should i terminate or keep my pregnancy?

Question

ok yes i am a pregnant teen.. im 19 years old.. and me and the baby daddy are not together .. he dosent love me, and me and him cnt seem to work things out.. im not sure that i want to have a baby when there is no love between us.. yes he wants to keep it ,.. but yet he is talkin to other girls and tells me that if he is to get with another girl that it is not my business and have no say .. at first he wanted to be with me and know he says that he dosent.. what should i do???

Answer 1

Get good advice from adults who you can trust. She/he/they need(s) to be someone who knows your situation in terms of education, emotional and other support & finances.

Aborting and keeping the baby are only two options. Adoption can also be an option. Make sure you get good advice before you make any decision - you will have to live with this decision for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

First off sweetie i think that you are looking at this problem from the wrong direction. Where or not the father has another girl friend or wants to be with you really shouldn't be the determining factor as to whether or not this life gets to come into the world. It doesn't seem to be that you are taking it very seriously that as you read this, right now as you live and breathe there is another living thing, equally as special and beautiful growing and changing inside of you. A little person all its own that has the potential to do and be anything it wants if it is just give a chance. But the fact that you are asking this question in the manner in which you did shows you are more concerned with the guy and not the baby growing inside you, which doesn't make you a bad person but maybe shows you are not mature enough for this baby yet or ready to devote your life to it. I don't think though you should abort the baby but rather have it and find it a wonderful adopting family to give the baby to. There is so much love out there in the world and plenty of people that are more than ready for that bundle of joy even if you are not. What a gift you would be giving to a couple or single parent to give them a baby. Its the greatest gift you would ever give and that they would ever receive.

Answer 3

Please don't kill a baby. That baby is a part of you and already a life.
If you see that you can't keep the baby, there are a lot of people that want babies that can't have any.
No matter what, don't keep the baby to try to get the daddy back. If he is so interested in it, go to him and ask if he and his parents want to adopt the baby. But with the stipulation that you can have visiting rights. Or talk to someone at the local hospital. They can help you.
If he is like that, don't waste your time on him. Have the baby. You may change your mind and want to keep it. If you terminate the pregnancy, you can't go back no matter how bad you feel.
Talk with a priest, family member, his family, friend, or a doctor. Ask for help with this. You will find it.
I wish I could take the baby. I wanted a house full but God blessed me with two daughters. I would NEVER have had it any other way, but some women are born to be moms and some are not. Just don't make any hasty decisions.

Adoption is the only way some women will ever hold a bundle of joy. Just don't murder the baby and don't keep it if you don't feel you can be a good mom.

Answer 4

Well first of all I am speaking from experience. I was 18 when I decided to have an abortion and I have regretted it every day of my life. It has been 13 yrs. I can do nothing to change what I did but I can tell you that if I could I would. Just because you are not with the baby's daddy does not mean you should kill an innocent child. That child did not ask to be conceived there are so many people out there that can't have children and would do anything to be able to. I think that since you felt grown enough to have sex then you should be grown enough to deal with it. you have options if you do not want the baby. Do your self and that precious angel a favor don't terminate. As far as your boyfriend goes if you guys aren't together then you don't have a say in who he sees or has relations with. It's sad but true. I'm sorry if I am being to blunt. PLEASE DON'T KILL THE BABY!!!

Answer 5

It is your decision to have the baby or not. Your reading all these messages, but your going to do what you want to do any way. I was once in your position, the father was seeing someone else at the time. But the only thing thing he didn't want the child, I did. After my son was born, we got back together but that didn't stop him from cheating. We are not together any more, for 2 years now. He wasted 11years of my life! My was 19 at the time.

Now I have a wonderful man who takes care of me and my child. We love each other so much. Yes it will hurt for a little while but don't allow him to still your life.

Try God, he can make a world of a difference in anyone's life. How could I have found a husband that loves and respects both me and my child if it were not for GOD.

Choose to have your child. You don't need a man to tell you that your bueatiful and that they want you. Make a life for you and your baby! When you have your baby, go back to school and get your degree. Don't let anyone hold you back!!

Answer 6

well, obviously you can't depend on him. You need to figure out if you can support and take care of a baby. Do you have help and support from your parents? Are there people willing to help you, if so, Keep it. I have a friend who got pregnant when she was 19 and in college. She kept the baby, left the dad, held down a job, paid for an apartment and went to college. She was able to do this without a MAJOR mental breakdown. I'm not going to say that it's been easy for her. There are a lot of hurdles you have to jump like not being able to find a roomate or a good boyfriend, or beign stressed out of your mind.

If you decide not to keep it though, I would personally advise you give it up for adoption, (my views on abortion are against it) I know it's not my place, and it's your body. Just look up the permanent effects, emotionally and physically. Make sure you know what they are. Think about how you'll feel afterwards. Do you really want to do that to an unborn child?

Answer 7

Just because two people cant or dont want to be together, doesnt mean a child should suffer from that. I got pregnant at 20 and I am no longer with the father. He actually didnt want to keep the baby but I did. He grew up with me making that decision... but not all men will. But he loves him and cares for him and that is all that matters. Not that he doesnt want to be with me. I loved raising and loving that child even though the father didnt want to be with me. The child was made, its simple as that. I dont think it deserves to be terminated based on that relationship problem. You can do it without him.. women all over have! I am one of them. If you need any help or advice, suggestions feel free to email me.

Answer 8

The issue here should be do YOU want to keep the baby or not. It sounds as though being with the father is not an option so that should not come into play. Consider the facts, you will be a single parent, it sounds like he wants to be an involved father so at least your child will have that.... you need to consider the life of the child not just your relationship with your ex. If you're not ready to have a child, maybe you should look at your other options... but not being with your ex is no reason to write off an innocent child.

Answer 9

Keep the baby, Girl I have two baby's and I'm 23. They are the best thing that happens to a woman. You get to watch them grow and learn and to see them change from infant to this little person who has all these questions and wonders its just an amazing feeling to know YOU raised this little baby into an amazing person. And if you still don't want it,give it up for adoption cause there are women who would do anything to have the opportunity to raise a wonderful beautiful baby. Babies are our future and with out them how would you or I be here.

Answer 10

Having the baby won't keep you together however it is not your unborn child's fault. There are plenty of couples out there that can't have there own children so adoption is always an option. However if you do choose to terminate the pregnancy remember that if you want to have children later in life it will make it harder because it scars your uterus. In the end it is your decision not anyone elses but remember just because you two don't make a good match doesn't mean he won't make a good father.

Answer 11

Why..Why..Why did you get pregnant if the dad does not love you. A baby is never the answer to keep a relationship together.If you think he will be a good dad, and he will be there to help financially..well then the two of you should raise the child. Just remember this baby is a very special gift from God,and you both are responsible for his care.If you will be able to love this child unconditionally and possibly have all the responsibilty of raising this baby...I would keep the baby,but....you are not me . Maybe you should ask your mother if you will be able to count on help from her.It will be hard but you can do it!!!!