He says it is me but I say it is him. He treats me really bad emotionally and mentally. I can't even act like myself, I have to act like he wants me to. I am tired of being treated this way but I don't want to lose him because I still love him. I just want him to treat me better. Should I go along with the seperation idea or what?
2006-09-06 16:50:06 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, why do you want to be with someone who obviously doesn't want to be with you. Leave the SOB.
2006-09-06 16:53:21 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't deserve to be treat badly emotinally or mentally. You deserve to treat with love and respect. Have you tried marriage counseling? If not, I would ask him to give it a try. A seperation doesn't mean it will end in divorce, it's a cooling off time, a time to regroup, and figure out exactly what you want. This maybe the cure for him to realize how he has been treating you, but then again it could be he's ready to move on without you.
Honey, I know you love him, I know you are hurt and disappointed that things aren't what they suppose to be, but you can't keep living with him mistreating you. It's not right, and it's not healthy. He may not even know what he wants, thinking the grass is greener on the other side, let him go look. If you try to keep him there with you when he doesn't want to be it's just going to get worse. He's going to end up hating you. And you don't want that, if you really love him as much as you say you do then let him go. If he comes back then your marriage will be stronger and happier. If he doesn't then, you will be okay too! You can go on with your life, and a man who wants to make you his world will have a chance to show how much he can treasure you. You deserve and have the right to have someone love you as much as you love your husband. I know you are full of pain and disappointment, and he's got you beat down with the mental abuse, but honey, you can overcome this. It won't be easy, but you can....don't let this ruin your life...there is too much good living to be had, and you being such a loving person have a lot to offer a man, and there plently out there that would make your happiest their life's goal. So, please do some soul searching, and think about this seriously, if your husband will try counseling, then give it a shot, if he doesn't then you go by yourself, It's not fair,I know, but I also know it's not right for you being treated like this. You said you can't even be you, aren't you ready to be you again! You should have to act a certain way, there is someone just for you, the way you are, you can't be happy pretending all the time, I can't imagine the stress that you are under, and that's not good. Sweetie, think about this, you deserve to be you and be happy! It's what is right, and you can't keep up this "game of pretend" for the rest of your life. You will be having a nervous breakdown, and is he worth it? Someone you doesn't treat you and love you like he should...I don't think so, he's wrong! You do something good for yourself, stand up for yourself, demand what he promised " to love, honor, and cherish", and if he can't or won't-----go find someone who will, the true you, don't some make believe person you have been forcing yourself to be! Please think of what I said, and please please know you don't need this kind of treatment...too many guys out there looking for a good and faithful woman like yourself, and they will be accepting of the real you......please take care of yourself, and know that you aren't alone, and that you are going to be ok.....
God bless us all...............
2006-09-07 05:52:56 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to learn to love yourself before you love someone else. Dont you want someone that treats you with respect and gives you the love you need? Dont you want to be able to be yourself and act the way you want to act? I say get seperated so you can collect your thoughts and see what life is like without someone being a bully.
2006-09-06 23:54:55 · answer #3 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should because if you stay with someone who treats you so bad you will end up with very bad self-esteem problems. I know how hard it will be to separate but in the long run you will be a lot better off and you will be able to be yourself again. Good luck with whatever you decide.
2006-09-07 00:43:15 · answer #4 · answered by Misty Evenings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I would. You might be surprised at what you learn about yourself. If you are being abused emotionally and mentally you will find a sense of peace. You may even find out that what you thought was love was not. No one deserves to be treated in such a manner. I left my abusive spouse. That I thought I loved. But I found myself in the process. I learned I took alot of crap in the name of love. What I thought was love wasn't. I was afraid to be alone. But I love it now!
2006-09-07 00:31:11 · answer #5 · answered by Constance Olivia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen I went thought this about 2 years ago and I left him because we were always fighting and we have kids and I stayed for them. But after the fighting became a everyday thing I left and after 1 month we relized we loved one another that and the time apart made us relized how much and I didnt want to lose him and it killed me inside to do it but were more in love now then a the time.
2006-09-07 00:57:48 · answer #6 · answered by Buffy777 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let us call it separation, just call it cool-off . Perhaps in the meantime that both of you were physically apart for a moment, will enable both of you to RE-THINK AND RE-ARRANGE the way you treated each other so that in the end it will RE-VIVE your love for each other. As the saying goes, abscence makes the heart grow fonder.
2006-09-07 00:02:30 · answer #7 · answered by dtmc542006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say that is is BOTH of you....please don't take it wrong.
Are you SURE that you love him, or are scared of being alone? I don't see him as wanting to be with you...he is trying to tell you nicely that it is over. I would get the Separation but do it LEGALLY so that you have certain 'rights' for when you do get Divorced....as it sounds like it will come to this.
Good Luck!
2006-09-06 23:56:18 · answer #8 · answered by BITE ME 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may love him but you deserve much better. Go with the separation and if it is truly meant to be then everything will work out. Good luck!
2006-09-06 23:56:52 · answer #9 · answered by vvvlambert 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave him. What's the point of being with someone if you can't be yourself? He doesn't love YOU if you're acting like someone you're not. He loves the person you're pretending to be and you deserve better.
2006-09-07 00:02:28 · answer #10 · answered by xskeptictankx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HE WILL TAKE OFF ON YOU HE MAY BE WITH SOME ONE NOW WHY STAY WITH ANY BODY THAT TREATS YOU LIKE THAT IT WILL NOT GET ANY BETTER TELL HIM TO HIT THE ROAD FIND SOME ONE THAT WILL LOVE YOU I AM SURE HE DON'T LOVE YOU GOOD LUCK TO YOU
2006-09-07 00:16:23 · answer #11 · answered by freeman3905@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋