I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years. i'm 24 years old and he's 27. The thing is.. He knows that He is the only one I want to be with.. He knows that I am not leaving him for anyone eles.. Well since he knows this he spends all the time online playin poker or with this one friend (thats a guy) of his almost everyday. I ask him if he likes anyone eles and he says no.. I trust him with all my heart, I know he's not cheating on me.. he never has and he never will. We spend Friday nights together cause that is our movie night. and then on Wed, Thurs, and Sat I go with him to the bar so he can shoot pool.. that is all the time I get with him mostly. When we go someplace.. his friend has to go. it can't be just us 2 anymore. Anyone have any sugestions for me to try out. I love him with all my heart. and I want this relationship to work more then anything..
2006-09-06 17:56:12 · 13 answers · asked by Jen 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You shouldn't have to try so hard to "be" with him. Let him know that you feel neglected. Never let any man (or woman) know that you won't leave. They will use it to get away with things that they may not normally do. Some do it because they don't really want to be there, others just want to see what boundaries that they can push. If he doesn't want to spend time with you, then you should find some girl friends to go out with. Never let a significant other that you are always available.
It doesn't really sound like he's trying to take advantage of you. It just sounds like you're all over him too much. Give him his space. You go out with him 4 nights a week! That's a lot. Do Friday and maybe one weekday night, but then do your own thing. He doesn't even have a chance to miss you. It sounds like you're smothering him.
2006-09-06 18:03:02 · answer #1 · answered by sillylittlemen 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think that the issue is, is the fact that you have been together with teh same person for 2 years and you haven't said anything about this. The important thing to remember about relationships is that you should be living life together, not for each other. You go along to the pool hall with him so he can meet up with his friends. Why not call up a girlfriend instead and catch a movie? Or tell him that you are bringing a friend along with you? Two can do what he is doing. He is not going to change when things are going just hthe way he wants to. He doesn't have to listen to you complain because he takes you out and you have your one designated night, but at the same point, you are just doing HIS thing. When was the last time he accompanied YOU to something YOU had planned? you are dedicating too much to his needs and wants and friends and not finding a common ground for you. That is why you are feeling neglected. I don't think that he cheats, because he wouldn't bring you around, but he is going to start losing interest if you just fade into his life. You need to be a distinguishing factor, not just another body along for the ride. Mix things up. Two years is a long time so you obviously have something good going together. This is nothing that you need to confront him about or anything, just change things up and see how he reacts. Then do the talking. you're life needs to have a pace of your own! You deserve it! And trust me, he won't be scared of your change. He'll probably be excited.
2006-09-07 01:07:18 · answer #2 · answered by girl_like_you 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to go through phases where you feel like you are getting distant when you're in a long term relationship. The best advice I can give you is start spending time with your friends or taking a class. Doing something seperate from him will give you more to talk about and make the time you spend together more exciting. Also, tell him that you would like to spend a little more time just the two of you. Suggest doing something together besides watching movies like going to the zoo or surprise him and take him to the lake with a picnic lunch on the weekend.
2006-09-07 01:03:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lucrecia2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, if you have been together 2 years and the only night you spend alone is on Fridays...he needs to figure out what he wants. If you two have any hope for a future together, you need to communicate with him that you don't spend enough time together. Imagine you get married and have a family and he still pulls that sh!t. It sounds to me like he still wants to act single. I went through this with my ex fiancee. Note the EX in front of the fiancee. We lived together and I took care of his child from a divorce and he was barely ever home, because he wanted to drink with the guys or what have you. He needs to realize that even though you DO love him and DONT want anyone else, all of that could change if he doesn't start treating you the way he's supposed to treat someone he loves. You don't need any suggestions. You need to tell him how you feel and even though you love him, if he doesn't reciprocate it, girl there is no future there.
2006-09-07 01:03:53 · answer #4 · answered by PerfeclyImperfect 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After 2 years, your relationship has gone stale, A triple date at the pool hall is not my idea of what a 27 year old male should do with his girlfriend. Doesn't sound to me that he cares for you as much as you care for him. Tell him to straighten out (3 nights a week shooting pool?) If he can't treat you right leave him.
2006-09-07 01:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can you see yourself married to this guy? All that poker and pool ....he seems to have far too much time for his own pleasure and doesn't consider you important enough to be with you everyday and spend quality time with you. I really dont think your relationship will workout in the long run. You should consider either talking to him straight out or finding someone who has more time for you. I think this guy is selfish and unreliable. Personally I WOULD DUMP HIM!!
2006-09-07 01:06:32 · answer #6 · answered by ♥♥♥GODDESS♥♥♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Then chill out. He's just that type of guy gotta have his life predictable. Try getting a hobby that he's not interested in and make yourself a bit more mysterious. ;) He cant help being predictable....he needs you to liven things up jes a teeny tiny bit. ;)
2006-09-07 01:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am afraid that people who are selfish usually don't change. So what you have to decide is if you want to live a life like this or not.
2006-09-07 01:00:09 · answer #8 · answered by auburn 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats good to stick to one person.
2006-09-07 01:06:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move on. If he notices and wants you, he will come and find you. If he does not notice...not much else to say.
2006-09-07 00:59:54 · answer #10 · answered by An Unhappy Yahoo User 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋