My parents are separated and they tried divorcing but it didn't work out. My dad has abandoned all of us instead. I feel very depressed, weak, and confused.
I guess I'm very sheltered because I don't understand how some couples get married, have kids, stay together for years and get divorced in the end. It doesn't make sense to me at all. It sometimes makes me want to throw up because I don't want to have future life like that.
Why do people leave each other and divorced? And why does it hurt?
2006-09-06 18:14:53 · 11 answers · asked by dewdropinn 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Sometimes no matter how much you love a person, you can't make things work out. I have 2 children also, and I often wonder if things would be better 4 them if I left their dad. Life is so hard, sweetie, especially when you have kids. I'm sure your parents are doing whatever they feel is best for the time being. Just be strong, things always get better, I promise. I know you are in lot of pain right now and I wish I could reach out n grab you n take it all away. There are a lot of people just like you, ask your school counselor or look on the web for support groups / children of divorce. Love you
2006-09-06 18:21:00 · answer #1 · answered by lazy_n_spoiled 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
People get divorced when they aren't able to live together any more. some due to dissapointment.. some of it because of stress in the family. some because someone was unfaithful..
then there are he ones that there was abuse in the family. When we start out we all plan on being together for life.. The love that we have started out with some how just isn't there anymore..
As for your father abandoning you, he probably found out how much child suport was going to be and if it isn't written in court papers he don't think he has to pay that either. sorry about that but some men are just like that.
feeling depressed because he has left is very normal . You some how got let down in the middle of the adult world.. it isn't fair.. but it is better than living with parents that aren't happy.. I know we all don't pick the right things to do and some times we get hurt in the process. Believe me you mother is probably feeling the same way as you..depressed. weak and confused and also wondering how things went so wrong in her marriage.. and wondering why that she couldn't make it work. and what she did wrong.. I know i did.. seemed like the harder i worked at making my marriage the worse it got..so it was better to be alone with the kids and struggling than to be fighting.
I know you don't want a future like that , all we can do is try to make our futures better than what we were brought up in..
It hurts because you are missing the love of your father and don't understand why he had to leave in that way.. Some day you need to talk to him and ask him why he left you and tell him just how much he really hurt you when he did so with out explaining why he was leaving so that you would understand.
Try to go and do something to feel better.. get someone that you can talk to .like a councilor at school or something or talk to your mother. maybe she can help you to understand. you always have your grandparents ..talk to someone it will help you out ..
2006-09-07 01:34:51 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That warm, fuzzy carefree bliss of marriage many couples embrace happily in their early years of life can grow into a life of misery as either one or both spouses "mature" and find no room for marriage exists anymore. There are a few good reasons for divorce, however, they way outnumber the lame reasons why couples split.
Divorce is a ca$h cow for the ex-missus and divorce court lawyers, but aside that--any breakup between couples is painful for both them and their kids. There's so many political dynamics that come with divorce; I try to keep this answer brief.
I'd say just love your parents, and rise above their embattlements between themselves; don't let one play you against the other.
And let them know what this divorce is causing you to feel too, so they can have a clear perspective on their pending divorce.
Finally, it's also best you seek a therapist / counselor, someone trained to help kids of divorce help you cope with all this scary new stuff going on.
2006-09-07 01:32:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people just can't get along and it hurts the kids the most. Children rely on the parents to set good examples, but when they fail the kids usually always feel abandoned. I say join the crowd. Love isn't meant for just two people it is to be shared as is life experiences.
2006-09-09 02:57:06 · answer #4 · answered by 4me2no&u2findout 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hurts because humans aren't designed for divorce. Humans desire meaningful and lasting relationships.
Unfortunaly, sometimes thing don't work out, people change, find another love, and just die a spirtual death.
Pick wisely when consider a partener. Don't rush into something because of emotions, they ley to us. Find someonw who want to commit to being a partner.
And, just beacuse your prents ended one way, you are a diffrent person and you can learn from their mistakes.
Everything will be ok
2006-09-07 01:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by jhs80123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
people don't talk enough in the begining of a realtionship...about thier needs and desires...likes and dislikes in each other.What the future goals are,,and then what if they don't make it...No one ever talks about the hard times...they alway say...don't look at it negative...well you should. Sometimes things are done in a relationship that are almost inexcusible...cheating,violence. Other things are people just don't talk....Sorry for your bad hand delt...just be good help your mom..and grow up remembering these words.
2006-09-07 01:29:17 · answer #6 · answered by Chocolate_Bunny 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why do they marry in the first place?
When you are in a relationship, you grow together, around and with each other. Sometimes you grow out of each other.
It hurts because it destroys the fairytale image of love we had in our youth.
2006-09-07 01:19:25 · answer #7 · answered by miss_dots_n_dashes 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its is easier now a days and for abuse cant live by a guy being a drunk choking u holding a shotgun up to ya and making u miscarry now..then it is allowed.. but to divorce ruin peoples lives for an affair aint right to dang easy
2006-09-07 01:18:15 · answer #8 · answered by vodkavixen731 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes people change and it isn't always for the better.
2006-09-07 01:20:49 · answer #9 · answered by i luv teh fishes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're unwilling to compromise.
2006-09-07 01:18:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋