A shelter for a single woman with 1 or 2 kids renting an apt. is not the same as a married woman that owns her home with her husband. I can't just run and not look back. I have a home with considerable equity and I would need that money to get a life. It isnt a matter of choosing money over safety. We all NEED money thats all there is to it. All I have been able to do is talk with shelter people that for some reason are only dealing with women with nothing to lose. What about women with plenty to lose? What about women that must get a lawyer but whose husbands control the money so cant come up with the $5,000 retainer? And because we own our homes the "system" won't help because of our income level. What about not being able to document abuse with the police dept because they will arrest him but if they do that he cant go to work and pay the mortgage and we lose our home. WHAT AM I SUPPOSSED TO DO!!!
2006-09-06 16:05:17 · 11 answers · asked by Mom of 7 gramma of 3 3 in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
solve your problem you must be stronger...move away far away the world is big..ok...and fix your problem with your huds....
2006-09-06 16:08:32 · answer #1 · answered by lins 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the lawyer how to pay the retainer. He may be able to charge it to the both of you via property equity. They know how to do that. There are legal services that are available if you move to a shelter and do not have your own income at the time. Do you have any relatives that can give you a safe place to stay? Any support people, friends etc. The reason there are great limits in help for the abused woman, I believe, is that men still control the legal systems and they, in a great percentage, believe it is ok to abuse their wives so they don't effect much help. Recently in my area a doctor was arrested for beating his wife severely, He advertises that he runs a clinic for women's health. Ain't that a joke!! Well , good luck with this. I hope you can find a lawyer that will help you.
2006-09-06 16:14:57 · answer #2 · answered by Elwood 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to come up with some creative solutions. You need to figure out a way to get the money for that retainer. Is there something that you can sell? Or can you get a credit card and take out a big cash advance on that? Or, let your man go to jail and see to it that the home is sold at a reasonable price. You husband won't want to lose the home either, so I think he will agree to a sale rather than a foreclosure.
2006-09-06 16:18:03 · answer #3 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call a women's support group and see if there is a lawyer available who can help you protect your assets while you handle the paperwork for divorce quietly and discreetly.
Either that or you have to be willing to just explode your life and tell your husband to get out of the house now, or walk away from it to protect your children.
2006-09-06 16:13:00 · answer #4 · answered by Mimi Di 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's all about money-the almighty dollar. There isn't a lot of money in budgets of shelters and they try hard to help. You might want to check with your local YWCA, legal aid, and also with your local hospitals (ask the nurses in the ER if there are any organizations that are not public)-they will be able to tell you if there are any resources near you.
2006-09-06 16:08:23 · answer #5 · answered by Janeybaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I love it when people tell you too get out of the abusive relationship and stop being selfish. Hahaha! I got out of the damn relationship and guess what I now have a son who is abusive just like his father and nobody to help me and on top of it no money to help myself. I keep getting denied by SSI for depression and so now I am forced to give up everything and end my life. I even tried going back to school but I cant finish because I cant afford to live so please for give me for saying but at least when I was in the abusive relationship I could afford to eat and wipe my butt. I give up on this stupid *** society. Where the hell is my help?
2014-04-01 13:00:13 · answer #6 · answered by Tink 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your kids are the most valuable thing you have , the courts will decide about your material stuff , and if its a question of there safety that is irreplaceable. its tough but people do it everyday i am a three year survivor i have replaced my material stuff , your not alone and if you look you will find you have greater strength, look at your babies thats all the encouragment i needed , form an excape plan and get out . NOTHING is worth your LIFE
2006-09-06 17:38:30 · answer #7 · answered by Kitten,Doc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have him arrested and move out. have the house transfered so he is sole owner. if he is the only person in the house who is working and paying the bills and you are unable to pay the mortgage then you don't need a forclosure on your credit record. if you attempt to get out of that abusive situation there is little chance of you being able to keep the house. if you are able to go to court you may be able to around so a judge grants you full ownership of the house, allowing you to sell it and pay off the mortgage
2006-09-06 16:19:57 · answer #8 · answered by Stand-up Philosopher 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there is plenty of help out there you just have to really want it , apparently you dont otherwise the almighty dollar would not be so important . if it came to me and my kids , safety would come first , no matter what,,,,,,,,,,
2006-09-06 17:46:34 · answer #9 · answered by sindi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seek and you shall find,get in touch w/ your local crises center or call mine for HELP and referrals,even court advocates(want your house?)@1-847-697-2380
2006-09-06 16:20:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think they need help? They can stand on their own feet can't they?
2006-09-06 16:08:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋