When she found out she was pregnant, her boyfriend flipped out and moved her in with his dad who is my boyfriend. Now she drives 25 plus miles to work every day instead of 3 blocks. She is 23 and he is 28. They need their own home. I work in a large hospital and checked into some subsidized housing for them this morning and left them a contact phone number about apartments.
I asked my boyfriend if his son and my niece got the message and he started screaming at me over the phone and told me it was none of his business what they do and he doesnt get involved in their lives. Was I wrong to try to help them out. Winter is coming and the father of this unborn baby does not have a drivers license because of a DUI and they need to get closer to his job. I am trying to help out and protect my niece from a mess. I was in the same situation when my son was born 21 yrs ago. Am I missing something. . Is my boyfriend right to yell at me on the phone at work? What is he thinking?
2006-09-06 16:46:47 · 17 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I don't see any reason for the yelling on the phone. Yes I think you should care and try to help them as much as you can. Now you can't do everything for them, but do what you can.
It does seem that you are more upset about your boyfriend and his reaction then anything else. This is a very high stress situation, so I'm sure you both are under extra pressure. You both need to discuss the situation, and try to come up with a solution. If your boyfriend thinks you both shouldn't get involved with his son and your niece, then he needs to realize that they have moved into your guys home. So he is now an involved party.
What you need to tell your boyfriend is,
"I'm sorry if that whole situation upset you, but I was only trying to help them out. They are under a lot of pressure, and they need all the support they can get from us. We both love them and want to see them happy, so we should at least offer to help them. If they don't want our help then that is their choice, at least we tried."
I hope this helps. Good luck.
2006-09-06 17:06:12 · answer #1 · answered by RelationGuru 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're right in trying to help. About your bf, there might be like a 1000nd things on his mind going about now. Maybe he doesn't really know how to deal with his son being a dad and living in his house, or have a lot of stuff from work and feels that you should live him some space. He shouldn't have screamed when you were trying to help, but maybe you should have talked to him at home.
Take this in the right way, I don't mean to be pushy or anything. Maybe you should just suggest that you might help, not just start investigating and trying to put 2 plus 2 and expect that your niece and bf will follow what you do. Maybe they can feel like you don't like them at your bf house, or want to impose something. Better to ask them when there's more time than just bringing in stuff. This is just an idea, and it might not be the only or the best one.
Good luck
2006-09-06 23:53:43 · answer #2 · answered by Roberto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are a great aunt to care enough about ur niece to try to help them. Maybe ur feller is just up set cause his son made this mistake and did not use protection. Well its ur nieces fault to. they need all the help they can get right now. Just dont let it be one of those things where they get to where they totally depend on you. Men dont think like women and dont act like women, they are problem solvers but they think in the now and not so much the later. I hope all goes well for them, I wish them the best too
2006-09-06 23:53:43 · answer #3 · answered by kitkat19582002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are doing anything wrong to try and help them out . They certainly need a place to live with winter coming on. Your boyfriend was very wrong to yell at you over the phone at work.Go ahead with your plans to help them and God bless you for your caring attitude.
2006-09-06 23:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel that your boyfriend is really mad about the situation. Talk to him about it. You are not wrong for trying to help continue to help them out. There is nothing wrong for trying to see your niece wellbeing. Just talk to your boyfriend if he still is upset about it, just leave it alone until he calms down about it, may take him a few days or weeks just be patient in the mean time just do your best to help.
2006-09-06 23:53:58 · answer #5 · answered by PurpleMoon031 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're in the wrong. But maybe you should talk to him about what made him mad. He may have misinterpreted something or just be having a crappy day in general. Hopefully, things can be cleared up easily enough. If not, I would start looking for a more reasonable partner though.
2006-09-06 23:50:15 · answer #6 · answered by Nicole 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you are a helpful caring person trying to help a young couple with no experience. Things like this should not be discussed while you are at work. Your boyfriend had no right to yell at you especially while you were at work and he needs to remember to play his roll....he is only a boyfriend!
2006-09-06 23:51:13 · answer #7 · answered by Harley 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps, considering the circumstances, you should call Planned Parenthood or another reputable clinic for a better answer. Maybe the Springer show?
2006-09-06 23:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by Freesumpin 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that you are wrong--just a rare human with a heart. Another person would not know how it feels to be without shelter until it happens to them.
2006-09-06 23:50:42 · answer #9 · answered by mizkecia1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hell naw he is wrong!!! wht the hell is he gettin an attitude for? its alright to help them, but to a certain extent, aid th em to the help, then let them be adults, which im pretty sure u are, but your boyfriend is mean for yelling. maybe he was upset about something else.
2006-09-06 23:55:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋