get what she owes u properly. Yeah u might feel better taking revenge but it wont solve anything, it certainly won't get you your money. Once she knows u are taking her to court she may just pay up on her own. People who go phyco after a split.........whether it be a friendship or a relationship look like fools and the person who did the leaving ends up looking like the good one.

Answer 8

I've been in that situation. My advice: be obvious-I tried all sorts of things too, but in the end, after all of that effort and conflict, just saying I don't like you and I want you to leave did the trick-be direct! Good luck!

Answer 9

Get some letterhead from the property management company, write a letter to you from the property management,stating that subletting of apartments I.E. (roomates) violates the lease agreement, unless that activity is ceased immediately you will be evicted. You can use that to tell his sorry *** "hey you got to go"

Answer 10

LMFAO....haha...if hes so horrible...why dont you try and make him feel better? or maybe tell him to move out...if you want to make him miserable there are so many ways...but dont hurt the guy you know...you can blast music at night...or act gay..hid his stuff?...etc..