My sister called at 3:15AM b/c my nephew (age 8) was crying from missing my mom (she lives with us).So the heck what! I got very upset b/c I can't think of anybody else she would have disrespected like that."Do you know what time it is",I said and continued to tell her off.She did apologize but asked me was our mother awake.OF COURSE I HUNG UP ON HER!The next day she called and asked me to extend her apologies to my husband (who agreed that it was disrespectful)I told her I would and I did. Later on she called back,got my husband on the phone and apologized.Damn!Shouldn't she have left it alone?Here's the thing-He got on the phone and all he said was,"huh,oh yeah,oh that's ok, don't worry about it" I felt like I was just standing out in left field all by myself. As if he was saying,"don't worry,she's mad but I'm not" I got so mad! In return,I got her back on the phone and asked her why she had to call back. He starts yelling while she's on the phone and I hit him in the face with phone
2006-09-06 17:03:46 · 24 answers · asked by Just me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like there is alot more going on in your family than what you are sharing with us. I think you need to sit and have a long talk with your hubby about your feelings. Let him know that when you are trying to enforce something with your family that he needs to back you up. You also need to have a long talk with your sister and set up some ground rules for when she can call your home.
My husband has to get up very early for work everyday, so we have told all of our friends & family that calls to our house during the work week need to be done between 7:00 am and 9:00 pm. Weekends that is extended to 10:00 pm. We've told them if there is an emergency (car accident, medical emergency, fire, terrorist attack, etc) that they can call anytime anyday. If your family is making nuisance calls to your home at inappropriate hours, you need to set up a schedule with them and let them know when they cal call. Calling at 3:15 am to tell grandma that you miss her isn't acceptable.
Your husband is probably just as upset about the phone call as you are, but doesn't want to make it a big deal and cause more tension between you and your sister. A word of advice, apologize to your husband for hitting him with the phone. Hitting anyone is nopt acceptable and you may want to see a therapist about a possible anger management problem. As with many families, I think that yours is under a great deal of stress. Part of it probably has to do with the fact that your mom lives with you and not your sister. I'm sure there are also alot of other contributing factors that we are not aware of here. If I had to guess, I'd say there is alot of competition between you and your sister; and in your marriage you seem to be the more controlling spouse. Your control issue may be a result of the lack of control in other areas of your life.
2006-09-06 17:19:42 · answer #1 · answered by cowgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. What drama! I don't even know where to start. Firstly, you were violent towards your husband, for which there is no excuse. Your sister might have been thoughtless in calling at such an hour, but you certainly didn't handle this tactfully. I wonder about her parenting that she would be so desperate to appease an 8 year old, as to wake people up to chat. Your poor husband is stuck in a position that is impossible. He either gets struck for what you think he meant, or he has to blindly lash out at a woman who is apologizing for something he knows nothing about. My guess is you hit him because he was trying to reason with you. I think you have anger issues. I think your sister needs etiquette lessons. I think your mother needs her own phone line at least. I think your hubby needs an abuse counselor. You seem pretty irrational to be trying to justify your behavior in all of this. .
2006-09-07 00:18:00 · answer #2 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooh no you didn't! Did you really hit that man in the face with the phone??? Okay, let's talk. First of all, you can go to jail for doing **** like that. Second, you did not have to answer the phone at 3:15 or have a conversation. They say, "we teach people how to treat us." See, what you are not looking at is you are responsible for the way others respect or disrespect you. Try doing something different... unless you like the drama of course.
2006-09-07 00:12:52 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did you ever consider that your husband was trying to leave your family business to you? if my wife's family does something that affects us, I let her handle it. If my family does, then I handle it. Maybe he just didn't want to yell at your sister because that puts him in a conflict of interest with you. If he yells at her, your psycho self might take that as an attack on your family and then he is in trouble anyway. Or maybe he really was over it. Why should he stay pissed? Seems like you have that covered.
2006-09-07 02:13:50 · answer #4 · answered by zmonte 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Um yeah... calm down... wooosawwww
Anyway...
It isn't his family... you would have been just as mad if he told off your sister after you already talked to her... he was just trying to get her off the phone most likey...
But yeah.... you have a few control issues going on there... how 'bout hitting your husband I'm thinking isn't a positive solution to your problem... I'm just throwing that out there
2006-09-07 00:11:47 · answer #5 · answered by Kelé 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't take it as he left you out in left field. He was probably annoyed and just wanted to get her off the phone so you wouldn't get mad. I hope your husband is ok.
2006-09-07 00:19:04 · answer #6 · answered by tpurtygrl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So your husband should be just as prone to flying off the handle as you are? And because he remained calm, you hit him? He should have hit you back. You give wives a bad name, maybe your man will wise up and run off with your sister :-)
2006-09-07 00:06:53 · answer #7 · answered by n2bateyou2000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you not just say "Don't do it again" to your sister and your husband.? You certainly did not do anything for your marriage. I really believe the physical abuse might be why your husband is reluctant to raise any controversy even with your sister!
2006-09-07 00:08:20 · answer #8 · answered by Elwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
geeeee girl..... get a grip......... she said sorry several times..... all she was doing was making sure he got the message that she really was sorry...... and she was looking out for her child..... you might have done the same thing ya know ? or would you ? if your child was crying would you not love the child enough to take the chance, even at 3 am, to help that child be ok ?? geeeee, grow up and get anger managment treatment....... God bless
2006-09-07 00:08:58 · answer #9 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i wouldn't care what time of the night it was i would never get pissed at my sister for wanting to come to me for support. family is the most important thing in the world and getting mad at someone who needs that support is a very selfish thing to do
2006-09-07 00:32:27 · answer #10 · answered by melinda w 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋