For my wife, sex once a month is enough. I like at least once a week. We talked about it but no change. Moreover it is always me who is trying to give her pleasure. But she never does anything to try to give me pleasure. I even gave her some adult movies to watch to get ideas. It seems she does not think it is necessary to give and take. She says she never gets the urge to have more sex no matter what I do. Sometimes I stop having sex for a long period. after 1 month it seems that she wants to do it but as I dont want to show that I want to, she also never initiates. This is causing a lot of problem in our life. Anybody have any advice ?
2006-09-06 18:04:04 · 8 answers · asked by lifeisfun 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
BTW, I am 36 yrs and my wife is 30. We are married for 10 years and have to small kids. She is a housewife taking care of our children and home. But she always asks me to get her some type of professional work to do in her spare time.
2006-09-06 18:19:50 · update #1
It is a serious problem indeed. Talk to her very patiently and tell her sex is as important as understanding in marriage. Let her get this feeling that you are loyal to her and you would do something outside marriage if she doesn't cooperate with you. Also her ignorance could be because of the way you have sex with her. You should learn how to please her by knowing what she likes in sex. Try watching movies together and don't directly jump to sex. Have a lot of foreplay to arouse her. Hope it helps.
2006-09-06 18:08:52 · answer #1 · answered by genial 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How old are you folks, more to the point, how old is your wife and how long have you been married? Do you realize how many factors there are for lack of libido? You cannot ask a question like that and not give more facts. I believe if anyone answers your question without knowing more and not about the adult movies, they would be kidding you. You can't ask people to take a shot in the dark with something this important to you.
PS. You posted some more info so here goes:
You guys got married early and she does care for an awful large family. You also cited that she wants to work outside the house so there lies some of the issues. Your wife is exhausted and she feels that there's more she should be doing. Just maybe she equates sex with pregnancy only and doesn't know how to express her dismay and her stress.
You should at the very least be kind and ask her and for what it's worth, seek professional help. It will help if she can speak to someone openly and honestly with NO JUDGEMENTS.
2006-09-07 01:10:36 · answer #2 · answered by Notorious 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every two weeks, get a sitter, book a hotel room for a night.
Go in the day and spend the entire day together, doing real conversation/relaxing stuff. Sitting on a patio chatting. Take in a show. Basically date.
Let her have a NAP.
Have a good romantic dinner, get drunk, you know the rest.
The next morning, sleep in, laze around, don't watch a minute of tv or turn your attention off her. Shower together. Have a morning swim.
When you checkout, she won't be able to wait for those two weeks to go by..
2006-09-07 01:27:19 · answer #3 · answered by lucy_shy8000 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was the same with my soon to be ex-husband. I felt it was a convenience for him and that was the only time and way he showed me he loved me giving be thoughts of him having an affair. Try love pats, little notes on the mirror, I love you's for no reason and doing a little more around the house. Also, if there is any verbal or mental abuse, tone it down. You may think not but you might have said something to make her feel degraded.
2006-09-07 01:18:49 · answer #4 · answered by tdm1175 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, i am not sure if you have kids, but for women, they make it hard to get in the mood. What do you do to interest her in sex? do you just ask, or is there a romantic lead up, maybe a massage. or do you help with housework, i know if i feel overwhelmed with stuff and he's not helping, then the hell i want sex. it needs to be good in the head first for women, we are not as simple as men who just watch a porn and they can do it, i am not sure the movie you gave her but if its typical porn, i doubt that will motivate her. perhaps some porn made for women, or you could get her a vibrator and use that, they work great.
2006-09-07 01:08:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh No! Please, Please do not listen to weldeep. Yes, talk to your wife, but telling her that you will partake in extra marital extravaganza is not the answer. Depending on her age it could be a medical condition, or maybe she is at a point in her life where she is just not happy with herself. It's possible that she has lost that first love tingle, but are you showing her affection outside the bedroom. Take her out to a nice dinner and a walk. Remember all the energy and effort you would give when you first started dating, start using it again.
2006-09-07 02:23:41 · answer #6 · answered by luvu!!! 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hei, ur gonna have to try....if not its going to fall apart. If you're doing it only to sho her that u love her, there are other ways also....
But its important that u make her feel that she's loved. Most females tend to forget that first love feeling thingie. Anyway its up to you to bring back the memories.
2006-09-07 01:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by Lambada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you guys really have to talk. you should tell her exactly how you feel. if talking does not work, maybe a marriage counsellor can help.
2006-09-07 01:09:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋