If gays and lesbians have so much hostility towards bi-sexuals why include them?

Question

I can't understand why I feel so much hostility towards me not only from heterosexuals but the gay community as well. If most gays don't agree with our lifestyle doesn't that make them as judgemental as heterosexuals that don't agree with theirs? I am a bi-sexual and its hard enough to have relationships period but its even harder when each side, men and women are terrified to take a chance on someone like me. I actually get more hostile comments from lesbians and gays which makes no sense to me. Why include us in whatever protest you have? I always hear gay, lesbian, transgendered and bisexual as if it were one sentence but there is so much hostility, at least what i've encountered, in the gay community why include bi's at all? Someone posted on my last question that its because we bi-sexuals have the ability to enjoy a normal life without being constantly harrassed. But I am bisexual and I have been harrassed almost as much as gay friends of mine. I don't get it and it just upsets me

Its like i'm in a damned if i do and damned if i don't situation and I don't want to have to squeese myself into one little box because I wouldn't only be lying to the person i'd want to have a relationship with but to myself. It's not all its cracked up to be, is what i'm saying and i thought if i would be accepted anywhere the gay community thats proving not to be true . . at least in my case

Answer 1

I think there might be some hostility, because for awhile many lesbians/gays thought that "bisexual" was a label that gays/lesbians adopted when they were too afraid or not ready to come out as homosexual. I don't know if that's the case anymore - my observations with this was 20 years ago.

There probably is a little jealousy too, because gays/lesbians think that bisexuals have an easier time blending in, which probably isn't true, because bis get B.S. from both ends of the spectrum.

It's too bad that one minority has to attack another minority and it really sucks if you're the minority getting harassed.

Anyhow, stick to who you are and eventually people, who are really worth having as your friends, will come around.

Answer 2

If it helps, I don't judge you. I also don't understand why the LBT community would. Well, that's not true. People tend to want the world in black and white. Bi is gray. It's confusing. A lesbian gets dumped by a bi woman for a man and she's apt to stereotype all bi women instead of recognizing that no, it was one particular woman was not satisfied with the relationship. There's a big difference, but hey, people are people. Often it's easier than admitting that they picked a poor choice to try to have a relationship in the first place. Okay, at the same time, this is a stereotype that doesn't hold for many les women. I'm rambling, sorry. So, I'll leave you with the fortune cookie fortune that I just opened: "Judge one not by his charms but by his qualities." I kinda like that one. You can even add "in bed." :)

Answer 3

Bisexuals are included in this forum because they fall under a broad, non-straight persons category. Same with LGBT offices or other places set up to support non-straight people. Bisexual people often have the same kinds of problems that Gay/Lesbian people face although perhaps at a different intensity level.

My suspicion is that gay/lebians fear that diluting of the membership, so to speak, will weaken the cause. Others have been treated rudely by bisexuals at some point and think all bisexuals are like that. Others are quick to accept those who have the same orientation as theirs but deny the very existence of any one other than theirs, except for heterosexuality.

One of the reasons gays/lesbians tolerate bisexuals is that it is from the bi community that some of their partners come from. They accept them in the bedroom but not truly in the cultural sense outside the bedroom.

In many respects, there is a mutual respect and a support system between gays/lesbians and bi's. Still though, bisexual people still feel more comfortable around other bisexuals of their own sex, especially, because they understand what it is like to have a sexual attraction for both sexes but still live (primarily) in a straight world. I have heard it said that sometimes bisexual men even feel more at ease around MSM's (men who have sex with other men) or experimenters than with homosexuals -- in a semi-friendship, supportive way. These men understand the need for discreteness in the relationship whereas gays do not necessarily.

When a bisexual finds a platonic bisexual friend, especially one of his or her sex to talk to and to get support from, it is a great gift.

Hope this helps you.

Answer 4

I'm bisexual.I'm not sure why you are getting harassed when only one lesbian was like saying bis are undecided when I was in a chatroom and said I was bi.Then my friend whose bi pretty much harassed me which i found that one odd.Then some straight guys called me a lesbian and guy hater for being bi but leaning more on the lesbian side.Other than that,I don't get probs from heterosexuals or homosexuals.I'm on myspace and no one messages me though I belong to many gay straight alliances and support gay marriage groups ,yet the others do.I hope people stop harassing you.It's not right.

Answer 5

i'm Christian. No concern with gays or lesbians. the priority approximately bisexuality, although, is you won't have the ability to fairly be a committed bisexual, because of the fact which you're committed to a individual and not a gender. As regards transgender, as a gender dysphoric guy (see avatar percentas an occasion), i've got faith I even have the main suitable to declare which you rather won't have the ability to coherently have faith your self to be a individual of one gender in the physique of yet another because of the fact with the intention to be of a definite gender you will have the history that somebody of that gender might have, all of the some time past to delivery or maybe previous. in any different case it is an phantasm, and it is not greater lifelike than believing you're a robotic or an alien. additionally, there are greater significant issues to rigidity approximately than being of the incorrect gender. you will have integrity including your physique because of the fact which you're your physique, subsequently the resurrection. it is no longer healthful to sell and help people who hate their very own bodies whilst they are bodily appropriate, or in the event that they don't seem to be for that matter.

Answer 6

It's true, lesbians and gays occasionally treat bisexuals like they're simply sluts who'll take whatever comes along. I've heard lesbians call bi girls 'undecided' or 'wishy-washy', but I've never heard a bi person call a gay or lesbian 'stubborn,' 'gender-favoritist,' or whatever the opposite might be.

It is simply beyond me why so many people are afraid to date bisexuals. Just because the world is our sexual oyster does not mean we're more likely to run off and **** someone indiscriminately. We may be attracted to both genders, but we still have ethics- and standards.

Answer 7

I have nothing against bisexuals and have yet to hear any of the community say any thing against bis. But it could be some girls felt they were burnt in a relationship with one. That would be like claiming a whole group of people are bad because of one experience. That sounds like bigotry to me.
Tammi Dee

Answer 8

I'm not hostile towards bisexual women BUT I do think you dont realize that you make it harder on lesbians.

Most men think women exist to turn them on.

When you do the whole be with a woman thing to turn on your man... all that does is result in men not taking my MARRIAGE with a female serious.

You have no idea how many men have just come right out and ask to watch me and my ex or to participate. I ask them... what in the hell made you think we would consider that.. we didnt flirt, etc... then I say sure after I watch you and your wife... then they back up and say ohhh I get it.

Answer 9

aww, i don't hate you and I'm gay!!

lol the gay people who do hate you are people who think that you are either born gay or straight, and that if you're in between you are just in denial.

i strongly disagree. An online friend of mine told me that being gay may consist of over 2,000 genes, and that if you are gay, most of these genes will be different then a typical, and if you are straight most will be typical.. if you are bi, half of these genes are typical, and half aren't.

almost no one is 100% gay or 100% straight.. As they say.. "everyone is bi, it's just to what extent."

you are welcome in the gay community any time!! the other gays are just.. i don't know lol, but i don't hate you!!

Answer 10

Well, personally, I think it is stupid for people who have been judged so harshly to judge others as well. i am gay, and would NOT judge another for being bisexual. I think that sexuality IS shades of grey, not completly black and white. Foe some, it may be, but all in all, in human nature, I think there are many shades, and I DON'T think that people can CONTROL who they are attracted to. So, I'm sure there are REASONS why they do it. Judge bisexuals I mean. But....that doesn't make it right. I think those people may just wnat you to be more like them. I dunno.