I have a 12 yo daughter. Her breats have developed to the point she clearly needs a bra nad she's been wearing one for 2 months. The girl doesn't like, says they are uncomfortable and makes her sweat when it's hot. But since she really needs a bra, I've been firm, though with much love. I spent several hours heling her choose her bras and yet she didn't like any of them. I'm a very undersdtanding and loving mom, but on this point I had to use my motherly authority. Today I got to know my girl didn't obey and she ended up admitting severl times she took off her bra and put it on again before getting home. She's a very good girl and usually obedient, I don't think this was anything bad, I see this as something childish, But anyway, she shouldn't take off her bra without authorization.
Do you think I'm being a good mom for making her wear a bra though she doen't like it? I'm sure it's for her best
Do you she should be punished for taking off her bra? If so, what punishment?
2006-09-06 18:24:24 · 29 answers · asked by AnaMaria 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I am not sure punishment is the answer, that will just make her angry and maybe even rebel further. Find out what it is that is actually making her resist this change. It may be that you just need to talk to her about growing and changing. It can be quite scary.
2006-09-06 18:28:19 · answer #1 · answered by J O 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My mother always told me that if I don't wear a bra then my breasts will get saggy, and I will look like a very old woman. So I always wore my bra.
Punishment is not the answer, you have to listen to what she is telling you. It hurts. Some bra's DO HURT. I have worn some that put a huge sore right on my back or side. It is not fair, nor should she have to wear a bra that hurts.
You need to take her to the store and get her a bra that will be easy for her to wear. I liked the idea of a sports bra. They are really comfortable and I think would make a great training bra. Trust me, when she gets older she will WANT to wear some high class bra's. It is just not the time for that.
2006-09-07 10:15:12 · answer #2 · answered by ForeverLove 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I agree with most of these people, that yes, you are being a good mother, and that maybe you should try her with a sports bra, I would like to point out that not all women wear bras. I wear one, however, I know several women who don't. (one is 40, just so you're not thinking it's a "teenage" thing) Bras do offer great support, but it's a matter of personal preference.
I'm guessing that you didn't start her with a training bra. You mentioned that you let her develop before you gave her a bra. Imagine having your breasts developing....getting bigger all the time, but moving freely with no restraint. Of course the poor girl is having difficulty! She got used to having free moving breasts. Then bang! Mom wants her to wear a bra! Perhaps if she had started wearing one just before and during her development, she wouldn't find it so uncomfortable.
But please don't punish her for it. It must be frustrating enough for her. (going through puberty and all)
2006-09-07 07:39:54 · answer #3 · answered by Beck 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get her a sports bra. They are comfortable and will hold her in. Eventually she'll want a regular bra. She's probably uncomfortable enough about the changes in her body, no reason to traumatize her further by punishing her for not wearing something that makes her uncomfortable. You're being a good mom in that you are doing what you think is right for your daughter. You will have to reach a happy medium with her. Like I said, sports bra.
2006-09-07 01:34:29 · answer #4 · answered by Mara 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you're being a good mother but you also needs to explain to your daughter about how men and boys are going to look at her without the bra and why. I think it would be an appropriate time to teach her about the birds and the bees (and the consequences it will have). You need to stand firm with her and tell her how men, boys, and even girls will see her if she doesn't wear a bra publicly. I think you and your daughter need to have a heart to heart conversation but no punishment. She needs to be punished if she does it again after your conversation but that's up for you to decide on the punishment.
2006-09-07 03:51:39 · answer #5 · answered by Dimples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your being a good mom. she at the age where things are starting to change. Like her body. and peer pressure. punishing her for not wearing a bra. is a little harsh. but do sit down with her and explain to her why she has to wear one. and tell her that where a bra at first is gonna be uncomfortable untill she gets use to wearing one.
2006-09-07 06:27:48 · answer #6 · answered by piglet_21_2003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take advice from another teenager: She needs to wear the bra. Teenage boys are crazy, and lust doesn't help anything with 'em. The best alternitive, if you catch her several times without wearing her bra, is to force her to wear baggy shirts. (Make them berable, but have them cover all of her breasts.)
You could go to another store again as well, and try on new bras. Be really strict and say, "We're not leaving until you find one you'll wear." Then take her out somewhere afterwords.
2006-09-07 01:36:40 · answer #7 · answered by I think... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get her the most comfortable bra you can afford. Let her know if she doesn't want to wear the bra,she will have to start wearing a spandex undershirt. All it will take is one time for some friends to laughat her and she will be happy to wear a bra. I think having to wear a bra is punishment enough!!! Just let her know she is going to have to get used to wearing it. Or have a breast reduction
2006-09-07 01:45:18 · answer #8 · answered by unleashedinala 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are being a good mom, getting her a bra, she is just going to have to get used to wearing one. keep her in one on the days you two are together most of the day. You can't stop her from taking it off when she is away from you but be open to talk to about how to get used to it. I don't think punishing is the answer, it will just foster bad feelings between you
2006-09-07 01:31:26 · answer #9 · answered by LatterDaySaint and loving it 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I remember at this age, looking at my body and crying because i was so afraid. I didn't want my body to change. I didnt want to grow up. Its a confusing and tough time for a child. Think back to when you were this age. can you relate at all to her? Tell her your stories. Talk about it and reassure her. The best is to be honest and open. But be firm. she needs to take care of her body and realize wearing a bra is part of growing up. Whether she likes it or not, its a part of life. Dont get angry your doing fine. No punishment just talk openly.
2006-09-07 01:35:38 · answer #10 · answered by helpfulhannah 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"she shouldn't take off her bra without authorization"? Hey! She does seem childish but you have to make her understand that whole her body looks much better if she wears bra. Every woman has to wear it because her back may hurt if she refuses to wear it.
2006-09-07 08:54:13 · answer #11 · answered by HarMonia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋